June 2nd through 6th: Post #200 Last Moments

This will be my last post for the 2012-2013 school year! It also happens to be post #200 since starting this blog.

The last few days have been filled with extremes. From packing to saying goodbyes, from creating fond memories to leaving behind old ones, from things going exactly as planned to everything falling apart ... my journey is ending much the way it started with a realization of my own weaknesses and my absolute dependence upon a great and mighty God.

PACKING: Never a fun task, I always end up loathing the piles of things that remind (and surprise) me how much I've accumulated in such a short period of time. With it comes a sense of the temporary ... in one way, the "nester" in me ("Helen" means "nest" in Kurdish) longs for permanence and a place to call home, but in a better way, moving forces me to focus on eternity, reminding me that I am but a "stranger and an exile, a sojourner" here. In the end, I fit all of my things into six gray boxes and two checked bags. The boxes will stay here, with Andy and Lisa, for my anticipated return in Fall 2014. The rest of my apartment was moved to John and Mary's where next year's SGI teachers will pick it up and move it to their new home (TBD).

SAYING GOODBYES: Each day, I've visited neighbors, local friends, and expats to say goodbye. Sometimes we've had deep conversations, while at other times, the goodbyes seemed too brief for the things that wanted to be said. With some of the goodbyes, came the realization that I may never see that person again; while other goodbyes lingered on as I continued to "run in" to that person again and again and will hopefully see them when I come back.

FOND MEMORIES & OLD MEMORIES: Reminders of the the last year and a half came flooding back as I packed up keepsakes (a fake rose from Valentine's Day, a bowl from Istanbul, a note from a student) and visited with friends I met last Spring (my first Kurdish picnic with the orphanage, learning language with T, and growing close with teachers at the school).

During the last few days, I was able to experience some of my favorite times for the last time. H and I had one of our long talks over the Korean lunch she made me, and I read books with her son (the one I tutored in English last Spring). Lisa and I talked during the kids' quiet time ... we sat on the kitchen floor (somehow we always end up there) and shared our struggles over a homemade iced latte. I walked down to the corner market (saying goodbye in my mind) and bought some vegetables one last time. The neighbor kids shouted at me, "Hallo, hallo!" and I waved back at them. I took my last taxi ride, ate my last Kurdish meal ... these are a few of the memories I'll cherish about my time here.

In between reminders of the past, I had time to create some new memories as well. We played basketball the day before I left - a group of eight expats - having a good time being "us" and not worrying about the restrictions of guy-girl interactions. There were screens, elbows, and even some slapping. In fact, almost everyone came away with an injury ... I ended up with a black eye and a tender calf!

Zander and I had an ice cream date that same day. We went to a place that serves real ice cream (well more real than the kind we buy at the store here) in pink, green, yellow, and brown (you order by color, not by flavor). As we talked, I was reminded how much I'll miss him and how much he'll change by the time I see him next.

PLANS & FALLING APART: On our final move day, two members of Andy's basketball team, along with Andy and Adam, helped carry everything out of my apartment. They started at 9:30am and were done in just over a half hour! Everything was going smoothly, except that the same day, the parent of one of my students was supposed to come in the morning to remove the splits. He ended up being my big "wrinkle" for the day. After arriving late, he looked at the rooms for no more than a minute and told me he would come back, "At 5pm ... or maybe 6." I waited at Andy and Lisa's (postponing our last dinner together) until he finally called at 6:30pm. Thankfully it didn't take too long and in the end, Andy, Lisa, Adam and I still had a fun dinner together and stayed up late snacking and hanging out.

The next day Lisa and I were enjoying our time together and once again the morning was off to a good start. I'd gotten up early to make omelets for breakfast, and Andy and Adam had left for Zakho on time. At 11am, I went over to the apartment to try to pay the city electrical bill and meet with the property manager. I handed over the keys, and then he told me I needed to pay him another $500 for June's rent!!! John had talked to him before leaving, and told the property manager I wouldn't be coming in the fall. The manager told John that I wouldn't need to pay anymore and could leave when I needed to. After we went around with "He said..." "You said..." for a couple of minutes, the property manager called a teacher at the school to help us figure things out. The teacher had left his phone at home, so we drove down to CSM. The teacher, manager, and I went around again and again and again. The property manager finally explained that he didn't know when I'd leave and had told John there wouldn't be any problems. When he talked to the owner, the owner told him that he'd still owe rent for June. The manager paid it, and was now expecting me to pay him. Long story short, I taxied back to Andy and Lisa's (after another set of goodbyes) disappointed, but aware that in the midst of the unexpected, I needed to be depend once more on God and not on my own strength.

All in all, my last few days have been the perfect mirror of the last year and a half. I've made a lot of mistakes - from spilling an entire glass of juice all over the floor as we sat in the market to hitting my head on the ceiling fan as I jumped up to look on top of the wardrobe to leaving the door unlocked ... in the midst of all of them, I've been able to see God at work, carrying me through the difficulties and glorying Himself.

As I transition back to the States, I pray that He'll help me deal with the emotions I've continued to push aside and give me the ability to process the things I've learned during my time here. Leaving isn't easy (the tears keep welling up), but I want to go home, fully engaged where God wants me and thankful for the time He gave me here. Thanks for following me along this journey! I'll be back soon, updating you on the things I'm learning in the States and filling you in on what it's like to be uprooted once again!

May 31st and June 1st: Fellowship, TX Chicken, and Pepperoni Pizza

Friday, May 31st:

This morning I went to fellowship ... and was overwhelmed as they showered me with cards, prayers, and kind words. Tears welled up as I realized that this would be my last time with my brothers and sisters here. Even if I should come back, some of them will not be returning then, the kids will have grown, and the group just won't be the same. I have been very blessed by their encouragement and support ... though we all do different things, we have a common purpose that unites us in a way I've never experienced before. I hope that the things I've learned with this group will help me become a better part of a community back home.

After our study time, we shared a light lunch together. My throat's been swollen and hurt more today than it has. I wasn't able to talk much, but enjoyed sharing everyone's company. After the others left, I stayed and visited with "Julie" ... our last time together. As always, she put everything aside to sit and talk with me even though their family was going on a visit later that evening. Around 5pm, they dropped me off at Texas Chicken where I met up with students from 6A. The restaurant offers free wifi, so my students spent most of the time on their iPads, tablets, and smart phones. If you can't beat 'em, you might as well join them! I pulled out my iPad and asked them "teacher-y" questions (what are you doing this summer? what will you do after you finish school? what are your hopes and dreams?) in between status posts on Facebook. :)

With 6A:

Andy, Lisa, and Co. came and the kids made all over Zephie. We had a nice time together ... I hope it encouraged my kids to keep in touch over the next year. One of my students gave me a ride home ... I wasn't feeling well and thankful to go to bed early.

Saturday, June 1st:

Even though I was in bed by 9pm, a mosquito woke me up a couple hours later! So frustrating to be woken up by a buzzing noise in your ear! It took me awhile to fall asleep ... suffering from bites all over my arms and face.

When I got up in the morning, I went over to the Nelson's kitchen and made some pizza dough for tonight. I also roasted up some extra veggies that I had. Spent the rest of the morning/afternoon packing up boxes and cleaning up. There's only so much I can pack up at a time, so it seems to drag on and on, but emotionally I don't think I would be able to do much more anyway. Hopefully when Tuesday/Wednesday comes around I'll be as ready as I can be for the final move.

At 5, Andy and Lisa picked me up on their way home from the market. We went back to their place and made pizzas for dinner (using pepperoni that Sarah sent me)! So yummy! The guys went to play some basketball around 8:30. Lisa and I hung out, organized the art area and talked until the guys got back. She drove me home and then I went to bed a little before midnight. Now that there's no school, my nights are getting later and later!

As I was getting ready for bed, I spotted a lizard in the bathroom! Yikes! Decided to brush my teeth in the kitchen and deal with the lizard later...

May 29th and 30th: Goodbyes at Dream City

Wednesday, May 29th:

My back was hurting so much last night that I didn't sleep well at all. I was still awake when the call to prayer sounded at 3:30am, and decided not to go to school as I'd originally planned. I did laundry in the morning, then went to Andy and Lisa's for a Mexican lunch.  Andy worked on my back afterwards. I stayed at their house until our Skype call and colored Lisa's hair in the meantime. After our Skype call, Lisa drove me home.

Thursday, May 30th:

Thankful for a better night's rest. I went to school this morning ... the kids were taking their Komality (Kurdish history) final, so I wasn't able to help with grading, but I helped a couple teachers write report cards, then handed out certificates and prizes to my 6th graders. The 6th graders invited me to Dream City tonight and Texas Chicken tomorrow, so we postponed goodbyes until then.

I said goodbye to most of the teachers and left around 11am. I went over to Andy and Lisa's to drop something off and ended up spending the whole afternoon there. Zander opened up his birthday gift from me (Legos and a Hot Wheels) and we spent some time building.

Around 6pm, I left for Dream City. We had a good time, and I went on all the crazy rides with my kids!

Here I am with 6B (some of my students from 6A came too, but they stayed in two separate groups, so I ad to jump back and forth between them):

This ride is called the disco ... everyone sits on the outside edge, getting flung around as the stage spins and gyrates up and down. Sometimes kids will stand up in the middle (like the boy here) staying focused on a point in the distance so they don't fall down and end up crashing into the side. (Another boy was in the middle and he fell into me ... ouch!)

We went into the "cinema" for a 3D movie. It was a short ride through prehistoric times (not really a thriller, and my kids talked through the entire thing.) 

This is the Crazy Dance (John's favorite ... not really). As it spins around, the arms fly up and down and the bucket seats spin around too. The music is deafening, especially when you are on the ride. I watched my students the first time, and then they dragged me into going the second time. A couple of my students couldn't go on ... they said it makes them "faint and then get sick" which I can understand why! I was pretty dizzy afterwards.

Some of my fifth grade boys were there and came running up to greet me. It was fun to spend time with everyone and celebrate the last day of school with them. As I was getting ready to leave, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I dug around in my purse and realized I didn't have my keys! I hadn't been home all day and didn't even think of it until then. Figuring I left them at the school, I called the curriculum coordinator and he said someone would meet there. I tried to catch a taxi (which was difficult since women don't do anything alone here, especially at night), but thankfully one of my students was able to give me a ride. The guard was waiting for me when I arrived and I hurried inside, apologizing the entire time. I went into the teacher room and found the keys right where I left them ... hanging from my locker.

I taxied home, grabbed some eggs from the corner market and then went over to John and Mary's to use their kitchen (all of our kitchen things are packed away, including the stove). I made cookies for fellowship, finishing them a little after 11pm. Reflecting on the day, I was thankful to realize how much God has changed me during my time here. I didn't feel great about leaving my keys, especially since I had to inconvenience so many people, but I didn't freak out either. I knew that God could have reminded me to get the keys earlier in the day, and that fact that I didn't remember until 9pm was still under His control. As we studied in 1 Peter ... this trial was brought so that I could overcome in it, not to make me feel like a complete failure. Instead of going through the what-ifs, trying to figure how I could've avoided this situation, I tried to focus on glorifying God through it. It was encouraging to see God provide in ways that I wouldn't normally experience if I hadn't forgotten my keys in the first place.

On the other hand, I still felt bad that people had to go out of their way to help me. I prayed about it, and before I went to bed, God answered my prayer! I had several reassurances (via email and phone) that those people were happy to help and weren't resentful of my absent-mindedness.

May 27th and 28th: Birthday at the Waterpark and Second Goodbyes

Monday, May 27th:

My internal clock went off at 5am and then "snoozed" for every hour after that, checking the clock at 6, then 7, and finally getting up a little after 8. Hannah and I had breakfast together and then I walked over to the house where Bishop's spent the night and we drove to Aqua Tarin, a water park. It is hard to believe that something like this even exists here, so I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. The guys were already there, and Zander was having the time of his life!

Lisa and Zephie in front of the kids' pool ... lots of fun things to do there!

Team pic! (and yes, we wore yoga pants and long t-shirts into the pool ... there were female guards in the locker rooms to make sure our outfits met the dress code!)

Lisa and I went duo most of the time ... we screamed and laughed until we couldn't breathe!

Zander enjoyed going down his own slides ... very slowly of course!

After the waterpark, we went home and showered, then met up at the park to finish Zander's special day with pizza and ice cream.

Zander's 4!

Hannah and I didn't have any ice cream ... instead we borrowed a car and went out for some girl time! We hit up Burger Queen for blizzards and enjoyed talking about the things God has been teaching us over the past couple years. It is amazing how well we have connected! I thank God for allowing these last two months to be so stress-free, providing comfort and encouragement through my friend and roommate.

Tuesday, May 28th:

This morning we went to Second Cup for coffees and one last team moment with Hannah. Around 12:30, she taxied to a friend's house for lunch and we grabbed lunch at Steak Escape. I think I will miss how much I enjoy the little things because I live here. In America, variety and flavor are everyday fare ... but here it is definitely worth saving up for!

We drove back to Duhok after lunch and arrived close to 3:30pm. I went out to coffee with a friend, then unpacked my bags and got settled back in to the apartment (feeling very much alone without neighbors or a roommate...)

May 25th and 26th: First of the Goodbyes

Saturday, May 25th:

Lisa, Hannah and I went to school this morning. Hannah gave her final while Lisa and I proctored classes. We stayed after and helped grade, finishing around 2pm. Hannah and I came back to the apartment and packed up the last of the boxes. At 4:30, Andy and Lisa came over and helped us move the bigger pieces of furniture over to John and Mary's. Afterwards we went to dinner at Big Chef, then back to Andy and Lisa's for ice cream bars. The skies started to look a little stormy, so Andy drove us home ... and just in time too. No sooner than we were home and it started pouring rain.

Hannah and I decided to spend our last night bonding ... the electricity flickered as we sat on the cold tile floor and created a playlist for our roadtrip tomorrow. I've very much enjoyed having Hannah as a roommate and will miss her terribly.

Sunday, May 26th:

Went to school again. Mary gave her final today and John brought Henry to say goodbye to everyone. Before their final started, I gave my fifth graders certificates for completing every homework assignment in phase 3 and 4. I also told those who had reached their goals to see me after their final so I could give them a prize. As they met me below, I let them select a prize from a box of things that Mom brought with her from America. The 2nd and 3rd graders kept peering into the box and asking if they could take a prize ... it was a good opportunity to explain what it meant to make a goal and meet it. My students were thrilled to be rewarded for their hard work this year. One student's face in particular will stay in my memory. At the beginning of the year, we had a lot of problems mostly because his English comprehension wasn't very good. He is a bright student, but would talk in class and when I would write his name on the board, he would get up and argue with me. We have worked together throughout the year, which sometimes meant explaining what he had done wrong after class and other times enforcing the consequences even if it meant losing both breaks. Things were getting better, but a couple weeks ago he really started acting up again. For a few days I tried different things, then finally took him aside after class and asked him what I needed to do to help him improve his behavior. He wasn't sure how to answer, but his behavior improved significantly after that. I was pleased to reward him for reaching his goal of a 80% for the year. He couldn't believe he was getting a prize and after taking it, was very grateful, even coming back a few times to say "thank you," and "hi, Miss" and probably check to see if I really meant to give it to him. :)

Around 1pm, the Bishop's picked all of us up and we left for Erbil. It was a fun roadtrip that ended too quickly! After dropping off luggage, we went out to dinner at the mall. Perhaps not a big deal in America, but here, it is the place where we can choose from Chinese, Indian, and real burgers. A mini food paradise! We ate, then went to the kids' play area to celebrate Zander's birthday (#4). Henry and I rode on the little train, which he thought was a blast!

Zander-man drinking pop for his birthday!

One last team pic...

When we got back to our teammates' house, the girls went to Majesty Market where you can buy cake mix and candy bars from America, chips and cookies from the U.K. and all kinds of things we hardly ever see in Duhok. Hannah and I stayed up with John until it was time for them to go to the airport at 2am. We chatted, snacked, and played 4 Pics - 1 Word on the iPad. I was bleary-eyed, but glad I could say goodbye one last time. We will see each other at the end of June for our company's orientation, so it was goodbye for just a little while. (I will actually see them again before I see my family!)

Glad to stumble into bed...

May 23rd and 24th: Final Exam, Caribbean Party and a Look at Identity

Thursday, May 23rd:

Today was the final exam for math. Everything went smoothly ... most of the kids said that the test was easy (which it should've been if they studied their review sheet). A couple kids stayed right until the end, but not because it was difficult. I started in 5B, reading the questions aloud, then went to my other three classes. As time was finishing, I went back to 5B and found one of my students crying. He doesn't understand English very well and struggles socially. Throughout the year I've made sure to help him as much as possible, working with his mom too who is very supportive and teaches him at home. I confess that I forgot how much he would need help reading the questions ... after drying up his tears, I helped him through the last couple problems and then the test was finished.

After I picked up the exams from the principal, who counts the tests and signs for them, I started grading. A couple teachers offered to help and I gave them the True/False, Multiple Choice, and Matching sections. They were the same teachers who helped me during the midterms, so it was easy for us to work out an efficient system to get everything graded. After they finished their sections, I graded the solving section and totaled up the scores. They checked the scores with a calculator and we were done by 2pm. I spent the next hour helping other teachers (which included signing papers for John who couldn't really write with his fingers taped together) until all the grades were submitted to the c.c. He gave John and I a ride home. After Hannah and I filled each other in on our day, I scrambled to get ready as we left for a "Caribbean" party at the Bishop's! It was our last big team bash before Hannah, John, and Mary head off for the States. We took the party to the roof where the Bishop's grilled beef and chicken skewers and served tropical drinks. The kids splashed in the pool and we lounged around...

Fun team pics...

Zephie's lookin' good:

Once we'd cleaned up dinner and the kids were in bed, we played a geography trivia game and the name game. Girls totally beat the boys! After it was dark, Andy set up a projector on the roof and we started a late night movie. The mosquitoes were pretty bad though, so we moved inside.

Popcorn, Girl Scout Cookies, Pineapple Upside-Down Cake ... our team knows how to eat it up! The movie finished around 2am and Andy and Lisa drove us home (while Adam stayed with the kids). Definitely a night to remember!!!

Friday, May 24th:

It was hard to get up this morning, but I wanted to go to fellowship and see everyone again. The lesson in 1 Peter was really encouraging as we continue to discuss what it means to be in Christ and how this identity shapes our conduct (rather than focusing on our conduct to shape who we are). In a world where appearances are everything, and everything is shameful - from putting on chapstick in public to laughing out-loud - it is good to remember that we are well-beloved, we are complete in Christ. His gain is our gain. We looked at the way people around us invest so much of themselves in football (Are you for Barcelona or Real Madrid?) because this gives them a sense of identity. They can associate with something outside themselves ... when their team wins, they feel a measure of personal glory for themselves. As Christians, our end is to glorify God. When He is glorified, we ought to be so closely identified with Him that we sense this glory ourselves.

Another point that was brought up is the fact that God looks on us as we are meant to be. It is easy to focus on our weaknesses and short-comings and feel that somehow we have failed. In reality, God is glorified in our lives and sees us as completely perfect in His Son. An analogy was given - after struggling with a certain employee, a fellow expat realized that the characteristics that cause so many problems (independence, ingenuity, efficiency) are the traits that will make this employee the manager of the company someday. When he told this to the employee, the employee was dumb-founded and went back to his work with a different attitude. We are like this employee. It is easy to think that no one appreciates who we are, that who we are only causes us grief, and that we are relegated to the tasks no one else can/will do, but in God's eyes we have a place of honor. He looks on us as sons and daughters, people of value and worth. And the things He places in my life are to help me "reach my potential." God brings trials and temptations into our lives so that we can become what He intends us to be, so that we can overcome. How we come through the trial is not up to us because we are assured the victory in Christ. Christ's victory on the cross is our victory. The glory He now has and will have, is ours too. As we live out our lives, wrapped up in His life, we continue the cycle, bringing glory to Him. Someday, whether it is acknowledged here or not, "every knee will bow and every tongue confess" and all will "glorify God."

As a self-perfecter, I need to be reminded of this (often) as my tendency is to focus on what I am not, rather than on what I am going to be (and already am in God's eyes). I know what I should be, but I constantly feel the burden to get there myself. And when I see the flesh that still lies in me, I'm depressed and discouraged ... I must not have done enough; I must not have come through that lesson; I won't ever be enough. But when my eyes are fixed on God's glory and the confidence that my gain is found in His gain and in His glory, then I don't need to fear my failings.

I stayed afterwards and chatted with everyone over snacks. A couple of the girls and I taxied together (I dropped them off and went on home). I took a long nap, and then the Nelson's, Hannah and I went to Texas Chicken for dinner. After Henry went to bed, Hannah and I went over to the Nelson's for games.

May 21st and 22nd: Hot, Hot, Hot

Tuesday, May 21st:

Today was our unexpected day off of school. I spent most of the morning packing boxes ... the hardest part is deciding what will stay and what will come back with me. In the afternoon, Hannah and I made a chicken, bacon, bleu cheese pizza. Since there was extra pizza dough, we also made some pizza pockets for a meal later this week when things are busy (and too hot to cook). The weather has been heating up, and with the oven on, our kitchen was stifling by the time we finished!

Hannah made a garlic dip, so I cooked up some tortillas that we fried up to go with the dip. After our yummy pizza meal, we went over to John and Mary's for games and garlic dip. Our mouths were hot by the time we finished there! :)

Wednesday, May 22nd:

This morning, John went to play basketball with the expats and ended up dislocating his finger! Ouch! Thankfully Andy was there and put it back in place...

After lunch, I walked down to the market (it was definitely warm/hot) to exchange money and pick up groceries. When I got back, I went on a couple of visits. My first visit was to see my friend T (the one who helped me connect with the orphanage.) She is working for a different organization now. Her organization partners with the government to create parent/teacher/student groups that address the needs of the local public school within various neighborhoods. It is a lot of work, but allows her to be creative and is in a field she enjoys. It was good to see her again. As I met her co-workers (some of them are Americans helping with the Syrian refugee camp), she introduced me as her "best friend in Duhok." That really broke my heart ... she has said it before, but I know her so little. And now I am leaving...

After an hour visit, I went over to H's house (her son goes to CSM and she has been such an encouragement to me). We had a good two-hour visit. It will be hard saying goodbye to her and her family.

From there I went to the orphanage. The girls were really happy to see me (the last few times I've gone by they have been away). We sat in their room and talked, then they took me out to the garden...

We played on the swing...

And they showed me some frogs that were hopping all over the place:

I stayed there for about two hours, then walked back home. Everyone had met up for dinner (they saved me some) and then we had our Skype call. Possible changes coming up, but we'll have to wait a couple weeks to see what really happens. Hannah and I came back to journal, then I crashed for the evening.

May 19th and 20th: I'm Wishing I Could Show You the World Once Upon a Dream

Sunday, May 19th:

Today was the first review day. I gave the students a two-page worksheet before the weekend; today, we worked through page one. I was pretty strict with the kids, since these last days can tend to be unproductive if the students think they can get out of doing any work with their antics. If they weren't paying attention, I sent them outside after their first warning. It was hard work to stay on top of behavior, but I was able to get all of my classes through the first page. When I got home, I was exhausted. I'm not sure if it was the late nights over the weekend or being sick last week or so much classroom management or a combination of all three, but I could hardly walk home. I took a long nap, then went to bed early after my Skype call.

Monday, May 20th:

A lot of ups and downs today, but when it was all said and done, a good day. I finished page 2 in all of my classes. In 5A, two of the girls weren't in class when I arrived (they were complaining to the principal), and a third stormed out of the room when one of the boys bounced his soccer ball on the desk and it hit her on the face accidentally. I still can't put it into words, but I was really affected by her attitude. I pitied her that her immediate reaction was a desire for revenge, but I also felt powerless, unable to show her that exacting "justice" wasn't the solution (and hadn't we just gone over verse after verse, reminding us to "love others as ourself" and "love covers sin"?) After the boys were called to the principal office in their turn (and one returned in tears), I stopped our review to encourage them to stand up against those who would manipulate and threaten in order to gain. So often I have seen that class bend and sway to those girls' whims just because they are afraid of their "power." I reminded them that a football team is stronger when it works together than when one player is allowed to take over. I hope they know I'm on their team ... otherwise I am afraid they will have a hard existence in Prissy's domain.

During my next class (6B) I found out there is no school tomorrow. I was heavily disappointed ... we were going to have a party where I would give out awards and prizes for goals met (and I was going to tell them that I won't be returning next year). The class was disappointed too (at least about missing the party) and we decided to have a party at Texas Chicken on the day finals ended. (They had actually already planned to meet there for their own class celebration. Even though they didn't want any teachers, they still invited me to join them!)

After school, I felt heavy-hearted. I was only able to feel a little bit better when John presented our topic for team time. We looked at the verse, "This is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous in our eyes." We took turns sharing what we have seen God do this year and marveled together at His wondrous works. I will try to share a few of them in my next update. It was a good reminder not to despair during these last few weeks left (which is easy to do as I try to make each moment count), but instead look at what God is doing and rejoice in the works of His hands. After team time, we went to Big Chef for dinner. The food was better than last time (and they've lowered their prices!) I had a really flavorful salad with steak strips on top ... not a treat we often have here!

On the way home in "Magnum" (the Bishop's white van), we spontaneously burst into song ... Disney theme songs that is. :) I can't think of another group of adults that can move seamlessly from "Snow White" to "Aladdin" to "Sleeping Beauty" ... definitely not something I get to enjoy with all of my friends! It was one of those memories I'll cherish, reminding me how much I'm going to miss this team!

May 17th and 18th: Packing and a Wedding Ceremony

Friday, May 17th:

Today was a fairly quiet day. Hannah made Orange Thyme Pancakes for breakfast, and we enjoyed a long conversation over coffee and yummy food. Afterwards we inventoried the house, deciding which items will travel down to Erbil with Hannah in the fall and which will stay here for the new family coming to Duhok. I spent the rest of the afternoon packing and then Hannah and I watched Schindler's List. I'd never seen it before. We picked it wanting a movie that we could cry over, but instead of crying I almost got sick ... we even had to pause at one point so I could breathe. The ending was a good reminder that when we finish our time on earth, we will know that things were left undone. But unlike Schindler, where the thought left him hopeless, our confidence is not in the works of our hands. Rather, we hope in the work Christ has accomplished for us. "He that glories, let him glory in the Lord."

Saturday, May 18th:

This morning Hannah and I had an Internet party at Andy and Lisa's. I responded to emails and worked on travel plans for this summer. A couple more details to iron out and then my three weeks of travel will be complete. On our way home, Hannah and I stopped at Holland Bazaar to pick up some groceries. I also went out later to Mazi since we couldn't find everything at Holland. (While at Mazi, I bought two Magnum Infinity bars for a special afternoon treat.)

For dinner, Hannah made curry with potatoes ... so, so good! We ate early so I could get ready to go to my friend's wedding ceremony. We arrived at a quarter to seven ... again, some of the first ones there. I wasn't sure what to expect, but the ceremony wasn't terribly long and we were able to take pictures with the bride and groom afterwards. We left around 8:30pm and dropped off another teacher who had joined us. I was thankful for a new experience and glad I could be there for my friend.

The aisle:

Three teachers:

The bride and groom walking down the aisle (they stopped and let us take pics - it was great!)

The ceremony (it was a small gathering, only relatives, so I was even more thankful to be invited!)

In the receiving line ... the two little girls wanted to give the bride a hug, but they were having a hard time getting close enough. It was cute to watch them stick together and keep trying!

With the bride and groom:

With N's mom (she is such a sweet lady and even though we can't talk much, we fill in the gaps with hugs and smiles):

With the bride (I'm going to miss her!)

May 15th and 16th: A Visit to the "Farm" and An Engagement Party

Wednesday, May 15th:

Lisa picked us up this morning ... she wasn't feeling well and as she described her symptoms (really sore muscles, tired, funny stomach), I realized I was probably coming down with something too. I thought that sitting on the bus in uncomfortable positions had hurt my muscles, and I decided not to work out the last two mornings. It was relieving to think that I might actually be sick and not just abnormally sore from a bus ride! By my last two classes, I had the rest of Lisa's symptoms and really wasn't feel well. Thankfully I had a laid-back day with the kids. They journaled about this year - what they learned, what their favorite verse was, how they've changed, etc. After school, Hannah and I taxied home and I took a long nap.

In the afternoon I got the few things done that I needed to for school. Despite my lack of energy, I made a necklace to go with the dress I am wearing to a friend's engagement party tomorrow ... just hope I am feeling better by then and not worse. In the evening we had a conference Skype call and then off to bed...

Thursday, May 16th:

Today was our last regular class day with the students. Sunday through Tuesday of next week will be review days and then they will take their finals. Each student wrote a thank-you letter to one of their teachers. They thanked them for the year and then told them what they liked about their class. I still have to read through all of them and give them to the teachers. One student remarked, "Miss, teachers here are not like teachers in America. They will just throw them." Another student chimed in, "Yes, Miss. Miss Lisa, she will take them to Mr. Andy and show him" [here he imitated her smiling over the letters] but here, we don't do that" [implying that Kurds aren't sentimental ... which I've noticed and is probably a result of having everything taken from them.] They wrote the letters anyway though and I let them play games when they finished.

In 5A, Prissy signed the bottom of her letter, "and Mr. we swear ... to be better in class next year" (apparently I'm not the only one they misbehave for). I read it and told Prissy that she shouldn't swear by God's name. "What do you mean, Miss?" (I know it was baffling to her because everyone here swears to emphasize their earnestness, which eventually means no one is in earnest at all. The verse "let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' 'no' becomes much more meaningful in that light.) I told Prissy that God says not to swear by His name. "Oh, thank you, Miss!" And as she erased the line, "I wouldn't have known." That small snippet of a statement, especially from someone who chooses sparingly when she will listen and follow what I have to say meant a great deal.

Hannah and I taxied home, eating a small lunch before Andy and Lisa picked us and we went back to the school. We were invited to a student's "farm" for the afternoon. Most of the teachers came. The "farm" ended up being a covered pavilion on the hillside - a gravel parking lot, swimming pool, grassy area, surrounded by cultivated land for vineyards and a garden.

A storm was brewing as we arrived. We listened as thunder rolled off the mountains behind us. Slight rain and the wind left us chilly during most of our time there. We ate a huge Kurdish lunch - lamb and rice, chicken and beef skewers, dolma, okra soup, bulgur. Everything was delicious! After lunch, we pulled away from the table and were served hot tea ... so nice on a cold day. After speeches were given on the part of the host and our principal, we were served fruit and then gathered up our things to go a little after 4pm.

When I got home, I laid down for a little bit, then got ready for my friend's engagement party. Another teacher from the school picked me up and we went to Dilshad Palace (a fancy hotel/restaurant). We arrived a little after eight and were some of the first ones there. The bride and groom didn't arrive until sometime after 9pm.

Waiting for the bride and groom to arrive:

The bride and groom arrived to music, dancing their way into the center of the room. The scarves have "coins" along the edges that jingled as they twirled them around.

Pretty soon a dancing line formed and we joined in:

It was fun to watch the various traditions. After the dancing, they had a reception line where we took pictures with them. 

With the bride:

(...and my homemade necklace to match my red and blue, second-hand shoes!)

When it came time to cut the cake, they did it with a long saber. After feeding each other a bite, they proceeded to give a bite to their mothers and fathers and immediate family members.

N giving a bite to her mother (this is the same friend whose village I visited back in August - her mother and I sat on the porch together in the early morning).

After the cake, they had a short ceremony (the actual wedding ceremony will take place on Saturday). More dancing afterwards as they brought out appetizers for us to snack on. Dinner was served at midnight, and we left shortly afterwards. I'm sure the party continued late into the night!

One last picture of the bride and groom before we left...

May 13th and 14th: Extra Credit and a Mexican Meal

Monday, May 13th:

Today was a good day and fairly uneventful. My fifth grade girls (Prissy & Co.) made friendship bracelets and gave me one! My classes either worked on the lesson or had quiet free time while I went around and gave them their phase averages. For being quiet, they were able to earn an extra credit project that I will assign tomorrow - I have at least 7 in each class that are failing, so I figured I should provide at least one more opportunity to improve their marks.

With everyone deep in grading, we didn't have team time today. Instead, we met up at 5:30 and went to dinner at Vin House. We had a good time together, then came back to submerge ourselves in stacks of homework again.

Tuesday, May 14th:

Today I assigned the extra project. It took me awhile to figure out how I would arrange it so I wouldn't have to grade extraneous projects (i.e. the students with a 69/70 wanting to get 100%). I decided to give the top students a worksheet worth up to five extra marks, which they could complete in pairs. The next tier could earn up to 10 extra marks by giving a group (2-3 students) presentation on one of the lessons from our book. They had to include a real-life example of the idea and answer the question, "Why is it important to understand this lesson?" The last group (those who are failing with less than a 50) could earn up to 15 extra marks by drawing a picture and/or telling a story that explained a math lesson. They had to complete this independently and part of their grade was neatness and creativity. I was pleasantly surprised by how well the project went over. All of the projects had to be completed by the end of class - I knew it was the right level of difficulty since most finished within the last five minutes of class. I was really happy to see that all of the students gave their best effort, especially those failing.

In the afternoon I graded the projects ... thankful to discover that it wasn't a laborious task. I enjoyed reading their stories and seeing how well they understood different concepts.

Hannah and I bought some beef the other day and turned it into Mexican fajitas. She cooked up beans and I made homemade tortillas ... definitely a taste of home! Spent the rest of the evening finishing my gradebooks.

May 11th and 12th: A Spelling Bee, a Talent Show, and a Happy Muhver's Day...

Saturday, May 11th:

Today was a long day, beginning at 4am! It was raining as I walked to school, and of course, being 5:30am, there was not a taxi in sight! Thankfully a taxi came by before too long. Some of the students were already there when I arrived. John followed shortly after. We rounded up the kids in the main building and I graded tests as we waited for more to arrive. Almost right on time, we loaded up the two buses. John went with the "quiet kids" and I went with the c.c. on the other bus (funny thing, most of the students on the "rowdy bus" were my kids!) The c.c. joked with me later that I made the wrong decision by riding with him on the noisy bus  - "You should've gone with Mr. John!"

The "quiet kid" bus :)

All of five minutes into our trek, the buses pulled over at the gas station. I hoped they were simply filling up, but as it turned out, one of the buses needed a new fuel injector! They promised it would take "only five minutes," but after replacing the part and driving another mile? we ended up waiting for them to bring a new bus. An hour and half after our original ETD, we were finally on our way out of Duhok. For most of the three hour trip, I reviewed spelling words with the kids. When I closed my eyes to try to rest a little, one of my fifth grade girls took off her cardigan and tucked it around me ... so sweet!

When we finally arrived in Erbil, they were waiting for us to begin. Our kids hurried onto the stage and the Spelling Bee was on! There were 10 students from each school per level. Our level one students (fifth and sixth graders) did pretty well ... we had one sixth grader make it to the top ten. Our level two students did much better. At the beginning there was some confusion about which list of words the students had studied, and our students were dropping like flies. When they finally got everything sorted out, our school competed only against the Sulymania school.

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G B-E-E

In the level two competition, one of our eighth graders took first place! All of our students ran up to congratulate her:

John was one of the judges:

After the spelling bee ended, we were served a nice lunch. We ate quickly so we could get our students ready for the talent show. John and I were both judges ... it was a hard job. Not only could I not be biased for our students, I couldn't really offer them any kind of encouragement. We were also expected to make short, insightful comments after every performance. By the time all seven judges had made comments, it was hard not to sound redundant. And by the time I'd come up with something to say for all nine contestants, my brain couldn't think of any more adjectives to fit the context. (Guess I should've watched more American Idol...)

At the judges' table, narrowing it down to the final three:

All the contestants waiting to hear who made it to the final round:

Unfortunately none of our kids made it to the top three, but they all did a great job and I was very proud of them. Our students were also the best behaved among the three school. When we got back on the bus at the end of the day, I thanked them for being great representatives of our school and told them I was thankful to be a teacher from Duhok.

We stopped at Burger Queen and PJ's Pizza on the way home, giving the kids a taste of "American" food that they can't get in Duhok. And then began the long drive home ... I was exhausted. I closed my eyes, pretending not to hear their loud whispers, "Miss, Miss, Miss ... are you awake?"

The bus ride home:

Two of my sixth graders who competed in the talent competition and did a great job!

When I got home (a little before 10pm), I jumped in the shower, then collapsed into bed.

Sunday, May 13th:

Getting out of bed this morning felt like torture. After my workout, I felt a little more alive and then had some coffee (bad idea, since it left me jittery the whole way to school). I finally calmed down once I got halfway through my first session. All four classes took an extra credit quiz that included math vocabulary and the daily verses. Several of the kids had all of the sentences memorized and didn't even need to look at their notes.

When we got home, I rested for about twenty minutes, then worked on grading until my Skype call at 5pm. I got to wish Mom a Happy Mother's Day! Hannah had come down for the weekend. Since they were going to her church for Mother's Day, which starts later and isn't as far away, we were able to Skype for almost two and a half hours! At one point, Eithen came bouncing up to the computer, "Happy Muhver's Day!" I asked Mom about it. She told me that they'd been downstairs when she told him to come up and talk to Sissy. "She's here?!" he asked excitedly. "No, but she's on the computer." "Oh ... well I will go say Happy Muhver's Day to her." :) A sweet thought to fall asleep to...

May 9th and 10th: Answers to Prayer and Early Motherhood

Thursday, May 9th:

It rained last night, which was a pleasant sound to fall asleep to. The morning arrived bright and cheerful, but around 11am, another summer rain came through. Thankfully it washed away the dust and pollen and left a refreshing feeling in the air. Perhaps more of the refreshment came as I saw God answer prayers today ... I knew this was going to be a busy week and wasn't looking forward to it. As I looked at my list this afternoon I realized that everything had been provided for.

I had mentioned to one of the teachers at school that we paid twice for last month's generator bill. He said he would look into it, and I let it go, not wanting to bother him further. Today, he pulled me aside in one of my classes and told me that he'd called the generator man and taken care of it. He asked for copies of the receipts (which I had) and told me that I would either get my money back or they would take it off the May bill. Hearing that was a huge relief.

I gave an extra credit test in all of my classes (meaning that if they get a good mark, it will replace their lowest test score). In sixth grade, one of my girls finished her test early. I was correcting 5th grade's quizzes and asked her if she'd like to help me. She jumped up eagerly and followed the instructions I gave her. As more students finished, they asked if they could help too. By the end of the class, all my grading for fifth grade was finished! They were excited to help and one student even commented, "Miss, how do you do all of that by yourself?" I felt very loved by their act of service towards me, and it made my heart happy to see their willingness to be helpful. (It also meant less work at home.)

About an hour after Hannah and I got home, I went out with one of my expat friends to the market. I introduced her to the bala (how can one's life be complete here without it?!) And we enjoyed an encouraging conversation as we sat in a cafe and sipped on some juice afterwards. I am more and more thankful for my relationships with the expat community ... there is a sense of how much we need each other in this "strange land," which helps me understand better what it means to be a "body." We taxied together and she dropped me off at the orphanage on the way home. As I walked up to the gate, the guard, who has come to recognize me, told me that the girls had gone to the zoo (we pieced that together in Kenglish) and Dream City. I asked him to tell them that I had been by, then started my walk home. Along the way I called up Lisa, and then decided I would stop in to see her. As usual, we got to talking and the next thing I knew, I was off to dinner with them. We went to Azadi Rest (where the girls took me on my birthday.) The food was good and in customary Kurdish style, we were served six salads before getting our meal. Fruit, baklava, and tea came at the end to top everything off.

After Andy and Lisa dropped me off at home, I stayed up late to work on grading, trying to prepare for the busy-ness of the weekend.

Friday, May 10th:

It was a good morning at fellowship. We are studying 1 Peter (which I read in my mind as "First Peter" while our British expat friends would say, "One Peter"). :) As we looked at "not being conformed to the passions of [our] former ignorance" I was convicted by my own desires to be conformed, to just "fit in." As our study continued, I was encouraged that the reason for this non-conformity must lie in our having "tasted and seen that the Lord is good." As we learn to delight in Lord, we will no longer desire to be conformed to this world, but to Him. I was encouraged because it is easy to stop at the command - "do not be conformed" - and forget the motive that drives us - "knowing that [we] were ransomed ... not with perishable things ... so that [our] faith and hope are in God." I don't follow my Lord with a begrudgingly obedient heart, but with a cheerful heart that overflows with joy and delight in Him. Instead of wallowing in my conviction and allowing shame to overtake me, I was led to ask God for a heart that desires Him above all else, that drinks in His delights and hungers for His righteousness.

After fellowship, the girls dropped me off at the soccer arena where our students were playing the final tournament of the soccer clinic. I missed the girls, but got to watch my fifth and sixth grade boys play.

Watching from the sidelines:

The trophies:

Closing ceremonies:

My time there wasn't all spectator fun though. During the game, I also supervised the students who stayed to watch ... at one point I ended up telling one of my fifth grade girls that I didn't want her sitting next to the ninth grade boys anymore. Apart from the difference in their ages - elementary vs. high school - her conduct (while mild compared to Western standards) was very culturally-inappropriate. She obeyed me, but when I came by later to give the same instructions to another student, she started asking why I was trying to "control her life." We weren't in school, didn't I know? I tried to logically explain that I was responsible for them since this was a school function, but she was determined to tell me that she was responsible for herself and her mother wouldn't care how she behaved. I explained that some of the other teachers had seen her behavior and as she was my student, I thought it best that I come talk to her. If anything happened, I would be the one taking responsibility for her actions. A couple other girls were taking her side, but surprisingly, one of my fifth grade boys spoke up. "Yes, everyone will talk about Miss and it will be her fault for what you are doing." Even though they weren't pleased by his response, the girls backed-off, recognizing that this had come from "one of their own."

Later on, I spoke with the ninth grade boys about their behavior, reminding them that if they thought of her as a little sister (which they were adamantly trying to tell me) then they would protect her reputation like an older brother. I think it surprises them when we uphold their cultural standards as they assume that coming from the West we will be less strict. I hope that in some way this encourages them not to rebel, but to approach Western culture thoughtfully, mindful of the positive values that come from their culture. Regardless of what I hope for them, my "stepping in" didn't sit well with my student and, at least in the moment, I felt like the mother of a teenager daughter. For the first time (but probably not the last), I heard these words directed at me, "You're ruining my life!" [I talked with her later and told her I stepped in because I cared enough to tell her the truth - "speak the truth in love." She told me she was mad at me, then came running up a minuter later to say, "I won't be mad on Sunday though, so tell me that you'll see me then." "Okay, see you on Sunday."]

After soccer, I came home and listened to Alistair Begg speak on 1 Peter, which was a further encouragement to seek the Lord. I tried to rest a little, then Hannah and I went over to John and Mary's for donuts and some hang-out time. We ended up watching some funny videos on YouTube. Laughter is really an amazing medicine! After we couldn't laugh anymore, Hannah and I went home. I spent the rest of the evening getting ready for tomorrow's trip to Erbil.