Tuesday, October 9th:
As we walked to school this morning, Sarah made the comment that this was the coldest day yet ... somehow "frostbite" even made it into the conversation :) It still gets pretty warm by the afternoon, but the early mornings and evenings are pleasant.
I had a much better day, even though 5B wasn't very good. "Pedro" is acting out again. It's amazing how much his misbehavior affects the class; it has made me more thankful for his one week of outstanding performance. I know that a large portion of the overall class behavior is my own attitude. I went to school feeling more encouraged about the day, but by the second class, I wasn't feeling very well. Thankfully it wasn't a "just get through the lesson" day, though I did leave school wondering how/why I'd regressed (or the class had regressed) to teaching for two minutes, disciplining a student, teaching for one minute, sending a student out of the class...
During the breaks I visited with some of the older students. It is nice to build relationships outside of the classroom setting and apart from the teacher-student roles. I remind them that they are setting the example for the younger students. And every so often, I ask one of them to speak to their younger brother (or sister) about behaving in class ... and it works!
At 1 pm, I walked to the market to T's office. She is the lady I met last year who introduced me to the orphanage. She works for an organization that protects the rights of local citizens. When I arrived, she told me that they were waiting for the supervising organization to come and make their monthly inspection. The visits are unannounced, so she wasn't exactly sure when they would arrive. I ended up waiting for two hours. We talked for a bit, then I graded papers in a separate room while they conducted a meeting with the supervisors. Close to 3:30 pm, T and I left the office to walk around the market. We bought shwarma to-go and ate them in a juice shop. I had "keis" juice (apricot). Afterwards, we visited some of the shops that belong to her relatives and stopped by the "bala" or second-hand market to buy T a new bag. By then it was close to 5:30 pm when we said our goodbyes. I was able to have a profitable conversation with T. I trust that the Lord will continue to provide opportunities for good discussions, especially as she has expressed that I am her only friend here. I need to pray for wisdom in this area. T is twice my age and I often feel that I do not have the knowledge or experience to challenge her with deeper thinking.
I came home and graded papers. God was good to me; the work was not as difficult as I'd expected. I had prayed that my time with T would honor Him ... in His goodness, He blessed me with a more relaxing evening than I'd planned. After I finished grading, Sarah and I ate popcorn and watched a movie. At 9 pm, I got to Skype with Dad. It was encouraging to talk to him. Despite our vast geographical difference, we seem to struggle with similar trials.
Wednesday, October 10th:
There was a mosquito in my room last night! I was up until 11 pm with the biting and buzzing, then again at 1 am, 3 am, and 5 am! I tried to pray, but was overwhelmed with the physical exhaustion. The alarm went off, already 5:30 am! I felt myself sinking into discouragement, but was determined not to get ready for school, until I'd sought the Lord earnestly for a better attitude and a desire to please Him first. He answered prayer! My reading took me to Psalm 50. As I read, I began to ask myself, "Who am I to demand anything of God? Do I believe that He is the God who 'called the earth from the rising of the sun' and has 'a fire that devours before Him?'" Humbled, I read verse 15. "Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify Me." This is the command of the God I serve. Today He will deliver me. Today He will cause me to glorify Him. Encouraging thought that this does not depend on my willingness, my health, or my attitude.
It was with a much lighter heart that I walked to school today. After my talk with Dad last night, I decided to change up my routine. Thankfully, I was able to start right away. A group of boys from 5B was hanging out in the garden before the bell rang. I walked up to them, "Cewani bashe!" (Good morning!) They shook my hand, eyeing me quizzically. Their faces relaxed as they realized I was just there to chit-chat. Eager to have my attention, they asked me questions and told me that in Kurdish, they say "charsham" (day four) instead of Wednesday.
When I walked into class, I wrote "Wonderful Wednesday" on the board and explained that my dad always tells my brother to have a wonderful Wednesday when he drops him off at school. I wanted to share that phrase with them, so they could have a wonderful Wednesday (or charsham gelleck hoshe) too! I handed out stickers to students who were working quietly and that seemed to keep them quiet until about the last 15 minutes of class. Sarah came in twice to check behavior and take students out of the class if needed. I didn't end up sending any of them out, but three of the boys may need it tomorrow.
5A can be emotionally difficult. They seem to have a lot of drama in that class. A boy made an inappropriate hand gesture behind my back that I happened to catch. One of the girls ended up crying. And half the class laughed at her for it! I took time at the end of the lesson to talk to individual students about their behavior. I tried to emphasize that God's command to love others more than ourselves is more important than math.
6B was really talkative, but I think they felt that I was in a better mood. One student commented, "Miss, you are happier today!" Of course they all wanted to know why this Wednesday was wonderful, and it took some time to explain that any day can be exciting!
During the break, I visited with one of the teachers who was "responsible" for the older grades during "garden". She taught me a little Kurdish and I told her about my weekend in Erbil. After she left for her class, I sat with some of my girls, eating "finger chips" and talking about the little things. Two girls insisted on giving me packs of chocolate biscuit-sticks. It was cute to watch them "argue" over whose were better. I enjoyed being around my students ... God gave me many reasons to be thankful for His mercies today.
6A has been an exceptionally good class. There are two students who can be disruptive, but the rest of the class has sat quietly, ignoring the distractions for the past two days! It's been fun to teach them and I hope I am getting to know them a little more.
After school, Sarah and I taxied home, then went to the corner store for fruit. I was able to listen to a sermon and take some time to think/meditate before we had to prep for our team meal. At 4:30 pm, we walked to A&L's with John and Mary. Lisa made an amazing stirfry with Teriyaki sauce. We had fruit salad on the side and for a special treat, Mary made homemade donuts! Mmmmm Good! A poor internet connection made for a short Skype call. We had more time to visit and talk about the plan for next week when Dave and Lisa will be here.
On another note, I have been missing home a lot lately. It is a slow emotional drain that I don't spend much time thinking about, but creeps up on me suddenly. There are the emails from home that remind me of all that I'm missing out on. I've missed the process of test-driving and buying a new van, going to Caleb's football games, camping out for battle of the bands with lemon meringue pie and hot chocolate, enjoying belly laughs with a house full of boys ... Lord willing, the boys' adoption will through at the end of the month. How I've thought about being there for them! It hurts to think of missing it ... Then there are the little things. Henry using the same sippy cup as Eithen ... the memories go back to Eithen at that age, my mind wanders through his first year with us, his second birthday, and then I stop suddenly, realizing that the next ten months will be blank. I won't remember what Eithen was like when he turned three - if he was reading words, or riding a two-wheeler, or singing songs. I focus on the present until I find myself playing Duplos with Zander just like I did with the brothers right before I left. The brothers and I built a huge staircase that bordered a house with tiny windows (much like a house in Duhok). Next thing I know, I'm watching "The Princess Bride" with Sarah and repeating all of the great movie lines that Hannah and I memorized. "Stop that rhyming now, I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?" The days move on, but every so often I am caught in the past and the longing to be back with my family. This email came from Mom just as I was finishing the blog:
Yesterday for nap Eithen wanted to bring his 'sissy book' (Guess How Much I Miss You) to nap. He wanted to "read" it to me, but after the first page of your voice, he got very serious. He turned to snuggle into me and made motions that I was to continue for him. When I turned the page he said, "where that big bear doe-ing?" "Why he over the water?" (the picture shows the bigger bear on the far side of the river and the baby is watching from the nearside.) I said, "Going to Iraq." "oh" E said, Then after a long pause..."dat me (the little bear) and dat sissy (big bear across the river). Then we finished the book and the last page the big bear and the little bear are back together and cuddling close. Eithen put me in the position of the big bear and made himself in the position of the baby bear and said, "dat me and sissy agether."
