March 26th:
When I woke up this morning I could feel the winds of change blowing across my face ... not really, it was probably just the wall heater, but around here, where everything changes, I wouldn't have been too far off to make that prediction. I had my early morning class today and everything went well. I am able to use the soccer clinic as an incentive for the students to work hard and stay on task. I told several of the boys that for every misbehavior in class, they would have to sit out one minute at soccer. This struck a cord with one of my most troublesome boys who LOVES soccer. He likes to speak to the other students in Kurdish so I won't understand. After losing three minutes of soccer, he changed his mind. I had a good day with him and he was even friendly towards me after class.
Walked home, thankful to be back with my students. Went to a market up the street to pick up ingredients for tonight's salad dressing. Groups of boys were gathered in front of different shops, hanging out after school (school is broken up into different sessions, so some students only attend 4 hours a day, 6 days a week). At times like this, I feel guilty for creating such havoc in the middle of their day I end up attracting so much notice as I simply walk along the sidewalk. I figure that at least 20,000 Duhokis have seen me, that leaves only 230,000 more to go!
One group of schoolgirls said hello to me as I worked my way to the store, then followed me along the sidewalk as I returned. They finally gathered up enough courage to ask me my name and I asked them their's, if they lived in the neighborhood and how old they were. Perhaps all the attention will at least provide an opportunity to develop relationships with children in my vicinity.
Dan called me to say that the curriculum coordinator needed to talk to me, so I walked back to school a little earlier than usual. It turns out that the 3rd and 4th grade math teacher is expecting triplets! Her friend came in to take over her classes, but it doesn't look like the new teacher will be able to cover the 4th grade material. After working out the schedules, I am now teaching 4th grade math and 3rd grade art. Ah! How things can change in a matter of minutes!
As I left school, some of the 7th and 8th grade girls that I've been getting to know from the soccer clinic came up and chatted with me. I didn't really have any way to get to know them before, so I am thankful that our interaction at soccer is spilling over into my time at school.
Came home and prepped the salad for our team dinner. Julie made lasagna and Mary made bread with garlic butter, so I made an Italian salad with "Olive Garden" dressing. While preparing it, I went to use some lemon juice that I had squeezed quite awhile ago. Without even thinking about how long it had been in there, I turned the lid on the top and BANG, it smashed into the palm of my hand. I was extremely thankful that it had been directed into my hand and not into my face! One of those moments that takes us by surprise and reminds us how much we depend on God and how faithful He is to direct our every footstep.
Our Italian meal was really good! We have so much fun just talking together that the time flies by and we are usually late for our Skype call. This week the call ended up being postponed until Wednesday. Over Lisa's coconut-chocolate-cookie bar dessert, we enjoyed worshiping together and talking about the hope we have in God. While sharing the hope God gave me to come here and leave everything behind, I realized just how much I miss Eithen. (He has been carrying my picture around with him at home and made me a play-doh heart the other day.)
Finally feeling the slightest bit of an emotion (in missing Eithen) was relieving. The last two weeks I have felt very listless spiritually. At times, I see that God is providing me a rest from all the spiritual labors we've had in the last month, at other times I am battling against the temptation to indulge in mental laziness. Just within the last few days I've felt a surge of emotions bottling up inside of me without any way to release them. Back home I might go golfing, get a massage or even go for a run, but none of those options exist here. I find myself relying solely on God. Talking with the team was helpful, but I keep praying that God will burst the floodgate of emotions or calm the stormy waves.
Being in this state reminds me that:
Without spiritual revelation, I understand nothing
Without the Holy Spirit, my prayers mean nothing
Without divinely-granted life, I can feel nothing
Without Christ, I am nothing.
This afternoon while reading a book on Jonathan Edwards - "Lover of God," I was convicted to pray that these words might also apply to me: "He viewed the Scripture as a living thing. It pulsed with life; it shone with beauty; it bore the glory of God." Though my emotions are inexplicable right now, God's Word does not change. I pray that like the mighty river, which, overtaking the stream, guides it at last into the vast expanse of the ocean, God's Word will overtake my life, governing my emotions, ruling my thoughts and moving me into the infinite goodness of my Heavenly Father.
March 27th:
Did not sleep well last night. At times I felt I couldn't breathe. Kept praying until peace finally came after midnight. Woke up feeling more encouraged. At 8, I went over to John and Mary's for French Toast - I haven't had French Toast in a really long time! Mmmmm... Good!
As I walked to school, there was a chill in the air and it definitely looked like rain. Tut, tut! The teachers are much friendlier with me - a funny incident in the teacher lounge today seemed to bring all the barriers down with one group of teachers and I finally felt included in their group.
At 9:15 I had my first math class with the rowdy group of 4th graders. It was definitely a challenge - in part because they are not very attentive and in part because I am teaching them in a way completely foreign to them. They are used to having the teacher stand at the front and write the answers to every question on the board. It was complete mayhem in the class as I tried to go through the material for two lessons (in preparation for the test originally scheduled for tomorrow). I started sending the noisiest students outside and told them I would not postpone the test if they were not going to listen. "But Miss!! Whaaatttt!" After I sent one student out of the room, he returned with the principal (Can you imagine that happening in the States?!) ... the principal told the students to sit down and be quiet, then proceeded to let each student give his/her side of the story (in Kurdish). Because I couldn't understand what they were telling him and wasn't able to give him my assessment of the situation (he doesn't understand very much English), the students definitely had the advantage. I stood silently, asking the Lord for favor. ("He is my defense, I shall not be moved.") I could generally follow what each student was saying, and felt that one or two said things in my favor. In the end, I think he told them to sit still and pay attention...
Most of the teachers select a "responsible" student who collects the homework during the day and has it ready for the teacher before class. The class begged me to pick a "responsible" student, so I asked them which student had told the principal the truth about what had happened. Most of the students had either complained to the principal or not said anything; in the end, it was one of the quietest girls who defended me to the principal (I never thought she liked me because I've told her repeatedly not to talk to her friend in class). I hope that being the "responsible" one is an encouraging reward for standing up for the truth even though it must have been difficult.
When the class ended, I told the students that I would give them an extra lesson if they stayed during their break. About ten students stayed and I was able to explain to them the importance of learning the math concepts, not just the right answers. We covered a lot of material in fifteen minutes and the students who came back at the end of the break were intrigued by what I was doing with the others. I am hopeful that I will be able to inspire them with a love for learning.
Moved on to my 3rd grade art class and had a good time. It was much easier as the routine is already fairly established. At 12:15 I had the other 4th grade math class. I felt that the lesson went more smoothly and I was able to lay out my expectations in advance, giving an overall idea of what I was trying to accomplish.
Walked home, went to the market with Stacy, then back to John and Mary's for spelling bee prep. There is going to be a spelling bee between all three schools, so John and Mary graciously opened up a practice session on Tuesdays for the 7th and 8th graders. The students were grateful for the help and were impressed that Mr. John would go to so much trouble to help them. What a great demonstration of the type of love we receive from God - exceeding our needs and expectations! I was able to hang out with them and enjoyed connecting students' names (that I hear about from the team) with their faces. Some of the girls from soccer were there, so I didn't feel too out-of-place.
John, Mary, and I went to the "Sheep" Restaurant afterwards for meat skewers. When we got home, I wrote a letter to the parents of my math students, outlining what their students should expect each day, what is required for good grades and how they can get additional help.
Ready to crash into bed...
