December 22nd and 23rd: Pre-Holiday Celebrations and an Evening To Be Remembered

Saturday, December 22nd:

This morning I went to the market to pick up a few things, then threw in a load of laundry. Unfortunately we lost city power, so my load stopped half way through the cycle... Just another reminder of our Kurdish motto, "Expect the unexpected." Just a little after noon I taxied to "the girls'" house where we ate lunch, curled our hair, played games, and I baked my dessert for the joint fellowship service. At 4, a couple of us headed over to the Institute to get things ready. I practiced songs and then we waited for people to arrive.

The service was an encouraging time of singing songs, praying, and joining in sweet fellowship. The group of internationals working here is evidence of God's provision for my spiritual needs. Without this body, it would be easy to fall into self-pity or discouragement. But hearing their testimonies and seeing God's work in their lives lifts me up and carries me forward.

For those of you who know me well, this was one of my first traditional Christmas celebrations. Yes, we didn't celebrate growing up. (If you want the reasons, you can email Dad for his list of 14.) :) Anyway, I learned some new songs (don't worry, "Joy to the World" was not one of them - I had sung it before) and enjoyed my first Christmas in Iraq!

One of "the girls" stapling the programs together. (I will come up with good nicknames, eventually.)

"Christingles"

Lots of food

It was a cool, clear, wintry night as we left, but one filled with warmth and love that can only come when a group of individuals is united in purpose to serve the One and Only.

When I got home, I finished my load of laundry, ever so thankful for city power, and crawled into bed rather late.

Sunday, December 23rd:

Today ended in a way I am not likely to forget for a long time. This morning I walked to school for the "Christmas Party," arriving just a little after 8:30 and thinking I was late. As it turns out, nothing happened until close to 10am! Even then, we were each assigned to one classroom and given the report cards to hand out to the few students who actually came to get them. After that, the students were free to go home and we sat and waited for another hour and half for any stragglers who might come in.

Some of the students brought in food, including this beautiful cake (taste didn't rate as high as appearance):

Pictures with my students as we waited for report cards:

Kindergarten actually organized an indoor party with music and gifts for all the students. Santa was there too! He must have come to this part of the world early in order to make it to America by the 25th...

Around 11:30, I helped the curriculum coordinator write a letter, then received permission to go home.

Back at home, I vacuumed the house and finished one more load of laundry. At 2pm, I went to visit my friend H. We had an encouraging time together, and once again she fed me some amazing Korean food! Her husband (a barista) was also home and made me a latte. :) After a couple hours, I taxied home ... the driver decided to smoke a cigarette on the way and my hair smelled awful by the time I got home. Jumped in the shower, then Skyped with my family. We had a shorter conversation than usual since I needed to pick up H before meeting "the girls" at 7pm.

We met at the Institute, then drove out to visit a friend, not before picking up sandwiches to-go. We ordered ten (some of them were for the family) which must be the equivalent of a Taco Bell Grande Meal since the guy just handed us a bottle of "Family Sauce" (an Iraqi special) to take with us! Even if I could share all the details of the evening, I don't think I could describe the wonder that overcame my heart during the visit. Suffice it to say, we read the Word together, prayed, and exhorted one another through an extremely trying time in this friend's life. We serve a truly Majestic God! I wish I could share more so that you back home might be able to glimpse what we have been given the privilege to experience. God calls us to pray for the unseen, which we do in faith, though sometimes with a lack of understanding in what to ask for. Tonight I was granted a unique opportunity, when the unseen became seen. At times like these, the heart is elevated in worship to God, faith is strengthened, and we are emboldened to continue our intercessions for greater things.

It was a late evening, but I left with a thankful heart to a God Who has and continues to reveal Himself to fallen man.

December 20th and 21st: Days of Rest

Thursday, December 20th:
I spent a very restful (somewhat lazy) day at Andy and Lisa's. It was raining heavily outside, so it was the perfect type of day to curl up. I went back to my place in the late afternoon, and emptied out a bucketful of water from the leak in my window. The concrete is damp in several more places now. Later, the curriculum coordinator phoned to request help writing a letter. We managed to work it out over the phone. That was probably the most productive part of my day! :)

The city turned off for several hours and I was freezing by the time I went to bed. It came on sometime after 10pm.

Friday, December 21st:
Got up this morning and listened to a sermon from my home church. Around 11:30, I went over to "Julie's" house, just to hang out. The kids showed me their artwork, we ate lunch, and had an enjoyable afternoon together. At 3, they gave me a ride over to the English Institute so I could rehearse for tomorrow's joint fellowship service. It was a lot of fun to play again with other musicians. There are some EXTREMELY talented expats here. One plays the recorder by ear and makes up her own harmonies! It is inspiring to play along and just listen to the others. I love the feeling of being in unison with a group, especially through instruments. It is another type of nonverbal communication - like a shared secret, a knowing smile. And to play in unison praises to God makes the heart extra joyful! What a glorious day that will be when we are gathered around the throne praising Him together.

The girls drove me back home where I grabbed my present and headed out the door for an 8th grade student's birthday party. The party was at the same sweet shop where I went to my last birthday party - just around the corner from my house.

Some of the students singing "Happy Birthday"

A yummy blended fruit drink

And of course, no party would be complete without indoor fireworks!

After cake, we went over to Pizza Hot.

I enjoyed hanging out with the older girls since I don't get to spend much time with them at school. When I got home around 8:30pm, the city electricity was off, so I mopped the floor and cleaned the bathroom to keep warm. Just as  I finished the shower room, the city came back on! The accompanying "ding" is a good reminder to thank the Lord for "small" things - like electricity!

Later in the evening I was able to chat with my friend, Jessica from back home. It was good to touch bases and know that she is doing well.

December 18th and 19th: A Kurdish Party and A Math Midterm

Tuesday, December 18th:

Slept in this morning, then enjoyed a leisurely day, reading up on Greece while drinking hot tea. Around 5:30pm, I caught a taxi back to my apartment. The driver almost ruined my evening by charging me 3000 instead of the usual 2000. At the last he gave in ... I'm not sure it was the disbelief in my voice or my "teacher" look that bothered him more. I changed into my jilli kurdi, then headed back out to find my way to the English institute of some of my expat friends. I got a little turned around at the end, but the taxi driver asked a meter man for directions and we managed to find the place.

My friends and I in our jilli kurdis:

A little after 7pm, we left for a charity event for the orphans. I didn't even know about it, until my friends told me. I was really glad to go, especially since I wasn't able to visit the girls last Wednesday.

When we walked in, we were seated in an obscure place at the far end of the hall. I set down my things and looked around for the girls. There they were, at a table all to themselves in the center of the room, smiling sheepishly at me. My friends and I greeted them and then they invited us to come sit with them. I was reminded of the passage, "But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, 'Friend, move up higher.' Then you will be honored..."

Honored to be with my girls:

I sat down next to the worker who has been so kind to me in the past. After we exchanged greetings, she quietly reached over and took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze then holding it for a few seconds longer. Even though our communication in a spoken language is limited, God has graciously provided ways to communicate nonverbally. And sometimes, especially in this culture, the unspoken says more than words.

This little girl and I exchanged giggles the entire evening. She accidentally started to clap before the speaker had finished, then blushed when she saw that I'd noticed. We couldn't stop grinning!

(She also danced next to me during the Kurdish dancing.)

The famous Kurdish singer who provided our entertainment for the evening:

Living here, I have learned to expect the unexpected, but this time the unexpected meant that the event only lasted two hours! By 9:15, we were in the car driving away. Based on past experiences, Kurdish events tend to last a long time, but this one kept to the program and ended once the schedule of events had finished. I really enjoyed this evening as a unique opportunity to love my girls just a little more...

The schedule of events:

Wednesday, December 19th:

Woke up this morning to an overcast sky. It seems that even the weather doesn't like math!

I walked to school, the wind going through the Gely noticeably colder and stronger as it pushed me up the hill. Upon arrival, all the teachers convened in the teacher's room and milled around, checking the schedule to determine which classroom they would be monitoring. At 8:30, they dispersed to their classes, while all the math teachers stayed behind, warming up as it were for a big race. We looked over the midterms, comparing notes with one another, then at 9am took off to help our students!

I started with 5B, reading the problems and answering questions. I spent about 10 minutes in the two fifth grade classes, then went down to 6B and 6A. They needed a little more help, but most of them knew the material from the review worksheet. A couple complained about not remembering how to solve problems, but when I asked them whose responsibility it was to know the material, they flashed big grins and confessed that it was their fault for not studying everything.

From 10am until 2pm, I sat in a first grade classroom grading midterms. I know now why the students get so wiggly in their desks - those seats are hard! Thankfully I had lots of teachers helping me grade. We worked out an assembly line method and completed 5th, 6th, and 8th grade in a relatively short amount of time. Each question is checked in blue pen, and the total score for each section is recorded on a cover sheet (as a digit and as a written number). That teacher then signs by the score. Another teacher comes along and checks the scores in red pen, making sure they have been added and copied correctly. Because the addition can get a little tricky, that portion might be divided amongst two teachers who have calculators to help speed things up. By the time we were finished, my fingers were stained with blue ink. I meant to take pictures of all the teachers pouring over tests, but I got too caught up in keeping the assembly line moving.

After I finished grading, I helped alphabetize all the tests. As a teacher reads off scores, the curriculum coordinator enters them into the computer by hand. They usually just go in order of the tests, but the gradebooks are listed alphabetically. After alphabetizing a few of the classes on previous days, I was asked to do all the classes today since it helped speed things up. I suppose that is where the Business Administration degree comes in handy!

The curriculum coordinator and I were the last ones to leave. When I finally got home, I packed up a couple things and headed over to Andy and Lisa's. The afternoon was a blur as I tried to unwind from grading and respond to emails. At 8pm, I Skyped with Dave and Lisa. Something hit me then and I spent 20 minutes after our Skype call processing the events of the week. It was a relief to realize that my responsibility at the school is done (apart from the Christmas party on Sunday that will be canceled if it rains.) But it was also hard to feel that so little was accomplished. So many people I know are hurting right now and I've done so little to administer aid or comfort...

I had a good Skype call with Mom afterwards, enabling me to share some of the things I've been thinking about with regards to the future and my desire to serve the Lord here.

December 16th and 17th: More Midterms

Sunday, December 16th:

Went to school this morning and helped out with the Humanities midterm. I answered questions for the ninth grade class, then graded their midterms and helped other teachers grade their classes' tests. I was done by 1pm. Walked home, ate some fruit for lunch (I am on a cleansing diet for the week) then around 3pm, I took a new friend to the second-hand market. She will probably move here in January to work at an English institute. We had fun buying her a new wardrobe. The lights went out, which made it a memorable experience. Everything gets really quiet (no TVs or music playing) but life goes on as usual.

After I took her home, I went to Andy and Lisa's to "borrow" their wifi for my Skype call with the family. I had a really encouraging talk with Mom. Jaden always has something new to show me or tell me. This week he told me about playing in the snow at Grandpa's house. Eithen wanted to know when I would be coming home. It is hard to believe that it will be another six months before I see him.

I walked home after our Skype, and crawled into bed.

Monday, December 17th:

Walked to school this morning to help with the Science midterm. Mr B. put me on the schedule to monitor the second grade class as they took their test. They finished their tests fairly quickly - trying to keep them quiet after that proved to be a challenge. The science teacher came in to answer questions. Even though I would consider her mild-mannered, she ended up yelling at the students to get them to settle down. It made me thankful for the relationships God has given me with my students, where they have come to expect that I won't yell and will now quiet down without it. It isn't easy to overcome what they have been trained to respond to.

I helped grade midterms afterwards. It is mentally exhausting, but a good way to demonstrate love to the other teachers. They were very thankful and appreciative. As I get to know them better, I am able to joke around with them. I can also learn a lot about their culture and language by just observing their conversations. 

When I got home around 1pm, I packed up my things, and taxied over to Andy and Lisa's for the night. They told me I could crash at their place for a little break and use their wifi for itinerary planning. I had a relaxing afternoon and did a lot of research on things to do in Greece. Curled up for the night on one of the couches, noticing that their neighborhood is much quieter than ours.

December 14th and 15th: And Then There Was One...

Friday, December 14th:

Felt a little more rested this morning and thankful that there were no middle-of-the-night calls. Fellowship was encouraging. We looked at John 1 and what it means, "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us." We contrasted parallel verses in Exodus - though God dwelt among the people, they could not see His glory or draw near to Him. Through the Word becoming flesh, we now see His glory and have access to God. It is a good reminder that what is a barrier to many is our only access to God. After our time of study, we ate lunch together and fellowshipped.

Some of the girls dropped me off at home. On my way up the alley, the little neighbor kids came up and wanted to talk with me. We normally exchange greetings and I may ask them a couple questions, but today we spent 15 or 20 minutes talking. I was introduced to a couple new neighbor kids and then presented with an English schoolbook, which they wanted me to read aloud. I took advantage of the opportunity and had them respond with the Kurdish words.

After praying over and responding to a couple hard emails, I listened to a sermon from my home church. They updated the website a couple weeks ago, so now I have a lot of messages to catch up on! Around 5:30, I went to Andy and Lisa's for dinner. We had rotisserie chicken from the restaurant on the corner of my street, and Lisa roasted a medley of vegetables. It was a great meal! Andy offered to clean up while Lisa and I played salon. They leave tomorrow for Cyprus, so we made sure Lisa was ready to go!

After coloring Lisa's hair, we tied it up with our own version of a shower cap - a black plastic bag. And yes, her apron is a plastic bag too!

After she rinsed out the smelly chemicals (Andy had his nose turned up the whole time), the results were great! I was a little worried there that it might turn purple or yellow or something, but it looked completely normal!

It ended up being another late night, but well worth it! So thankful to spend time with the "fam" before they leave tomorrow...

Saturday, December 15th:

It was a cool, crisp morning as I walked to school. The day ended up being rather stressful. I had to take care of some last-minute problems, then went to different classrooms to read the midterm (and answer students' questions as best I could). In the midst of running from classroom to classroom, I noticed that I had a huge knot in my neck, probably a combination of the cold and tension. After the midterm was over, I stayed and helped grade tests. One of the teachers brought in lunch - biryani, a fried-rice dish with almonds, potatoes, peas, carrots, and spices that they make for special occasions. I finally finished grading midterms at 3pm and the curriculum coordinator told me to go home. They were still working on other grade levels, but he could see that I was tired and graciously let me leave.

When I got home, I rested for a little bit, then Skyped with my friend in the Philippines. They are out of the tribe for a short break, so her Internet connection was much better and we were able to talk instead of IM. After our conversation, I got a couple things finished around the house, but mostly laid low and took care of my neck. Feeling worn out as the events of the week are catching up to me...

Andy, Lisa, and the Z's left around noon and checked in just as they were getting to Erbil. For the next week, I'll be flying solo. Praying for safety, rest, and a good time with the other expats in our community!

December 12th and 13th: Whatever Lies Ahead

The last two days have been emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually overwhelming. On Wednesday I woke up at 2am to one "emergency" text, then received word of another pressing issue later in the day. Every task I wanted to finish had some difficulty associated with it. I am tempted to list all the problems that seemed to pile one on top of the other, but I'm afraid I'd give in to self-pity and not glorify God for the strength He gave me to endure. So I'll keep this update brief, leaving the tears and heaviness of heart between the lines.

Highlights from Wednesday, December 12th:

"Family" brunch before John and Mary left. We had a nice time, visiting over pancakes, blueberry cobbler, fruit, and lattes. Those moments together are precious memories and I loved the feeling of being a family. It is hard to believe that I won't be seeing John, Mary, and Henry for several weeks.

Buying carpet. After our brunch, Andy and Lisa took me to the market to buy carpet. I'd already picked out the kind I wanted, so Andy negotiated the price. Men kept joining the conversation, some fascinated by Andy's Kurdish, others wanting to give their two-cents. In the end, we got a good deal on the carpet and they loaded it up in Andy and Lisa's van.

Setting up house. In the afternoon, though it hadn't been part of my plan, I laid out the carpet in both rooms. I tweaked my back a little while moving the couch, but I was thankful for the physical exercise that helped release some of the day's tension.

Skype call with Dave and Lisa. They listened to the struggles of the day, gave encouraging advice, and took off some of my load. I stayed with Andy and Lisa until a little after 11pm when Lisa drove me home. I had to respond to a couple emails before I could finally crawl into bed after 12pm.

Thursday, December 13th:

This morning, after finally falling sleep around 1am (thanks to Mary, I now have an app on my iPad that monitors my sleep cycles), I woke up this morning at 7:30 and got ready to go to the school. I dropped a couple things off, said hello to students, and sorted through a couple problems. A little before 11, I walked home and took care of some things for school. I whipped together the ingredients for truffles, put them in the fridge to harden, then took a quick nap. When I woke up, I finished the truffles and got ready to go to a ladies' tea. Lisa picked me up at 2:30. Through fellowship and events like this, I have enjoyed getting to know the other ladies in our expat community. The tea was really lovely with little gold and blue details - candles, tablecloths, hand-made party favors. It was a relaxing moment in the midst of my storm.

Dealt with one of the issues when I got home at 6:30pm, then made mini frittatas for dinner. I took a picture as proof of one positive thing accomplished!

As I crawled into bed at 8:30pm, I was reminded that a couple weeks ago, I saw what God was teaching me as preparation for "whatever lies ahead." And here it has come.

December 10th and 11th: A Couple Days "in Review"

Monday, December 10th:

Another day without rain, thankfully! Each day without rain means my room stays that much drier.

In each class, we worked on a review sheet for the midterm. Several of my students brought MORE belated birthday gifts! It has been so overwhelming, I've almost had to tell them to stop! :)

In 5B, three of the boys were acting up and several times I caught them saying bad words (words I understood in Kurdish). At one point, I even saw (with my own eyes!) one of the boys make an inappropriate gesture. This was the same student that had reportedly done the same thing a month ago ... I just hadn't seen it and so the administrator wasn't able to do anything about it. Today, I called all three boys to the hallway after class. I reminded them of the number of warnings I've given regarding their behavior. I told them to report to me during their break. One student showed up and I took him to the curriculum coordinator (who has been acting as disciplinarian and intermediary between parents and teachers). The student told the c.c. (Mr. B) the names of the other students, and went was sent to go get them. Later in the day, one of the parents came regarding grades. Through the curriculum coordinator, I explained that their student wasn't turning in homework, etc. Afterwards, Mr. B told the parent what her son had done in class. I had to explain the gesture I'd seen him make (which was extremely awkward) and the parent made him apologize.

After school, I went to the market to pick out carpet. Sarah told me I could get some while she was gone (it helps keep the house warmer) and Andy and Lisa told me they'd be available to help me get it home later in the week. I breezed through the second-hand (bala) and found some fabric for the TV room. (We inherited one of John and Mary's red love-seats and a chair, so I am having fun with a new color scheme.)

At four, Mary, Henry and I headed over to Andy and Lisa's (John was stuck at home, fixing the water heater). We spent time praying and singing. By the time we were finished, John was done too. We picked him up and went to dinner at Al Azaim. It was the first time I've eaten inside. They are always very friendly, bringing out extras of everything and giving the kids suckers. After dinner, we went back to Andy and Lisa's for games after the kids went to bed. We are all pretty competitive ... okay, really competitive, so we had a fun time. (And thankfully left with our friendships intact.)

Tuesday, December 11th:

Today was not a very good day with my students ... mostly because I wasn't in a good mood, but also because the kids really didn't want to review for a third day in a row. I was exhausted by the time I got to school (still not feeling very well and not sleeping well at night). In 5A, three of the girls decided to argue with me during class. I told them that if they were disrespectful again, I would take them to the principal. "Fine! We'll go there and tell him ourselves." That was enough for me. After class, I told them to follow me. We walked past the principal's office ... "Where are we going?" When they discovered I was going to make them sit in my sixth grade class, their pride quavered. "No, we won't go." "Very well," I said, "then come here." I walked them to the Mr. B's office (I've been helping him with some extra projects, so I hoped I still had a mark in my favor.) Without going into details, I asked him if the girls could spend their break in his office. He seemed delighted to assist me with the problem. :) Phew! The rest of my classes sensed that I was tired and didn't push too many buttons.

When I got home, I completed a few pressing projects, then took a quick 20 minute nap. A little after 1pm, Lisa called me and I met her at the end of our street. We walked through the market together, looking for miscellaneous things (toddler shoes, warm caps, scarves, etc.). Afterwards, we taxied back to Lisa's. We picked up Zander and then Lisa drove me to "Julie's" new house. Lisa had to go back and take care of Zephie, but Zander got to stay and play while I helped Julie unpack some boxes. We rearranged her living room and unloaded most of the books.

At 9pm, Julie drove Zander and I home. I was half asleep by the time I stumbled into my room.

December 8th and 9th: He Crowns the Year With His Goodness

Team pics from Wednesday night:

I suppose this is what happens when you take six Americans and their kids and put them in a desert for a couple months!

Zander, my little man, celebrating my birthday with me:

This is a pic we took together last year that Lisa turned into a card for me:

Thanks for making my birthday so special, Lisa! (Dinner table and all!)

Saturday, December 8th:

This is what I woke up to in the morning...

After mopping up the floor (the walls were leaking too) and moving around the furniture so everything could dry, I spent the morning cleaning the rest of the house. In addition to the regular weekly cleaning, I cleaned the filters for the splits, deodorized one of the large, winter blankets that had been in storage, and did a couple loads of laundry. Mary and Henry came over for their morning nap ... they still don't have electricity for their splits. I responded to a couple emails, wrote a review worksheet for fifth grade, and updated my lesson plan books. There seemed like a lot I wanted to get done, but I didn't feel like I accomplished very much of it.

At 4pm, I went over to the new house of one of our expat friends ("Julie," who went to the orphanage with me, and her family). They had a moving day today (mostly heavy lifting) and a lot of the men came to help them. They had about two loads left when I arrived. I did some piddly jobs, vacuumed, set up beds for the children... It didn't really seem like I was much of a help - I had wanted to organize dinner, but in the end, they bought shwarma and invited me to join them. It was fun to celebrate their new house and eat their first meal there with them.

Around 8pm, Julie drove me home. We had a nice conversation. She is always encouraging me in the things of the Lord and we shared what we've been learning this week. Finished getting ready for school tomorrow, and went to bed.

Sunday, December 9th:

Wow! The birthday celebrations continue! I don't think I've ever had a birthday last THIS long (but then I've never turned 25 before) :)

I taxied to school by myself this morning (Mary still wasn't feeling well), made copies, and headed off to class. My 5th graders had forgotten that they were going to be allowed to eat food and have a semi-relaxed day today, so instead of reminding them, I handed out their review worksheets. All but three worked quietly and got a lot of it finished. One of the three did something that threw me off for the rest of the day, but I'm not sure if it was intentional ... need to ask for wisdom, especially if it continues to be an issue.

5A worked quietly as well and I dismissed them to their break a few minutes early. I went straight to my 6th grade class, not realizing that I would interrupt their plans. They made me wait outside the door, then surprised me with food, confetti, and presents! I was so surprised! I told them that we would have a party for everyone who turned in all their homework assignments for the semester. I didn't realize they would turn it into a birthday party! They made sure I was pleased, heaping my plate with cake, chocolate, and snacks. A cake fight erupted at the end, and I worried about the disruption we were causing to the other classes ... they got everything cleaned up though and then asked me to open presents. By this time, the boys had worked their way to the garden, so the girls hovered around me as I opened their gifts. Their gifts were really thoughtful - a couple new shirts, some jewelry, and nail polish. When I got home, I also had 9 candy bars in my bag!

Half way through the break, I moved to the other sixth grade class. They had forgotten about the homework party, and one of the students phoned her mother to bring a couple cakes. I sat down at a desk in the back of the classroom to wait, the girls painting my nails in the meantime. Someone had brought silly glasses and I put on a pair to take a couple photos. The class was sprawled around the room, when suddenly the principal walked in! He started yelling at the kids, telling them to sit in their seats and get ready for class ... the nail polish disappeared, I whipped off my glass, but then decided it was best to stay out of sight. I ducked behind one of the students. I'm not sure if the principal saw me or not. If he did, he pretended not to notice and walked away. I didn't realize that the break had ended, but jumped up as soon as he left and got the kids straightened up in their desks. They were grinning from ear to ear - "Miss, you almost got suspended!" We played "Sink or Swim" (if a team answers a question correctly they get to "sink" someone on the other team, or they can rescue a team mate if they have been sunk.) The cake didn't end up arriving until the end of class. Afraid that a cake fight would erupt just as the other teacher walked in, I told them they would have to either get permission from the next teacher to eat it, or wait until the next break.

As I left, I suddenly realized that I didn't feel very well. I taxied home and crawled in bed with a throbbing headache and body aches. I felt much better after a nap ... I think my body was telling me to SLOW down after the busy-ness of the past four days. My cold never really went away after last weekend ... I've been waking up with a nasty cough and then congestion throughout the day. I guess I better take it easy for a little while...

In the afternoon, Lisa called and told me that a package had arrived for me! (Andy agreed to pick up packages and have them sent in his name, so I don't have worry about going to the post office by myself.) I walked to their house and picked it up, then came home, eager to Skype with my family and open it with them. We had a nice Skype call. I opened up my birthday presents from home, and then showed them the gifts that the students had given me. Eithen has been (willfully) wetting his pants lately. I talked to him about it a couple days ago ... Mom told me that since then he hasn't had any accidents! It is really an answer to prayer to know that he will still listen to me. I know that for him, people and memories come and go. I worry sometimes that he will forget about me, but God is faithful to not forget our labor of love.

My first package from America!

Lots of goodies, including a cute card from Savannah M. from LBC!

Winding down for the evening, I was reminded of the quote by Amy Carmichael convicting me that thoughts consumed with the cost of serving stand opposed to the "pure passion of love" that God has given us for His tasks. As I have tried to push aside these calculating thoughts (comparing what I had in America to the reality of life here) and strive to be thankful for the things God has blessed me with in this place, my eyes are opened to see more and more of His goodness to me. The more I see, the more I realize how undeserving I am. I have never had such an abundance of love poured out on me, but I have never had such a thankful heart either. May I continue to love His service and learn to see the ways He is blessing me in it.

December 6th and 7th: A Day That Will Live in Infamy...

Thursday, December 6th:

Today was an amazing day! After last night I didn't think I could feel that spoiled for a long time, but today was just as thrilling (Thursdays are always "Thrilling" according to Dad).

There was still some drama in 5A, but the girls promised they would work it out before tonight's party. Prissy wrote her five things and it showed me just how little she understands what she has been given undeservedly ... it reminded me of the passage in Matthew where the servant who has been forgiven much can not forgive his fellow servant who owes him a couple cents.

During one of the breaks, the girls from 5B came up to me upset that I had invited the 5A girls! They told me they wouldn't come, but I implored them to try to love the other girls (I know they can be difficult) and to come because they love me. (This has been my petition as I realize I need to love others not necessarily for their own sakes, but out of love for my Heavenly Father who has ordained all of my relationships.)

6B wrote Happy Birthday notes to me in Miss Lisa's art class :) They were really sweet and very artistic! A couple girls brought me Snickers bars in 6A (I use it as an example for fractions in a lot of my lessons, so they know Snickers are one of my favorites.) 6A wanted to know how old I would be, so I turned it into a math problem and made them figure out my age as a fraction of a century.

After school, Sarah and I taxied home. I prepped dough for cinnamon twists and started the frosting for the cake. Around 1:40, Sarah and I took her luggage down to a taxi and drove back to the school. At 2pm, her driver to Erbil arrived. There was a discussion between the administrator and the driver about price and destination, then Sarah was off! She'll be in the States with family and friends until January 7th.

When I got back home, I made a batch of cinnamon twists and some cream cheese frosting. As I finished baking, Andy and Lisa were at John and Mary's to give Henry his present, I poked my head in to give Henry my gift of cinnamon twists (he isn't old enough to really enjoy them, so his mama helped him with those...) I'd forgotten to ask them earlier, but Andy and Lisa were up for coming to my party (I wasn't sure a bunch of adults would want to be surrounded by 5th grade girls eating cake and ice cream!) John and Mary had already agreed to come - they wanted to celebrate Henry's birthday and graciously decided to have their celebration alongside mine! I was a little concerned after hearing that some of the fathers might stay with their daughters. There wouldn't be any men representing me or overseeing our group. It was a relief to have Andy and John there. None of the parents stayed, but I think they were reassured that there were other teachers present. (A couple of my students thought Andy was my brother! I tried to explain, but in the end, we are a "nice family" as Zander reminds us, and I didn't mind the girls thinking that we were all related.)

The girls came in groups. A couple here, a couple there. By 6:30pm, all of my 5th grade girls (but one who had already told me she couldn't come) had arrived! Two younger sisters came as well. All in all, 18 girls were there!

We ate and talked, then they told me it was time for cake and presents. They are hesitant to try new foods, but many of the girls enjoyed the cake. I was showered with gifts from all of the girls. I didn't realize how much they observe me until I started opening presents. Most of the girls picked out things that match the outfits I wear to school. I taught them one of the phrases we say in America when something looks like our style. After that, they were thrilled each time I pulled out a gift and commented, "This looks just like me!" All of the girls were on their best behavior, Prissy especially, and it was actually a pleasure to have her there. I waited for her to roll her eyes or say something mean, but it never came and she seemed anxious to please me.

Two of the girls stayed until the very end. I sat with them and waited for one of their fathers to arrive. We talked for a long time. They happily chatted away, sharing their likes and dislikes, asking me questions, and telling me about their families. One of the girls (the one who lost her uncle a couple weeks ago) told me she goes to a small church where the Bible is read in Arabic and English. She invited me to come with her sometime. After a half hour, one of them asked, "Miss, should I call my father now?" I was surprised, thinking he was already on his way, but I was glad that I'd been given an opportunity to get to know my girls outside of class. Her father came within 15 minutes and they offered me a ride home. I had so many presents that both girls had to help me carry them!

All of my presents...

I was exhausted by the time I arrived home, but very thankful for my students. They are a blessing to me, teaching me so many things and reminding me how patiently God deals with me. I love teaching my students to see the beauty in little things. Their minds are not worn down by the cares of this world, and I appreciate that they are sensitive to the lessons found in their small, practical worlds.

Friday, December 7th:

My birthday continues for the third day in a row! 

This morning I woke up a quarter of a century old (if you couldn't solve yesterday's math question...). I threw together a cherry cobbler, then got ready for fellowship. I headed off (remembering to bring all the snacks with me). It was good to see everyone. The goodies were a hit (phew!) and I enjoyed sharing my birthday with everyone. Some of the girls found out that it was my birthday. Not only did they invite me to lunch after fellowship, they also peanut butter, chocolate cookies and a lovely handmade card.

We looked at Galatians 6, and I was really encouraged by the exhortation to "know Christ" (referring back to 1 Corinthians 2:1-5). We were reminded that though life here is difficult at times, our focus and priority must be to know Christ. It is easy to make a list of things we want to do and see happen, but all of this will fall into place as we strive to know Christ. Even as we bear one another's burdens, the call is the same - we can't simply relieve the physical burden, we need to make sure we are building up one another spiritually so that we are more equipped to bear our loads. This past week, I was meditating on speaking the truth in love and had come to the conviction that I need to make sure I am not saying the truth for my own sake and comfort, but for the other's benefit (with love for them a desire to see them grow). Today's lesson articulated my thoughts more clearly. If I would love my brother or sister, I must point them to the Truth that will not lead them to themselves, or me, or my ideas, but will lead them to the Source of all Wisdom.

After fellowship, the girls took me to a new restaurant called Azadi. It was nice to be treated to lunch out on my birthday (just like back home)! The restaurant was clean and spacious and the food was good - we even got a preview of it before we ordered! We stayed long after they brought out the fruit (the indication that "you can go home now") and enjoyed talking and getting to know one another better.

When I got home, I went over to John and Mary's to check on their electricity status. They were able to get about half of their outlets working, and had been able to use our apartment to warm up during Henry's nap-time. Around 5, we ate Pizza Hot together. Later, I Skyped with Dad and Mom for several hours. We had some problems with Internet and I lost city power (so no heat), but God blessed us with a great conversation. It was a lot of fun, spending my birthday morning (PST) with them! As I fell asleep, God answered our prayers and the city electricity came on. I fell asleep to the drip, drip, drip of water leaking through the ceiling...

December 4th and 5th: Pre-Birthday Celebrations!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

I woke up this morning to the sound of water droplets. At first I thought it was the white noise app on my iPad (I've been falling asleep to the sound of "Rain on Car") but I could still hear the drip, drip-drip, drip after I turned the app off. When I got up, John's caulking job was holding up, but as the rain couldn't come in there, it was dripping steadily through several places in the wall and ceiling! I moved furniture and laid out towels, then hurried through the rest of my morning routine to get ready for school.

My classes went well, though I noticed they were a little more talkative, especially my 6th grade classes.

After school, I walked to the market (thankfully the rain had stopped and only the sidewalks were a little wet). I bought an adapter for our microwave, and then went to the vegetable den. While I was there, one of the little "bag boys" came up. There are usually several young boys walking around the stands selling large plastic bags for 1000 dinar ($0.80). He sold me his last bag, and I asked him his name. Mohammed was friendly and confident and obviously a bright boy too. After making the sale, he came back a few minutes later with another friend who had a whole armful of bags. As I asked the second boy his name, it was clear that he was Mohammed's opposite. Quiet and looking up at me sheepishly, he let Mohammed answer for him. Mohammed told me that his name was Yousif. Though I only had 750 in small bills, they indicated that it would be enough. As I watched, Mohammed took the five hundred bill and gave the 250 to his friend. "Tt, Tt" I scolded and motioned to Mohammed that he should have given his friend more since the bag was his. Mohammed grinned at me and pointing at Yousif told me that they were brothers. (That is a common term here to use for friends or even acquaintances, so I'm not convinced they were familial.) I looked at Yousif to make sure he wasn't being cheated. Yousif's quiet eyes were opened wide and he nodded his head vigorously to assure me this was their partnership arrangement. One of the men running a stand nearby witnessed the entire charade and was smiling quietly, amused, I think, that I had chided Mohammed.

When I got home, I made lunch, graded and tried to rest a little bit. Other than shredding zucchini for tomorrow's baking, it was a quiet evening.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012:

I felt better today and definitely more energetic. Instead of the usual "Wonderful Wednesday" I wrote "Wet Wednesday" on the board. The kids thought that was pretty funny.

As I walked into 5A, several of my students had finished their warm-up problems. One of them told me, "Miss, I finished the warm down!" So precious! We were going over decimal place values for our lesson. To help them review, I drew dashes on the board so they could fill in the place values (ones, tens, hundreds, etc.). This immediately got the attention of one of the boys who piped up excitedly, "Are we going to play hangman, Miss?"

There are the sweet things they say that are fun to remember, but there are also the instances that make me long for their understanding of better things. Prissy has been acting up again, causing division and strife (that theme keeps coming up!) among the other students. She and her two padres told me that two of the other girls had offended them and now they were refusing to talk to each other. I'd already talked to the other two after intercepting a note being passed during the lesson yesterday. I told Natalie that she needed to write two apology notes - one to me (for interrupting class) and one to Prissy for saying unkind things. Natalie gave me my note today and told me that she'd given one to Prissy already. Prissy denied receiving the note and said she wouldn't forgive Natalie anyway. As I tried to encourage Prissy & Co. to forgive one another, to show kindness, and love the unlovable, they came back with harsh retorts and criticisms of what the others had done. In the end, I refused to hear any more of their arguments and told them to write five things God gives us though we don't deserve them.

In addition to the math material, 6B and 6A had lessons in cause and effect. Both classes were extremely talkative. I've noticed it gradually worsening throughout the week and today I told them that their behavior was making it impossible to teach. With about 15 minutes left in class, I put them to work on the assignment, writing their instructions on the board and telling them that anyone who talked would lose their break. As a warning I wrote several students' names on the board for the slightest infraction. In the end, two students continued to push the limits and they had to stay for their break. One immediately started pestering me and trying to argue his way out of the consequence. The other continued working on his homework without saying a word. After a few minutes, I dismissed the latter, thanking him for honoring me and receiving his consequence well. The first still did not understand. In response to his protests, I reminded him that losing his break was a consequence for his misbehavior ... not mine. Other students stood by, trying to help him understand. At last, he sat at his desk, opened the book, and in answer to my question, told me that he had been wrong to disrupt class. Even though he was probably going through the motions to please me and get to his break, I hope that one day the meaning will sink in - "For what a man reaps, that will he sow."

Sarah and I went to the market after school. We bought some scarves, then I wandered around the market trying to pick up some supplies for an art project I'd like to attempt with the girls at the orphanage. When I got home, I baked two loaves of zucchini bread (which reminded me of our neighbor back home who made bread out of Dad's extra large zucchini clubs and always shared with us.) I also baked a cake (box mix from Erbil) for tomorrow night's party.

A little before 4pm, the Mareen crew headed off for Andy and Lisa's, stopping at Holland and a bakery on the way. The guys took the kids to the living room while the ladies had some girl time in the kitchen. We baked brownies (and ate batter), then got ready for dinner. Lisa made pot roast (with coke in the gravy, which was DELICIOUS), Mary made yummy garlic bread, and for dessert we had ice cream that Sarah brought for the brownies. WHERE we ate was the best part ... Lisa remembered that I enjoyed sitting around a dinner table (one of our meals in the Spring at Dan and Julie's was such a happy time). They set up their table (we normally eat on the cushions) and decorated it with Thanksgiving decor that Lisa's mom recently sent them. Ironically, the tablecloth was the same one my family had at their Thanksgiving this year!

We ate, took silly pictures and laughed harder than we have in a long time. With dessert, the team had me open up their gifts. All of the gifts were REALLY thoughtful. I was over-abundantly showered with love and kindness. (I'll post the team pics later...)

Artwork from Andy and Lisa with homemade cards, a mug and jewelry from John and Mary, and a coupon book from Sarah ... just a few of the many things they gave me!

When we got home, Sarah finished packing and got everything ready to go for tomorrow. I went to bed feeling loved and even a bit spoiled!

December 2nd and 3rd: Recovery from a Cold

Sunday, December 2nd:Still not feeling very good this morning. I was pretty worn out by the time I got to school, but a group of girls showering me with "Good Mornings" and "Love you, Miss" helped me feel re-energized for the day. My students could tell I wasn't feeling well and they tried to be considerate.

When I got home, I didn't feel like doing very much. I took a nap and read a lot. I've started another book by Amy Carmichael, "Things As They Are." It is deeply convicting and makes me realize the pettiness of my thoughts and concerns.

Just before 6pm, I finished the little bit of grading I had, and then Skyped with the family. They are all doing well. Mom pulled out luggage the other day for her trip. Jaden and Eithen scooped it up and went off to play. She came in and found them packing up their things. "Where are you going, Eithen?" He gave her a surprised look, as though she should know, "I-Rack with Sissy!"

We finished the Skype call a little earlier than usual, and I was in bed by 8pm!

Monday, December 3rd:
Woke up at 3am, not able to breathe through my nose. I fell asleep sometime after 4:30 and then got up at 5:30am. Still not feeling very well, but thankful for the strength God provides. A couple hard lessons, though 5B was surprisingly quiet and good today. I only have one or two boys now who are consistently disruptive in class. 5A was very disrespectful, almost refusing to listen to the lesson. I dismissed the "good" kids early, thanking them for honoring me with their attention, then made the others work on the lesson until the end of class. Several of them still refused to work on the problems and I gave them a longer assignment to complete by tomorrow. Some of the girls have been passing notes in class and the notes are filled with unkind words about each other. I talked to them after school today and reminded them that we are to be kind to others even when they are not kind to us. I keep running into this theme and know there are areas in my life where I need to apply it. One girl persisted, "But she ..." I told her that God looks at OUR hearts and we aren't responsible to change the other person. We are simply to do what God requires of us, even when that means forgive them. "But Miss, I CAN'T forgive her!" I encouraged her that it is impossible for us - I struggle with it too - but we can ask God for hearts to forgive.

6B and 6A were pretty good. They can get pretty talkative at times. One of my students (the one who had to repeat this year) has started to show disrespectful behavior towards me in class. I wrote him a note last week and he said he would change. Today he started to throw a little tantrum when I made him work through a problem (and it was keeping him from his break). Thankfully, he stopped, took a deep breath and said, "Okay, Miss, I'll try." I helped him through the problem, making it a little less painful and sent him on his way. It is encouraging to see students fighting their natural tendencies. I think he is used to getting his way, and if he doesn't, he just forces his way right on through. I make sure he knows that this won't work in my class, but keep the reins loose, hoping to bring him in with love and patience in the end.

After school, I walked home with a clear blue sky overhead and the sun shining all around. My mind wandered to thoughts of infinity. God demonstrates His infinite love and patience with me every day. There are an infinite number of things that may arise in the day, but He controls them all. There are infinite things I do not understand about God, but He continues to grow me and allows me to teach others. My students have an infinite number of complexities that I certainly can not know, but that God knows and guides me in. I enjoyed the walk in the sunshine, but was thankful when I reached home and could snuggle up in bed. I rested and read until team time, which was at John and Mary's. We went through 1 John (which not surprisingly dealt with loving others). We spent some time looking at what it means "not through word and tongue, but in deed and in truth." This went with a passage in 1 Peter that I read in the afternoon. It talks about having compassion on one another, being "pitiful and courteous." When I looked up the definition of these words, the dictionary said that pitiful means "compassionate" and that "courteous" comes from the Middle English, "having manners fit for a royal court." This made more sense when I realized that we are a "royal priesthood." Our manners towards one another ought to reflect our lineage in Christ. Love, honesty, faithfulness ... the fruit of the Spirit that I see lacking in me. John highlighted the verse, "and we shall be like Him when we see Him as He is." This is our encouragement, this is what we long for.

After team time, we decided to try a new restaurant! It was near the Cali-Cafe restaurant we tried out a few weeks ago. It was a really nice place, family-friendly and they served a LOT of salads! We left full and satisfied, without having to "take a loan out of the bank" as John put it. Six adults and three kids ate for about $40 (and we got leftovers!)

While these past few day have been physically restful, they've been spiritually challenging and convicting. At least I am still growing! Thankful to crawl into bed again and praying I continue to feel a little better each day.

November 30th and December 1st: The Usual and the Commonplace

Friday, November 30th:

I forgot to mention that yesterday I successfully oiled the hinges on my bedroom door. I don't know if you can find WD-40 here or not, but I decided to use what I had on-hand: old-fashioned olive oil. It worked surprisingly well! My arrival into and departure from the rest of the house is no longer announced with loud squeaks and groans.

I woke up early this morning to talk to Han, but she was not feeling well...

Fellowship was an encouragement today. I never cease to be amazed that God's Word can apply to so many people in various walks of life. In Galatians 5, we looked at true freedom. It does not come through a list of can and can not's, but comes by walking in the Spirit. Paul is emphatic that the Galatians do not bind themselves in slavery to the flesh. For bondage to the flesh, even in religious guises, brings about jealousy, rivalry, dissension, etc. The evidences of walking in the Spirit are love, joy, peace, etc. We spent some time looking at Keller's definitions of the fruit of the Spirit:

Agape –  love

Definition: to serve a person for their good and intrinsic value, not for what the person brings you.

Opposite: fear, self-protection and abusing people.

Counterfeit: selfish affection. Rescuing someone but really rescuing self. Attracted not to a person, but to how this person's love makes you feel about yourself.

Chara – joy

Definition: Delight in God and his salvation for sheer beauty and worth of who He is.

Opposite: Hopelessness, despair.

Counterfeit: Elation that comes with blessings not the Blesser! Mood swings based on circumstances.

Irene – peace

Definition: Confidence and rest in the wisdom and sovereignty of God more than your own.

Opposite: Anxiety and worry

Counterfeit: Indifference, apathy, not caring about something. “I don’t care.”

Makrothumia – patience

Definition: Ability to take trouble (from others or life) without blowing. To suffer joyfully.

Opposite: Resentment toward God and others.

Counterfeit: Cynicism. Self-righteousness. “This is too small to be bothered about.”

Chrestotes – kindness

Definition: Practical kindness with vulnerability out of deep inner security.

Opposite: Envy. Unable to rejoice in other’s joy.

Counterfeit: Manipulative good deeds. “Right hand knowing what left hand is doing.” Self-congratulation and self-righteousness.

Agathosune – goodness (integrity)

Definition: Honesty, transparency. Being the same in one situation as another.

Opposite: Phoniness; hypocrisy.

Counterfeit: Truth without love. “Getting it off the chest” for your sake.

Pistis – faithfulness

Definition: Loyalty. Courage. To be principle-driven, committed, utterly reliable. True to one’s word.

Opposite: Opportunist. Fair-weather friend.

Counterfeit: Love without truth. Being loyal when you should be willing to confront or challenge.

Prautas – gentleness (humility)

Definition: Self-forgetfulness.

Opposite: Superiority: self-absorbed self-aggrandizement.

Counterfeit: Inferiority: self-absorbed, self-consciousness.

Egkrateia – self-control

Definition: Ability to choose the important thing over the urgent.

Opposite: A driven, impulsive, uncontrolled person.

Counterfeit: Willpower through pride or through more “functional” idols.

The definition of love and its opposite relate to the shame lecture. We abuse others to cover our shame. We look to them for approval and self-worth, or we criticize and condemn them so that we feel better about ourselves and can escape our shame. I realize that I am not a loving person. I prefer to protect myself, especially when love is hard and may not be received well by the other person.

I realize that I am also not faithful. I think that I am loyal, protecting the reputations of the ones I love, but I am not always willing to confront when I ought to in order to be loving. The counterfeits to the fruit of the Spirit were revealing. It is easy to be deceived by traits that seem to be "as good as" the fruit of the Spirit, but are not true in their motives.

After fellowship, I went to lunch with a couple expats at the house of a local friend, B. We just met for the first time the other day, but she was kind enough to include me in her invitation. I enjoyed listening to B talk about her life. She has had some interesting experiences. Around 3, I excused myself so I could meet up with some of the expat girls to go on a hike. We went up the flag mountain to see a beautiful sunset and view of the city.

Our apartment is in the middle-right, a little pink building:

A fiery sunset, reminding me of "the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved..."

When we got home, Sarah and I watched a movie. The rest of the evening was pretty quiet.

Saturday, December 1st:

The smell of kerosene seeping into my room subtly reminds me that winter is here.

I was able to talk to my sister, Hannah this morning. We were both snuggled up in bed, not feeling very well. I woke up with a sore throat and body aches, but thankfully nothing planned for the day. Hannah and I caught up on events. She and her husband are going to Germany soon, so it is hustle and bustle at their house, trying to get ready. She is memorizing Psalm 37 and told me it often reminds her of me. We shared what we've been learning ... how it is easy to fret and become angry when we haven't committed our way beforehand to the Lord. And once everything "goes wrong" or not as planned, it is easy to forget to re-commit our way to the Lord. The word, "commit" carries the connotation that whatever we are committing is being taken of in the hands of the One to whom we have committed it. Our thoughts and desires are known to God and He lovingly takes care of them, fine-tuning them so that they align with His Word.

For the rest of the day, I alternated between the chair and the bed, sometimes reading but mostly sleeping. I finished "Lotus Buds" by Amy Carmichael. Though written in a different setting at another time, it was convicting. She talks about the cost of walking in obedience to God. "What if it cost? Did not Calvary cost? Away with the cold, calculating love that talks to itself about cost! God give us a pure passion of love that knows nothing of hesitation and grudging, and measuring, nothing of compromise!" I lack this pure passion of love ... I would rather remember (and remind God) of the cost of following Him. A few pages later, Amy writes about the work we do in obedience to God, "it will only mean little humble everyday doings ... but if the call is a true call from Heaven, it will change to a song as she obeys; and through all the afterward of life, through all the loneliness that may come, through all the disillusions ... when the usual and commonplace are all about her - then and forever that song of the Lord will sing itself through the quiet places of her soul, and she will be sure."

Throughout the day, my teammates checked on me. Lisa called to get a how-have-things-really-been-going-update. Sarah offered to run to the store. Mary checked to see if there was anything she could do for me and gave me the rest of the turkey, vegetable soup for dinner. Despite the achy joints and scratchy throat, I felt blessed. As I get ready to sleep again, I am thankful that I don't have to walk in bondage to the flesh. The filth of slavery is all around, but I have been set free that I might walk in the Spirit. This path may lead through the usual and the commonplace - a sore throat, another day of school - but with it comes a clear, deep song. May God grant me this song, void of murmuring, full of quiet peace and assurance.