May 9th:
There was a pesky mosquito in my room last night, so unfortunately I didn't sleep very well!
After I got ready this morning, I discovered that I didn't have my keys with me and Stacy had locked the door behind her when she left. I was essentially LOCKED IN! What a morning! Thankfully, I had my phone, called Stacy and she came back and let me out. A tough way to start the day. Ashamedly, I didn't have a very good attitude about it, but prayed about it on the way to school and asked God to help me have the right perspective, then texted Stacy to apologize for being upset when it was my fault. By the time I got to school, I felt more prepared to start the day in the Lord's strength.
It was a long day, though the 9:15 session had some exceptionally good students ... the parent of one of my rowdiest boys had come in and talked to me (through the curriculum coordinator) yesterday. Her complaint was that her son was not only getting low marks, but I had torn up his homework! I explained that I tore up the piece of paper because he was copying off another student as I walked into the class. He is also the one who is always throwing eraser pieces in class and talking the entire time. The meeting went well and I thanked her for being involved in her son's academics, trying to emphasize that we both wanted to help him, but that it was ultimately up to the student to improve. Today he was much better in class and actually took notes! The two who were supposed to write letters and bring them in today, finished the letters during class. [I am rolling my eyes as I write this ... consistent discipline has been such a struggle. I actually woke up this morning thinking about my discipline policy for next year.]
Today I really tried to focus on the good students. Last night I was thinking about my classes and how I can neglect the "good" students as I discipline the others. I don't want to discourage the "good" kids and I need to make sure to touch bases with them. Tried to talk to each of them after class and make sure they felt like things were going well.
Had the next two art classes back-to-back. I got frustrated with the first group... there was so much talking and wandering around. I spent a lot of time praying afterwards that God would forgive me for yelling at a couple of the boys (as another teacher walked into the room, nonetheless). The second art class was better, but it was hard to find encouragement in the midst of my tiredness.
During the break I could sense the magnitude of my weakness, and at the same time found it hard to rest in the strength of the Lord. Thankfully He hears the smallest cry for help and I was energized to teach the second math class. They were still a tough group ... one of the boys would not stop talking, even after I sent him out of the class for 15 minutes! I wish I could've taken a nap between my classes, but instead I graded papers! Finished off the day with my last art class. There was some drama and I found myself asking the Lord for lots of help.
Hurried home, changed, then met up with "Julee" to go to the orphanage. The older girls whisked me away right off. I showed them pictures of my family, then showed them how to write their names in one-point perspective. I brought some of my markers (from a friend in Germany) and they enjoyed decorating their names. They asked me for my autograph ... some of them wrote their names and then underneath, "loves Helen." So sweet! My Kurdish vocabulary is growing, and it is nice to have a sense that I am really learning something when I am able to hold a conversation using the few words I know. They asked me to sing for them, so I squeaked out "Amazing Grace." It really takes me by surprise - the many opportunities I have to share my love for God with these girls every week!
Came home and struggled to get a few things done. I finally gave in and took a nap at 6pm. Even after a nap though, I was exhausted. I sat down to write this entry and was finding that I didn't have the energy to go on. In the middle of typing, I begged the Lord for help to find the strength I need in Him. His answer came before I could even finish praying. My heart overflowed with gratitude and tears came to my eyes, seeing Him answer prayer so freely. It was exactly the encouragement I needed.
May 10th:
Wow! What a day! So much happened, that to review is like reading a play about my life.
Act I Scene 1
Setting: First 4th grade classroom at 9:15.
Actors: Miss Helen as the teacher. Rowdy class as themselves.
Miss Helen: "You may go to the garden if you can sit still and listen to the lesson."
Rowdy class: "Yeah! Okay, everyone be quiet. Pay attention" ... Students continue shushing each other. 5 minutes later ... "Garden. Oh, right, let's be quiet. Miss, he just threw this at me!"
Miss Helen finishes the lesson and either because she is too tired to keep up with all the shenanigans or because she is such an amazing teacher, she lets the students go to the garden. She goes to the teacher's room for a lot of grading. (The student mentioned yesterday turned in all his previous homework sets - good for him, but lots of grading for Miss Helen!)
Scene fades. Miss Helen grades papers, chats with teachers, and prepares for her next class.
Act I Scene 2
Setting: Garden during the second break (about 12 pm)
Actors: Miss Helen. Fourth grade students playing soccer.
Miss Helen is visiting with some of her students, watching the "football" tournament between the fourth graders. Four of the girls are hovered around her, sharing their snacks and teaching her Kurdish words. Five minutes before the break ends, a younger student rushes up to her, "Miss! Come! He's hurt!"
Miss Helen rushes to the field where one of her students has been hit full on in the face with the soccerball. He is in tears and can barely look up. Miss Helen clears out the other students and then lifts him to his feet. He's okay, but lets Miss Helen guide him up the stairs.
Act I Scene 3
Setting: Second 4th grade classroom at 12:15.
Actors: Miss Helen as the teacher. Prissy, one girl who is excluded because she isn't "as cool" as the others, three active boys. The rest of the class as secondary characters.
During the break, the vice principal has asked Miss Helen if she can substitute for the same class during the 1pm session, which means she will be with them for an hour and a half.
The boy who got hit with the soccer ball remains quiet during the entire class, still stunned from accident. Miss Helen is handing back homework and notices that one of the girls is in tears. She sends her out of the classroom and tells the students to read their texts.
Miss Helen: "When I come back, I am going to pick one of you to teach the lesson. If any of you talk, Connie will write your name on the board, and you will have to go to the principal."
She goes into the hall to ask the student why she has been crying.
Excluded Student (ES): "They say bad words to me, Miss."
Miss Helen brings two of the girls, including Prissy into the hall.
Both sides try to explain themselves away, but in the end, Miss Helen reminds them that they need to be friendly. She keeps Prissy a little longer.
Prissy: "Miss, she never lets us be nice to her. She always cries."
Miss Helen: "Do you remember how you didn't like me at the beginning? I had to try really hard to show you that I liked you, even when I held you to the same standards as the other students. You made it very difficult, but I tried and tried."
Prissy: "Yes Miss, I know. But it's different..." Seeing the look on Miss Helen's face, she mumbles, "I'll try."
Miss Helen returns to the classroom and calls on a couple students to try to teach the lesson. It is fun, but disorder breaks out shortly afterwards. Prissy has apparently forgotten all about trying to be friendly. The "excluded student" answers a question in class, and Prissy mimics and laughs at her. The first hour with them comes to end. Miss Helen continues the lesson into the next session even though the students are expecting to go to the garden. They finally quiet down. Miss Helen lets the class go to the garden, but keeps the three rowdiest boys a little longer and reminds them that they need to be respectful during the lesson. One of them (who was a showoff the entire class period) has to sit on the wall with Miss Helen while the others play. Showoff is actually a cute kid with amazingly thick glasses. Despite the fact that he never listens, he does well in math (when he turns in his homework).
Miss Helen: "You are a fun student, but there is a time to be funny and there is a time not to be. Do you know which is which?"
Showoff: "Funny in the garden, learning in the class." Each phrase followed by his cute little head bob.
After five minutes, Miss Helen lets him go play. The kids play for a half hour, while Miss Helen talks with a fellow teacher. As the students head back to class, Miss Helen notices more tears streaming down "ES's" face. Pulling Prissy aside, she addresses the issue again and tells Prissy that getting along with others, encouraging them, and being a good example is more important than all the math lessons of the year. When Miss Helen gets back to the classroom, she reminds the class that they need to be good for the next teacher or they won't be allowed the privilege next time. As the words are coming out of her mouth, the thought crosses her mind, "Am I really old enough to be teaching these kids anything?" She puts on her teacher face, prays that God will give her the wisdom that she needs and gets ready for the next class.
Act I Scene 4
Setting: 3rd grade art class at 1:45 pm.
Actors: Miss Helen and the 3rd grade students
Miss Helen finally gets the class to quiet down and they work on their art books. She has to send one girl out of class. When Miss Helen goes out to talk to her, there are tears streaming down her face. (This has been a tearful day!) Miss Helen comforts her and asks her if she wants to try to be good in class. The girl returns to class and the rest of the students continue working. Before they leave, Miss Helen makes each student throw away three pieces of garbage (the classrooms are usually trashed by the end of the day).
Miss Helen breathes a sigh of relief as she packs up her things and heads out to visit with the students who are waiting for rides...
Act I Scene 5
Setting: Along the school wall about 2:30 pm
Actors: Various students. Including Eva from the first 4th grade math class.
Miss Helen sits on the wall and visits with students from her classes. They are more than happy to chatter away. Miss Helen notices that Eva's eyes are red and swollen.
Miss Helen: "What's wrong? Have you been crying?"
Eva: Sniffle. Sniffle. "Nothing ... No. Oh Miss."
She comes and sits next to Miss Helen. Miss Helen's arm goes around her.
Eva: "No one likes me. None of the girls will talk to me. The other girl, she kicked me. None of them love me. Nobody loves me."
Miss Helen: "I love you."
As Miss Helen walks home she can't remember a day when there were so many tears or so much drama...
End of Act I
I don't know if it bothers anyone else to hear "Miss Helen" that many times, but it is the true story of my life! Even the teachers call me Miss Helen! No wonder I go to bed hearing little voices saying "Miss, Miss" over and over!
I can't keep going in third person anymore, so I'll just finish off the day as I normally would.
Around 4:30 Didi picked me up at the clothing store on the corner of my street. She was one of the goalies that I "trained" during the clinic. We had some good discussions and we've tried to keep in touch at school. The other day as I was walking by her bus, she called out to me and I could tell right away that something was wrong. I asked her why she seemed sad. She told me that some of her classmates had stopped talking to her. I tried to encourage her and we exchanged phone numbers. The next day I texted her, "Hope you're having a great day!" She responded happily and the next day invited me to go with her to the swimming pool! We decided to go to the pool today after school. She called me several times to make sure I was coming and tell me what I should bring ... obviously excited that I would go with her. I was concerned about being out of my element and with a student, but once again it was an opportunity to go in the strength of the Lord and not rely on my arm of flesh. Anyway, that is the back story. Didi picked me up and her driver took us to Mazi Pool. It is a brand new facility (expensive too - but I asked the Lord to look on it as an investment in His business, without monetary returns, but perhaps an ROI in my relationship with the student.) The pool is exclusively for women, so we were free to wear bathing suits. The water was refreshing after all the dust we've had.
Even though I am not a strong swimmer, I definitely knew more and was more comfortable in the water than any of the other women. Swimming is a relatively new recreation here. I hear a lot of people say that they don't know how to swim. Didi and I had a lot of fun. It was cute when she would tell me what I should do (leave your towel here, etc.) and call me "Miss." She even said, "I've never done anything like this with a Miss before. It is nice to have girl time." I know she doesn't have a lot of support at home, so I pray that I can be a good friend to her. At 8, she went to hang out with her friends, and I caught a taxi home.
Around 9pm, I went to the Assyrian Hall to play BINGO with a teacher from CSM and her family. They call it "dummbahla" and their board looks different from ours. The idea is the same though. Another "out of my element" situations where I had to rely on the Lord to guide me through. It was less awkward than I thought. Nadia's nephew could speak English, and her brother understands a little English too. The four of us sat on one end of the table and talked. The numbers were called in Arabic, so the three of them translated for me. Other than the caller announcing that I was there, and trying to say some of the numbers in English for my benefit, it was pretty low-key.
We left a little after 11pm. By the time I got home, I was ready to crash into bed. Thankful for the Lord's goodness in helping me through the day.
