October 7th and 8th: Come to Me ... And I Will Give You Rest

Sunday, October 7th and Monday, October 8th:
I am combining the last two days, since they have just rolled into one long day. I've had a hard time physically. On the way to Erbil, I reached behind the seat to get something and scratched myself on a staple that was sticking out of the back of it! I think the scratch has gotten infected. I've been dousing it with peroxide and keeping neosporin on it pretty regularly. I also think I am fighting off a stomach bug. My face seems to be experiencing an allergic reaction (might be a result of the stomach bug). On top of all that, I've been extremely tired (barely able to keep my eyes open during Sunday's classes).

After "making it through my classes" (which is a terrible feeling since I usually LOVE teaching), I came home and took a nap on both days. I've finished just enough grading to get by. Last night (Sunday), Mary had us over for spaghetti, which was amazing. Just as we finished eating, a sound outside prompted us to leap up from our chairs and head for the windows. We moved up to the roof where Sarah and I danced in the RAIN! It was dirty, but we hope this means the beginning of Fall weather...

At 4pm today (Monday), we had our team devotional time. I was feeling better, which was an answer to prayer as I didn't want to drag down our time together. We read part of Jeremiah 10 and Colossians 3, then sang some hymns together. It was an encouraging time, especially as we shared prayer requests. I have been struggling with the silence that seems to drag on day after day. Trials are easier to bear when we see a loving Father behind them, but when He does not seem to answer, every day feels full of affliction. For the past week, Spurgeon has been talking about the love of God, His ability to fill us so that we can walk in His strength, His never-ending supply. My heart wants to know more of this, but it feels so empty. Physical struggles have only amplified my sense of weakness. Today I realized that instead of demanding spiritual growth, I need to wait on Him - "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Though He hasn't revealed anything life-changing in the past few days, I know He has provided just enough spiritual strength for each day's trials (and time to rest from them). My goal for this week: Remember His promises, see how He is providing, and be thankful that He is enough!

After team time, all of us went to dinner at a restaurant recommended by Andy and Lisa. It is similar to the "Sheep Restaurant" but it has an upper-level with high chairs for the babies. Enjoyed eating together, came home to finish a little schoolwork, then off to an early bedtime.

October 3rd and 4th: Ending Phase 1 with a Holiday

Wednesday, October 3rd:
Woke up a little after 4. I went back to sleep until 6, but not until after they finished the morning call to prayer (sometime after 4:45).

There was a nice breeze blowing as Mary, Sarah, and I walked to school. The curriculum coordinator came into my classes to get after the students who haven't turned in any homework. It is not the method I prefer, but some of the kids seem to need a third-party authority figure telling them that homework is important. As Mr. B walked in the room, several of the students had Coke cans on their desks. (I let them drink in class as long as they aren't disruptive.) Mr. B made each student on my "missing assignments" list stand up, then asked them why they hadn't completed their homework, "What are you here for? ... To drink Pepsi?" I could have laughed if I hadn't been so disappointed in my students. Mr. B was gracious enough to let me be the "good cop." He told me in front of the students that it would be fine with him if I gave them zeroes on all missing assignments, but gave me the option to accept assignments until the end of school that day. I told him I would like to let them have a little more time (I really just meekly nodded my head, afraid to say anything that might break the stern tenure of his lecture.) After he left, I told the students that when they get in trouble, I feel like I am in trouble too. I want them to do well, but I can't make them turn in their homework (though I'm sure many would appreciate it if I would just do their homework for them!) Several students piped up, "Miss, you DO help us! We just don't do the work." That was encouraging. I don't want them to think this is an "us versus them" situation. I hope they will see that I am there as their teacher and advocate.

Though the classes were a little chatty today, we made it through the lesson and I gave them their phase averages. Both 5th grade classes responded well to Mr. B's reprimand. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, I still had students who didn't turn in any of the assignments. I went to each class to make sure students who completed the assignments could turn them in.

I graded papers in the teacher room until school let out. It is fun to pick up on pieces of the teachers' conversations. They love answering questions and I am always able to learn a lot. Talked to a few of my students on the way out. I took a taxi to the chicken man at the corner of our street, so we could have a chicken for dinner tonight. After I got home and had a bite to eat, I shredded the chicken to help Sarah make a recipe she picked out - chicken tetrazzini. It got really hot in the kitchen with the stove and oven on! Squeezed in some grading during the half hour before our team meeting. At 5pm, we ate a delicious meal together. Sarah's main dish was a hit. Lisa made sauteed vegetables and garlic bread. For dessert Mary made All-American Apple Pie! We had a good Skype call, albeit short due to a late start. We had a fun time together as a team, teasing each other and breathing a unified sigh of relief as we anticipate a weekend away. We leave for Erbil tomorrow after school ... looking forward to American Burger, shopping, a possible coffee shop trip, and a fun roadtrip together.

After the Skype call, I went home and graded more papers. Finished off the gradebooks and sent them to Mr. B with a grateful heart. I've been praying a lot this week that I wouldn't get bogged down with all the grading that comes at the end of the phase. God blessed the work and it wasn't nearly as tiresome or lengthy as I thought it would be.

As I close this entry, the mosquito count is over 30 in the last 24 hours!

Thursday, October 4th:
It was muggy this morning as we walked to school. Lisa joined us since it is one of her days to teach art. She told us about her lesson for the day and the art project she worked on to prepare. Then Mary mentioned how she had watched the lecture she is reading to her class today (the videos are part of her curriculum, but there aren't any TVs in the classrooms yet). It was amusing to think of a snapshot featuring our lesson planning methods ... Lisa bent over an art project, Mary scribbling notes as she watches a lecture, Sarah reading a book and writing notes in the margin, me with an open math book on my lap researching learning styles on the computer.

Since phase grades were due today, I told my kids they got to spend their period giving me a grade! They filled out a teacher evaluation, marking "always," "sometimes," or "never" for statements like "Miss Helen comes to class prepared," "Miss Helen uses good examples." They also answered questions like, "what could Miss Helen do differently in class to make it better?" Though some of the students didn't really understand the purpose and kept trying to find the "right" answer, most provided constructive feedback. Interestingly enough, the data trend followed my results from the multiple intelligences test. More math games, more jokes in class, more math songs (I sang "10 little monkeys jumping on the bed" as an example of a "some went away" problem) reflected their musical, kinetic learning styles. I asked the students to also tell me their favorite thing about my teaching, so I would make sure to keep that in mind while making changes based on their feedback. Some of my favorite comments: "your examples are cool, funny, smarty," "when you laugh," "she work hard a lot," "your sensitivity." One student even told me,"when you don't go through all the problems and you make sure we understand the lesson."

Feeling generous (or at least tired of grading), I wrote "Happy Thursday" on the board and didn't assign any homework for the weekend as long as they could stay focused on the teacher evaluation. They like the "dashes on the board" game, where each time they get noisy, I fill in a dash, which is one letter closer to spelling out the homework assignment. In my sixth grade classes, I added that they didn't have any homework since Miss Julie (their lit teacher last year) had her baby. The kids were really excited, "can we skip our math lesson and visit Miss Julie in America to see the baby?" :) 

 

My breaks were filled with excitement. I was exhausted by the time I got home. During one break, a teacher and student got into a fight. After the principal got involved and sent the student away, I had to keep him (one of my 6th graders) from going back in. It was pretty tense in the teacher room for awhile. During the next break, I went to Sarah's class to make sure she didn't need me to sit in and help with discipline. As I walked in the door, John was bent over a student that had passed out on the floor. While John took him to the nurse and Sarah got the class organized, I started administering the quiz for John's students. John came within a few minutes and I went to the nurses station to check on the student, Chris. After getting some more information from Chris, we realized that another student had hit him on the head with a textbook in a moment of anger. Interrupted Sarah's class to get the student and finally worked out the situation. It made for a long day!

I don't know if I've mentioned him before, but the man who runs the snack shack is someone I hope to remember from the school. He is the principal's son. I think he has a slight mental disability. The students will sometimes tease him about it, so I have tried to be extra friendly. When the students are throwing money in his face, demanding their daily quota of chips, candy, and soda, I stand at the window, reminding them to wait their turn and say, "Supas" or "Thank you." The "snack guy" is always very patient with the kids. He often tells me, "No miss. No money" when I try to buy a snack. He always has a smile on his face, even when he is running around the garden picking up the empty pop cans and candy wrappers. His enthusiastic and untiring servitude reminds me what I ought to be to the students as well.

I stayed until the end of school to grade papers, then talked with some of my kids as they headed for home. One of my students from last year came up to me (in front of all the parents and drivers, which is unusual for the boys) and gave me a HUGE hug. That was a great ending to my school week!

On the walk home, I picked up drinks and snacks for our road trip. All my things were packed, so Sarah and I visited as we waited for our ride. I loaded up the van with mixed feelings. Even though I wouldn't see my kids over the weekend anyway, I was sad to think I would be "leaving" them.

We picked up A, L and the kiddos around 3:30 and started our adventure to Erbil. As always, it was fun to be with the crew. We had snacks, shared stories and started a quote book. For the first time ever, I heard Mary complain about driving too SLOW! (The driving here is fast and at times hazardous. we almost got in an accident twice.) Anyway, just outside Erbil they have their city landfill. The smell was awful and enough to make all of us wish we could fly through that section of the road.

Once in Erbil, we drove straight to American Burger for dinner. it was delicious. Unfortunately, several of us had upset stomachs afterwards. Guess we're not used to greasy American food anymore. The SGI family (K, K and their two daughters) working at CSM in Erbil met us for dinner. Afterwards, we taxied to the house and got settled in.

October 1st and 2nd: Little Things to Remember

Monday, October 1st:
The pipes that collect our shower water and dish water are drained throughout the day into the alley outside our house. The sound of water splashing underneath my window as I get up in the morning is oftentimes deceiving, and my heart will leap with the thought that it is raining outside. On most days like that, I lay in bed and pretend that it is rain and that I am back in Oregon waking up to a Fall morning. I've felt more homesick these past few days. I find myself in the middle of my normal routine and all of a sudden I am reminded of a moment back home or thinking of what I would be doing if I were home. Other times, a familiar smell catches me off guard.

Each class took a test today. The students know that I will follow through when I say they will lose points for talking, so it ended up being a quiet day. I got to sit in on Sarah's class, just to be on hand for any classroom discipline she might need. They can be a handful, but were encouraged to be better behaved after she expressed her desire to make the lesson engaging provided they would listen. I shot up my eyebrows at two of the boys, but the class as a whole did really well and enjoyed Sarah's lesson. I stayed until 2:30 pm and visited with students on the way out. Hopped in a taxi and went to Andy and Lisa's to meet up with the Director's daughter from Erbil. She is in charge of curriculum and will be teaching at the school in Suly this year. John, Mary, and Sarah came over too and all of us visited for about an hour. After she left, we had our team devotional time. It was a good trial run. The meeting is more focused since we don't have to worry about a meal, catching up, and a Skype call. Andy challenged us with three questions, which helped us share what God has been teaching us. It was helpful to know how to pray for the others.

After team time, we went to Al Azaim and ate outside. It is Zander's favorite restaurant - he calls it "A to Z restaurant" because of the giant lettering on the top of the building. I think the name might have a double significance, since they really do serve it all, from A to Z. From salads, soup and bread to our main course to the chips and french fries and finally dessert and chai, everything was really good. We were stuffed full with food. I had parzola (lamb chop) since they were all out of beef, but brought a lot of leftovers home. John, Mary and Sarah headed out early so Henry could go to bed. Andy, Lisa, Z&Z, and I visited for half an hour longer while Zander played on the playground equipment. It was good to catch up with Lisa. We took a taxi home and then I worked on grading my stack of papers.

Tuesday, October 2nd:
Our first "phase" ends on Thursday; phase grades will be finalized then as well. I've been telling my kids to turn in their work for the past two weeks, but somehow it always manages to pile up in the last few days. I had a lot of grading to do last night. I finally quit at 10pm and got up early this morning to enter the grades in Excel.

Since most of the students did not do as well as I'd hoped on their tests yesterday, I offered them an assignment worth "extra marks" if they listened quietly to the lesson and made it through the material. All of the classes did well, but it was interesting to notice that the students in my disruptive classes were more excited about the opportunity than the students in my "better" classes. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my usually "difficult" students working diligently. Most times I end up regretting these types of "great ideas" when quiet working time turns into mass chaos.

As it turned out, my first sixth grade class (6B) had a surprise waiting for me when I walked in. The classroom was in complete silence as EVERY single student was working on their warm-up problems. I couldn't keep the smile off my face! It was nice to reward them with no homework for the day in addition to the opportunity to earn extra marks. The students in 6B are eager learners and they often have lots of questions for me during the break. Today, as I was answering their math questions, Sarah came by with a Coke to help me get through my next lesson! That really made my day! As I saw my students studying my reaction ("Wow! Thank you so much! Isn't she thoughtful?"), I realized she had just provided a tremendous example of how Christians love one another.

As I left the classroom, I had the opportunity to encourage two of my sixth grade girls to forgive each other. Similar scenario to Sunday, except this time another student chimed in. "Remember, you are supposed to forgive each other 70 times 7!" I reminded them that friends are from God and we need to cherish the ones He has given us. One of the students (who is new this year) looked skeptical, but the other promised me she would keep trying to be friendly.

I stayed after my classes to grade papers and was thankful when I got through the entire stack! Said goodbye to students on the way out, jumped in a taxi, and picked up Sarah at the bottom of our street to go to Mazi. She picked up her wire, then we did some shopping for tomorrow's team dinner. John and Mary were just arriving as we left, so we took their taxi home. We are fighting off another torrent of mosquitoes. Sarah and I have almost sealed up every hole imaginable and poured bleach down the drains that we can't seal. We've started a scoreboard - Sarah and Helen vs. Mosquitoes.

After entering grades in Excel (I'm sure there will be one more large batch to process tomorrow), I joined Sarah for popcorn and a movie. We painted our nails and swatted at mosquitoes while we watched. Ended the night talking about home. For Sarah, it was probably similar to having a conversation with Doug the dog from the movie "UP." "So when was that? [Abrupt break and a pointed finger] Mosquito!" ... "Oh, right. I had something like that happen to me too. Right above your head!" By the end of the night, our "kills" board was pretty full.

September 29th and 30th: Outside of the Classroom Moments

Saturday, September 29th:
Woke up and wrote out a plan for my day, hoping to prevent time from slipping by without being able to provide a good account of my time. After devotions, I caught up on correspondence, did some laundry and vacuumed. At 11am, I was able to Skype my friend who is serving in the Philippines as a teacher for MKs. It is encouraging to hear how things are going in her part of the world and share common experiences.

Afterwards, I read through my blog from last year. It was a good reminder of God's faithfulness and how much He has taught me, especially when I compare this first month with last year's first month. I spent some time reflecting, then graded papers while listening to a lecture. By then it was close to 4pm. Sarah and I decided to go to Sarky's for dinner. We got ready and walked up the street to the place where Stacy and I had become regulars. We ordered half cheese and half veggie (the same thing Stacy and I would order). It was nice to get out of the house. On the way home, we walked by "Sam's Club" (our American name for it) - the store where you can buy things in bulk. I went there for the first time in May and discovered that they had Oreos! Unfortunately, they didn't have any this time. Sarah bought a box of caramels instead.

When we got home, I wrote up my test for Monday so I could get it copied early. I also made up a set of questions for my students to complete as a teacher evaluation. At the beginning of the year, when the students had to write out three goals for the year, I shared my goals with them. I explained that while I want them to improve in Math, I want to improve as a teacher. I hope the evaluation will provide some insight for more effective teaching in this culture, and not simply provide an opportunity to complain and criticize. If nothing else, I want my students to know that I need to learn too and that it is important that my teaching benefit them.

Based on their multiple intelligences results, I created a project for Phase 2 that will allow them to work with a math concept in a way that relates to their learning style. They have to pick one math idea that we've discussed so far and present it in one of five ways. 1. Write a song/poem (musical learners) 2. Conduct a survey and present the data (spacial learners) 3. Debate about the topic (interpersonal and linguistic) 4. Create and act out a news announcement (kinetic) 4. Create a complex problem that incorporates multiple math concepts (logical mathematical, intrapersonal). After writing up the instructions and a form for each student to fill out, explaining their project, I cleaned the bathroom, which completed my checklist for the day.

Sarah and I went over to John and Mary's to hang out after Henry went to bed. While we watched an episode of Monk, I wrote out answer keys so the students could correct their homework tomorrow. Lots of copies to make ...

Sunday, September 30th:
Got off to a hard start this morning. When Mary, Sarah, and I arrived at school the copy room was full of teachers needing copies. I ended up being late for my class as I waited for the copies for my first lesson. I was chiding myself on the way to class when I walked by the new vice principal (who is in charge of attendance). I'm pretty sure he had just been by my classroom ... and I wasn't there. To add to that, I had just written up the teacher evaluation, which includes a question about whether or not I come to class prepared. Ugh.

When I walked in, only two students were working on the warm-up. It was disheartening after I've tried to drill that procedure into them day after day after day. I reminded them of my expectation, then took a deep breath and asked the Lord to help me get back on track. Remembering my goal from last year, I asked to walk in His strength despite my feelings of inadequacy and unpreparedness. Peace came, and we moved on with the lesson. It was inside-out day, so I had a steady stream of students going to the bathroom to flip around their clothing. Lots of disruptions, but we made it through the material. I made a conscious effort to talk to one of the newer students. He is always eager to answer questions, but doesn't realize that I call on some of the weaker students to get their attention or check on their understanding. I want my better students to know that I care about them too, even though a lot of my free time is taken up disciplining the disruptive ones.

When I opened the door into my next class, I was not prepared for the scene that followed. Two of the boys, Sawyer and Manning [I just got looked those up on a baby names website...], were in the middle of a fight. Sawyer's glasses went flying and the punches got harder. I moved as quickly as I could to separate them and several of the boys intervened as well. We went out into the hallway. Sawyer is usually the goof-off  of the class, turning everything into a joke. (He was the one who called me a name in front of the 6th graders.) As he wiped away the tears, I could tell that he was really angry and offended. Manning transferred from the other class because they were always making fun of him, but I haven't noticed him fitting in any better. Between blocking kicks and deflecting punches, I was able to figure out that Sawyer had tried to trip Manning, then Manning had proceeded to call him (and his mother) a stream of ugly names. Two of the bigger boys in the class stepped in as intermediaries. The way they handle conflict never ceases to amaze me. Each one acts as a representative of the other. While keeping the fighters separated, they hash out what happened, allowing the accused and defendant to interject comments every-so-often. Eventually, everything that needs to be said has been discussed. On occasion, the representatives will get upset with each other, and then another representative will step in. I decided to let them work things out and went back into class to  pass back homework and check on their warm-up problems. After five minutes, the argument still wasn't over. I asked the Lord for wisdom as I stepped into the hallway. "Sawyer, you need to forgive Manning. What do you think Manning deserves?" Sawyer spat out something in Kurdish and raised a fist. "Sawyer, I know that is what you would like to do, but God says we must be merciful. Do you remember how you said something mean about me in front of the sixth graders?" Sawyer glances up. Embarrassment has replaced the anger in his eyes. "Did you get what you deserved?" Sawyer shakes his head, all the fury is gone. I turn to Manning. "Remember how the boys in 5B made fun of you? It doesn't feel good does it? And how many times have I been kind to you when you were being made fun of?" Manning's defiance is gone as he mutters, "Lots." "Boys, forgive each other and shake hands." They turn towards each other. The rest of us are poised to block a stealthy kick, but they shake hands and mumble apologies. As I thought about it later, with an aching back and bruised arms, I couldn't help but wonder if the illustration of that scenario will ever be explained to them. Will there be a day when they will come to know the Representative who has plead our case, taken our punishment, and forgiven us freely?

The class was amazingly quiet and attentive after that. Part way through the lesson, I noticed one of the girls, Sadie, in tears. Oh no... And then I caught some of the girls passing notes. After the lesson, I took Sadie in the hallway and she explained that Prissy (no surprise there) had written a note excluding her and another girl (Maddie) from the "best friends" group. Maddie tried to make Sadie promise not to talk to Prissy anymore. I sent Sadie back inside and pulled Prissy and Maddie into the hallway. Prissy tried to say that she didn't mean it in a bad way - "they aren't my best friends, they're my sisters." I could have rolled my eyes, but I didn't. I explained that sometimes what we say can be taken the wrong way and we need to make sure of our friends. I also told Maddie that she needed to be forgiving. As I headed off to my next class, I put Vanessa (she likes to roll her eyes at me) in charge of peacemaking.

After that class, I was exhausted and couldn't imagine teaching one more class before my break. Thankfully, the Lord provided strength. As I walked up to my class, one of the other teachers was standing in the doorway telling my class to be quiet. A rough day for others' perceptions of me ... guess I need to learn this lesson. No one was working on the warm-up. I could've cried. They are usually my best class. I explained (again) that they need to work on the warm-up quietly even if I'm not there. I am usually a few minutes late because I have to walk from the farthest point in the school to get to their class. We had a good lesson after that. They are excited about their projects, so I hope they will put a lot of effort into them.

During the break, I read one of the notes from 5A that I had confiscated. In it, Prissy tells Vanessa that "we are together and we don't care about the others, even when they are fighting and crying because we aren't their best friends" (paraphrased) and then she wrote, "ha. ha. ha." Out of all the notes floating around, it was providential that that was the note I had confiscated. It proved my suspicion that Prissy was intentionally being mean. I went upstairs to take the attendance for my first class (I had forgotten during the chaos). As I walked by their classroom, Prissy was just returning from the bathroom ... another providential moment. She stopped to talk to me and I told her that I had read her note to Vanessa. She acknowledged that she was being mean, but tried to excuse herself, "I am trying to be nice to Maddie now, but she won't talk to me. I try and I try and I try." I asked Prissy if she remembered how she had treated me when I first came to the school. "You weren't very nice were you?" She shook her head, "No, I wasn't." "Remember how I had to be nice to you day after day even though you weren't very nice to me?" "Yes..." "You have to keep being kind, even if they aren't kind back to you. You are a leader in that class ... even if you don't want to be," I add the last part as she shook her head. "Maddie looks up to you, but is afraid you will hurt her again. You need to earn her trust." "Yes, Miss."

My last sixth grade class went fairly well, apart from two major interruptions. During the warm-up, one of the teachers sent a student to our room to collect textbooks so he could use them in the other sixth grade class. We were in the middle of the lesson when the new vice principal came in and introduced himself to the class and gave a long speech about taking care of their school. It was hard to keep their attention after that. One student said to me, "Miss, you are lucky." "How's that?" "Your class was interrupted twice." That was the first time I've heard them use sarcasm. It took me a minute to understand, but it made my day. (Is that a good thing?)

As I walked to the teacher room, my third graders from last year were in the garden for their break. One of them came up and asked me to take a bag of chips to her friend who was still in the class. (They aren't allowed to go back into the building during breaks). I took the chips upstairs and got to say "hello" to several of my old students. They were happy to see me and I got lots of hugs and handshakes. It turns out I am teaching some of their older brothers and sisters in sixth grade! As I left, two of my girls from 5B invited me to sit with them. They put me right in between them, and we talked about their other classes, what they want to do in the future. I got lots of hugs as I left. Even more hugs when I stepped outside and all the students were returning to their classes. Each hug was a blessing from God, encouraging me that though I was not prepared for this day, I was walking in His strength through moments that had been planned entirely by Him.

I spoke with the principal as I caught him alone in passing. I apologized for my students coming to him with problems. I explained that they were asking to go to the bathroom, but going for him instead. He responded, "Do not believe them, Miss. They will lie to you." I explained that I wanted to trust my students to be responsible, but would be more careful about where they went. I apologized again and assured him I would do my best to handle issues inside of the classroom. I felt that it was an opportune moment to try to make things right between us, and tried not to use it as a means of defending myself. It seemed to be taken in the right spirit.

During Sarah's last class, I visited with teachers in the break room. At 1pm, Sarah and I walked home. After we ate some leftover pizza together, I laid on my bed and pretended I was back home getting cranio-sacral therapy. My body ached all over after getting pummeled by punches that weren't intended for me. I felt a little better afterwards. Skyped with my family at 5pm. Eithen broke his elbow the other night. Poor baby ... I wish I could be there to cuddle him and even more, be there when he goes to the hospital for a possible surgery this week.

Sarah and I went over to John and Mary's for dinner. Henry is not feeling well, so I got to cuddle him (instead of Eithen). Mary made Jamaican spinach soup and grilled cheese. Soooo good - spicy, flavorful, toasty, and the perfect Fall meal! By the time we left, Henry had a fever. Praying for the little guy and hoping he doesn't get worse.

Early bedtime ... test tomorrow. Thankful for those moments outside of the classroom that catch me off guard, but make me rely on God. I feel utterly useless and can only watch in amazement as He works through me to teach an unexpected lesson.

September 27th and 28th: The ABC's (Akre, Birthdays, and Chicken ... Texas Chicken)

Thursday, September 27th:
This morning we walked to school and one of the first things Sarah said was, "It's COLD!" We had to laugh because it was probably in the 70s, but there was definitely a nice breeze that made it feel like Autumn was here (the students will correct us if we use "Fall" - "It's Autumn here, Miss").

My first class (5B) went pretty well. It seems to be the same repeat-offenders, who interrupt class with complaints, "He said bad words to me, Miss," "He kicked me, Miss," "Say to him, Miss." (Which means, "Tell him to stop bothering me.") This morning I borrowed a trick of Mary's and told my class that I wasn't their mother (I got a few giggles from that one) and shouldn't have to deal with their squabbles during class. If they wanted to tattle, they could save it for after class. After that, I tried to ignore them while the rest of us completed the lesson. I promised the class that if we made it through the chapter and the even-numbered problems, I wouldn't assign them any homework for the weekend. I put dashes on the board (like Hangman) to spell out "Lesson 19 odds"; each time they got too noisy, I put another letter up on the board. If I spelled out the entire assignment, then that would be their homework. As a whole, they did well and we only made it up to the first letter "d". :) After class, I pulled the four boys aside and told them that when I was little and I said "bad words," my mom would clean out my mouth with a bar of soap. I told them that I wouldn't wash out their mouths, but expected them to keep their mouths clean. They definitely understood the imagery (though they had obviously never heard of it before).

In my second class, I gave them the same promise of no homework if they could listen attentively. While completing the warm-up, they asked me for help with the problem-solving question which read, "For breakfast, lunch, and dinner Sam ate soup and eggs and ham, one for each meal, but not necessarily in that order. List all the possible arrangements of meals Sam could have eaten." I wrote out abbreviations for each meal and each food item, then began, "If Sam had soup for breakfast, what could he have eaten for lunch?" A long pause. "Miss, what is ham?" I about choked. It took me a few seconds to regain my composure. I finally said, "You don't eat that here. It's pig." And then moved on as quickly as possible, changing the entire problem to include rice, chicken, and dolma. It was hard to keep the lesson moving, but we made it through and they earned their no-homework assignment.

My two sixth grade classes went well and I didn't have to assign them homework either. My second sixth grade class can be really rowdy as I discovered when the teacher after me didn't come for her lesson. (She was at her brother's wedding). The curriculum coordinator came in to make a change to their schedule, and I offered to stay so that the students wouldn't disrupt the other classes. While they are good students in my class and follow my procedures, their 45 minutes with me was up as far as they were concerned, and they did not want to have to stay in the classroom. School ended at 1pm, so they were anxious to leave and go home. Eventually I let the quiet students go after answering a math question, and then there were six (boys). They went wild. Being stubborn can be a good thing at times, and I wore them down. In the end, they answered a math question and were allowed to leave. It was chaos for awhile though.

At 1pm, we had a teacher meeting. N translated for me since the principal led the meeting in Arabic. I couldn't help but take the meeting personally. The principal started by telling us that we didn't need to bring every little problem to him (i.e. my kids going to him so that he would resolve disputes between them), then told us that we should be forgiving and loving towards them (i.e. the other day, a student didn't bring his books. I told him that it was his responsibility to come prepared, but he could share with someone else for the day, as long as he paid attention and didn't use it as an excuse to talk. I moved on, turned around a few minutes later and he was talking. I sent him to the principal to say that he hadn't come prepared and wasn't going to listen in class. The principal sent back a note, "Please forgive him this once." My student was grinning ear-to-ear and all the other kids thought it was pretty sweet.) Sigh. The language barrier is a problem since I can't always communicate the issue effectively. Secondly, my kids know it is a problem and use it to their advantage. I left the meeting feeling discouraged and not sure how to "fix the problem." I realized almost as quickly that I was trying to cover my shame. The principal may have a poor, albeit false, opinion of me, but I must trust that God is the lifter of my head.

Sarah and I decided to go to Texas Chicken to celebrate the end of the work week. A teacher from school was gracious enough to give us a ride. It was fun to have a special treat, and I enjoy being with Sarah. There is always something new to discover that we have in common. For instance, we both have Navy dads, but who would have thought that both of us would grow up hearing, "Keep your head on a swivel." :) Go figure!

When we got home, I tried to process the events of the week. There have been several instances just in the last five days where I have been misrepresented and bothered/frustrated by it. I think it goes back to the lecture about greed, surprisingly enough. The lecture used money as the example, but the principle that money is where we place either our self-worth or our security is something I've been trying to apply to other areas. I think that my reputation and what others think of me is like money. I am greedy with it. And greed blinds us. It asks us to die in order to have what we treasure. When I know that someone else thinks poorly of me, I feel ... mortified (which comes from the Latin, to put to death, to deaden). Essentially, my feelings are a sacrifice that feeds my treasure. The lecture talks about "giving graciously." Am I willing to give graciously of my reputation? If my reputation doesn't define me, then what does? Second point in the lecture: Jesus is our treasure. Is He enough? The Sunday School answer is, "Of course." But do I really believe that? Jesus is the only treasure that gave Himself that I might have Him. I don't have to feel mortified. Instead of clinging to my reputation, I can rejoice in Jesus Christ. And then it hits me, "Delight in the Lord." I have so much to learn.

I Skyped with my family in the evening, then went to bed at 12am (a little later than I planned since we are leaving around 8am tomorrow...)

Friday, September 28th:
S, a teacher at our school, picked us up this morning at 8:15 (and he was right on the dot). We drove out to Akre (about 2 and half hours away), turned northwest, went over a mountain range and down into a valley. It was a wonderful picnic spot near a creek (a very large tour group from Erbil thought so too!) We played in the water. Then ate a huge lunch with S's family and celebrated his little cousin's fourth birthday.

Our picnic spot

Playing in the water (barda - cold)

S and his brother dunking their younger cousin in the water.

Sarah and I going barefoot. I love the laughter on Sarah's face!

Playing the ring game. One person hides the ring in one of his teammates hands. Everyone on the team holds out their fists and the other team has to guess who has the ring. If they ask you to open your hand ("tuug" in Arabic), and you have the ring, then you say, "Buut" and your team gets a point!

Our appetizers (broad beans, chickpeas, and olives)

S's cousin and sister, Sarah, and me

On the way home, we saw this rock and thought it might be a memorial or landmark of some kind. Nothing but graffiti, but it was fun to take pictures.

Looking back into the valley where we had our picnic

We got home around 5:30pm. As I walked in the door, my family was calling on Skype! Hannah and I planned a birthday surprise for Mom. Unbeknownst to her, Hannah was downstairs setting it up, and she had been banished upstairs. Seeing I was online, she decided to call me. We talked for awhile, then Grandpa brought her downstairs (and I got to come too!) I had planned on seeing pictures afterwards, but getting to be there was even better! There were 50 colorful balloons waiting for her and each one had a "reason to be thankful you're 50" attached to it. I got to sing "Happy Birthday" and watch as she read the first one. She read the others throughout the day. Grandma made a breakfast brunch, and even though I couldn't enjoy the food, I got to spend time with them and celebrate the moment.

Dad and I talked for over an hour. We had an encouraging discussion about the things God is teaching us right now. Dad is doing a lesson on contentment and grappling with what it means to "submit and take pleasure in the things God has appointed for us," even when that means injustices or afflictions. We talked about how that fits with delighting in God. Dad reminded me that when I face misrepresentation, I must give my burden to Him and take His yoke upon me. And then I realized, Jesus' yoke is easy and His burden is light. Why? Because it is Him! He is our treasure. As we give Him our burdens, He gives us Himself. This means that submission to the Father's will, love for the brethren, etc. are the result of striving for, delighting in Jesus Christ. Submission or contentment or selflessness are not the end in themselves; they come as we find our treasure in the Lord Jesus Christ.

After "eating" a bite of cake and "blowing out the candles" with Mom, we ended the birthday celebration at 8:30pm. Sarah and I went over to John and Mary's for movie and homemade donuts night. Yummy! Another late night as I fell into bed at 11:30.

September 21st and 22nd: Hiking Up the Mountains and Walking Through the Valleys

Friday, September 21st:

Thanks to Sarah, I have pics from last night...

At Zeri Park with the teachers

In the flight simulator

At Dumballah

Bershes! (Helen and Helen, Sarah and Sarah)

This morning I woke up feeling refreshed (even though I went to bed at 2am). This was an answer to prayer as I had asked the Lord for help to go to fellowship with the right attitude. John, Mary, and I went to fellowship at 9am (Sarah stayed home to rest and recuperate). We had a good time studying Psalm 81, which went along with the lecture I listened to yesterday - expect great things from God. We looked at Israel, a stubborn, rebellious people, who were intent on following their own hearts. God spoke to them time and again, even promising them, "Open your mouths wide and I will fill it." We were encouraged to NOT follow Israel's example, but to listen to God's Word and believe His promises.

On the way home, I picked up a chicken for our weekend meal(s). Sarah and I have made it part of our weekly tradition. The "chicken man" was much more courteous, telling me the bread would be about 5 minutes more and allowing me to sit inside and wait. Before, he acted annoyed (probably because I am single and Asian-looking) even though I waited outside and tried to be respectful. This culture is difficult to navigate, especially since I break all of their molds, but I trust that God will open their eyes to see that my heart is upright, and I am not trying to offend.

After lunch, I listened to a sermon on 1 Peter from Monergism.com. There were several good points that I will try to meditate on throughout the week, but one that struck me right away was that the gospel is neither cultural accommodation nor cultural withdrawal. I err on the side of cultural accommodation. I want to adapt and fit in, fearing that I will disappoint others around me. The sermon reminded me that our lives, if we are living them to glorify God, will generate praise and criticism. "Whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by your good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation." We are to live deep in the heart of our culture, set apart. Later in the evening I was put to the test. Someone local, via Facebook, asked me on a date. My first thought was, "How should I respond culturally?" After going through various responses with Sarah, I realized that I needed to respond in a way that would glorify God. I told __ that in the States he would have to meet my parents first. (Note to fathers: Tell your daughters that they can and should always use you for backup. My dad told me that back in middle school, and it was his words that came to mind.) The reaction was positive, even though I was afraid of disappointing him. I trust God will help me respond to future situations in a way that identifies me with the gospel.

At 5pm, John, Mary, Sarah and I walked to Geli (the park near Duhok Dam) and met up with Andy, Lisa, Zander and Zephie. Together, we climbed the flag mountain, where we saw the remains of a Zoroastrian temple and took team pics.

Zoroastrian Temple

View of Duhok from Flag Mountain

Looking towards the dam

The scenery was beautiful and we decided to take a team picture. I set the timer on my camera and we took our places. The following pics give a good look into the dynamics of our team :)

Get Ready!

Sarah and John are fixing their glasses, Andy is getting Zander-man into position.

Get Set!

Leave a space for Helen! (What is up with Sarah and John holding the same pose?)

Go!

One more just for fun!

A view of Duhok in the sunset:

Zander and I exploring a cave (Batman's cave). I stepped on a bottle as we rounded the dark corner. "Crackkkk" Zander and I both jumped! (Thanks, Sarah, for taking this pic!)

The Kurdish flag

We ate dinner at "Duhok Paradise" after our hike. Our salads included pickled cucumbers (that weren't orange), pickled red cabbage (SOUR!), and diced apples in fig? jam. Between everyone's orders, we Pizza Mexicana (really good and tasted like pizza back home), Pizza Marguerite, and chicken tikka (or chicken on a skewer). Enjoyed a great view and wonderful team fellowship.

Saturday, September 22nd:
In the morning I was able to chat via Facebook with Pastor John. It was encouraging to hear from home (and converse in "real" American, even to the point of using sarcasm!) Went over to Mary's for a waffle brunch. Just as we finished up our meal, Mary received an alarming message on Facebook. Almost immediately, we (or least I) went into the default mode of last year - move into a holding pattern until we hear from the administration. Thankfully they responded quickly and even though we were still unnerved by the message, it seems that the response was faster and more complete. We sat with each other, grading papers and watching Henry until about 3.

Sarah was able to Skype with her parents, and then she and I went down to the market to change money and look for a DVD player and TV. Along the way, we saw a small grass fire. Someone ahead of us had just walked by, but I couldn't just leave it. After all, I worked for a wildland firefighting company! What to do? Thankfully Sarah brought her water bottle and, after assessing the situation and determining that it was just burning paper and grass (no alcohol), she poured water over it while I kicked some sand over the small embers. Sarah and I might just have saved all of Duhok! We ended up going the long way through the market, picking up a few souvenirs and other fun purchases. In the end, we bought a DVD player and TV too! When we got home, we set up the TV/DVD right away. It worked! Three successes in one day - we found a DVD player, we found a TV, and we got it working! Unbelievable!

After some lesson planning, we went back to John and Mary's to hang out. Tomorrow, a rep from the school will pick us up, take us to school, then escort Mary back home after her class. Praying that all goes well and we are able to walk in the Spirit.

September 17th and 18th: A Little Bit of Progress and Lot of Heartbreak

Monday, September 17th:
Sarah and I have been lamenting the fact that we are missing all things FALL - Monday night football, spiced lattes, and leaves changing colors.

This morning was tough for my students. I warned them that anyone talking during the test would receive a zero. Apparently they didn't believe me. Three of the students were sent outside to "reflect" on their behavior. Instead of staying outside, they came back in and distracted the other students. I took their tests and tore them in half. Though the three acted undaunted, the other students in the class realized I was serious, and we had a fairly quiet class afterwards. When students finished their test, they had to write an apology note to Miss Sarah. "Miss, why do you keep saying, 'Miss Sarah, Miss Sarah?' We don't want to talk about it anymore." They actually noticed! I explained that it is very important that they treat guests respectfully and that we will continue to talk about "Miss Sarah" until they realize that their behavior was disrespectful.

My second class went well and I didn't have to give anyone zeroes. After they finished, they wrote thank you notes to Miss Mary. My other classes wrote notes as well. During morning devotions, I had prayed that my students would learn to love others and I realized how much they needed it when each class would ask, "But, Miss, what do we say?" Many of them copied down what I had intended to be a suggestion, "Thank them for being here while I was gone since you wouldn't have had anyone to teach you."

In sixth grade, I waited for the students to quiet down before handing out their tests. In the meantime, I wrote “minus points” on the whiteboard and wrote down a tally mark each time they started talking. In the end, both classes lost 3 points off their tests.

Stayed after school with Sarah and graded papers. For the walk home, we bought ice cream bars and enjoyed an after school treat. When we got home, Mary invited us over for tea. It was a nice time to catch up and relax together. I was able to get some grading done before we went back to their place for dinner. Mary made falafel, which we ate on flatbread with cucumber-yogurt dressing, tomatoes, and onions. Yummy! It was nice to eat an early dinner as I had lots of time afterwards to finish grading tests and homework. I had my first class tell me on the back of their test papers something about their class I should know. One student wrote, “Miss they hate you because last year you didn't teach the lesson you just put X’s next to names. But this year you are better.” Ouch! Hard words to swallow, making me doubt my discipline policy and wonder what I ought to do better. I wasn't able to see that I could do anything differently considering that no one hears the lesson when the students are misbehaving, but I did ask the Lord to help me learn and stay focused on teaching each lesson.

Tuesday, September 18th:
Mary is not feeling well, so Sarah subbed for her class. We enjoyed a nice walk to school and noticed that it was actually "chilly" (not Grants Pass chilly, but Iraqi chilly).

My first class went fairly well. It is a challenge to be consistent with discipline, especially when it doesn't seem to have much effect. Three of the boys continue to cause problems on a daily basis, but the boys who are “on the fringe” are doing a little better. In my first and second class, we made it through two chapters in the book, which was a feat in itself. I was thankful to catch up after missing a day when there wasn't any paper for my tests. The students seemed to understand the material, which made it a double blessing.

Sixth grade went well. They were not pleased when they realized that I actually subtracted points for talking. When they complained, “But it wasn't me, Miss,” I told them that I was serious about no talking during tests and that their entire class had to take responsibility since one person wouldn't be talking unless others were listening. Most of the students had turned in extra homework problems, so their grades were largely unaffected. I hope it served as a reminder that I mean what I say and will follow through. Before looking at our lesson, I told them I needed two minutes outside the text. In each class, I explained that math was not simply writing answers on the board for them to copy. I even went on to say that writing up answers was a terrible way to teach math. My goal was not to have them know the right answers, but to understand the ideas. Those ideas would affect the way they looked at the world around them for the rest of their lives. The students responded to my enthusiasm and agreed to be patient and "stick with it" even if my teaching method was different. "It may feel uncomfortable, but that's how you know you are growing." Those words have been ringing in my head since I got here. I actually took the idea from a workout article - "adapting to a set routine is what stalls progress." And I've been applying that concept to the way life works here. We strive to stay in our comfort zone, but God calls us out to teach us and grow us. I often react like my students - complaining, goofing off, or asking why without any trust.

During the long break, I took “Pedro” aside and talked to him. I felt like I gave the same spiel about consequences for bad behavior, but this time he seemed more attentive since we were talking one-on-one. It turns out he wants to earn a "Your student was TERRIFIC today" more than anything. I told him it was not very difficult. He simply needed to listen, do his work, and not distract the other students. I was encouraged by his reaction and tried to show through my words and actions that I care about him. "If you were the best student in my class, 'Pedro', I would be thrilled!" He looked at me questioningly, then beamed. "Really, Miss?"

Just after that, one of my fifth-grade students came up to me and told me that another student had made obscene gestures behind my back during class. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I knew I couldn't deal with the situation as it was too personal, and I was too stunned to even address it. I didn't doubt what the student said since I have noticed more perverse behavior and jokes in that class. Thankfully, Mr. B (the curriculum coordinator) walked by at that moment, and I asked him for his help. The student explained the situation. Mr. B was appalled, and went to talk to the student. I learned later that the accused-student denied doing it and even started crying. (It doesn't sound like either student denied that it had happened.) When the other student got side-tracked with how the class had been mistreating him, Mr. B didn't press it any further. He told the class that if anything like that was reported again, the student responsible would leave the school and not come back. Without anyone else knowing, he put the accused-student in charge of reporting any offenses to him...

It was a disheartening way to end the day. I was really heartbroken that my students would know something so obscene, let alone do something so obscene in front of everyone. Sarah also had a difficult last class. We talked on the way home about the frustration and discouragement of trying to be different from the local teachers, then being treated differently in a negative way. We want to discipline in love and teach in truth, but then we are treated with contempt and disrespect in ways that the local teachers would never be treated. We encouraged one another that Jesus also faced contempt and ridicule for coming in a lowlier state than the Jews had expected and for teaching hard lessons.

After scoring Multiple Intelligences tests for a little while, Sarah and I walked to Pizza Hot and ordered pizzas and french fries for dinner with John and Mary. Mary was still not feeling well, but better than before. We didn't stay long, since we wanted to pick up some food for tomorrow night's team dinner. Got home around 6:30, took showers, then finished paperwork while watching Swiss Family Robinson. Brought back good memories of acting it out with Hannah when we were kids.

Internet failure, so I spent part of the night uninstalling everything to try it again in the morning.

September 15th and 16th: Ready, Set, Ad Lib

Saturday, September 15th:
Arrived back in Duhok around 10am. Sarah greeted me at the door. We sat around the table and talked about our weekends. Took a shower, did some laundry, and caught up on emails. Around noon, Sarah and I went over to John and Mary's for waffles and catching up. John and Mary had gone to Assyrian engagement party the night before and the night before that, Sarah went a celebration with an Assyrian family from the school. We laughed about our "very Assyrian weekend!"

Laid low and prepared for school. I thought I would be exhausted and ready for an early bedtime, but my body wasn't back on the early night/early morning schedule. I was able to get a lot accomplished, and then Mom and I Skyped until 11:30pm.

Sunday, September 16th:
Thankfully I didn't have any problems getting up this morning. It might be more difficult tomorrow once all the activities of the weekend have finally caught up with me. Sarah, Mary, and I left at 8am so we could make copies before our classes. We all had fairly important copies to make, but when we arrived, we were greeted with, "All out of paper, Miss." Time to ad lib...

My first class had not behaved well for Sarah, so withholding the test was providential. For their warm-up, they had to answer the following questions: 1. Were you good for Miss Sarah? 2. How could you have behaved better? 3. What do you deserve? Sarah had marked down the names of the most disrespectful student, and I handed them sentences to copy for the duration of the class. For the rest, I read true/false statements aloud and they had to mark the answers on a piece of paper. The questions are supposed to identify their learning style, and I am prayerful that this will help me structure the class in a more effective manner. Overall, the students were attentive. I felt that I was unusually strict with them, so much so that it was hard to break that demeanor for the next class, but I hope they realized that I was serious about good behavior for subbing teachers.

My next three classes went well. I used the same ad lib lesson plan, though it was rather tedious to repeat the questions (and explain them one, two, three times). The school eventually got paper, and my copies were finished by the break. Hopefully I will be able to give the test tomorrow without any hiccups and we can try to catch up somewhere during the week. At noon, I subbed for another teacher's second grade class. Again, I had to ad lib a lesson. We identified and drew patterns, which eventually morphed that into what they are learning in math right now (smallest to largest). It would be nice to see the younger grades learn that math is really a tool we use to identify and create patterns. I think most view it as foreign language or a rule book of formulas, not something with practical applications.

Since leaving for the weekend, Sarah is more comfortable getting around on her own. She walked home after her class, so I stayed until school was finished at 2:30pm. It was nice to catch up with my kids as they piled into their buses. Even though I hadn't asked for it, I was given the opportunity to talk to four students who had been heavy on my heart for various reasons.

Enjoyed time for reflection during my quiet walk home. It was warm, but not unbearable. Once home, I graded a good portion of my papers, then Skyped with Dad and two of the boys before they went to church. At 6pm, the team met up at Vin House (the hamburger restaurant.) I had a delicious chicken burger with fries and coleslaw. Almost as good as home! Afterwards, we got ice cream at the shop next door. I had a really good red slushy. It hit the spot!

Came home and finished grading. Pictures of me at the village are all over Facebook. It is easy to imagine, especially in the midst of all the topsy-turvy-ness that surrounds us everyday, that the pictures will somehow give rise to false accusations. Each time I see a new post, my mind turns towards those thoughts, and I push down the fear that rises into my throat, threatening to choke me. Idle words of defense come to mind, and then I plunge deeper into worry over what others might think. Amid the fiery darts of the evil one and despite my fleshly panic, God keeps reminding me that I must rest in Him. I am learning that one of my greatest fears is the loss of self. One of the lectures I listened to talked about this kind of anxiety- not a healthy fear that spurs the adrenaline rush that sends us flying across the road when a car is barreling towards us - but an unhealthy, unreasonable fear that arises when something that gave us identity, something that made us feel we had control is stripped away. Combine this with another lecture about our treasures ... The example given was money. We use money as either a symbol of our status (exalting ourselves) or as our security (protecting ourselves). It follows then that our identity is wrapped up in what we treasure. When that treasure is threatened, anxiety arises not so much for the treasure itself, but because we are afraid of losing our identity.

Conclusion: Fear reveals our treasure. (Think of the ruse Sherlock Holmes used to uncover a compromising letter. Fearful that her house was burning, the woman revealed her hiding place to save her treasure.)

Based on the fear that has arisen in the last 24 hours, I keep asking myself, "What is my treasure?" Perhaps it goes deeper than this, but I know that how others view me is at least part of the package. The lecture on treasure goes on to say that Jesus is the only treasure who died so that we could have Him. Every other treasure will demand that we die in order to obtain it. The treasure I seek to obtain, worth in the sight of others, is drowning me in a sea of "what ifs." What is the remedy? Delight in the Lord as my treasure. Delight in God rather than self. I am not certain that I know how to do this yet, but tonight I am resting in His Word, finding peace in the knowledge that though I am unworthy, God delights in me:

"For the Lord's portion is his people; Jacob is the lot of his inheritance. He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling wilderness; he led him about, he instructed him, he kept him as the apple of his eye."

September 9th and 10th: A Few of My Favorite Things

Sunday, September 9th:
Happy news - I found out this weekend that I am getting paid more per class than last semester. Barring any surprise expenses, I hope to save up enough for a roundtrip ticket for Mom so she can come visit me (when she gets here, then I'll tell Dad that I could only afford a one-way!) :) Caleb is already planning on coming in December, but I don't think he will be able to make the trip alone. John, Mary and Sarah are planning on going home for Christmas break; Andy, Lisa and the kids will go visit another country then, so it would be nice to have Mom and Caleb here.

The highlight of the day occurred in my second class (5A). Following a very simple lesson from our book, I used the last fifteen minutes of class to ask the class, "Where did math begin?"
They spent several minutes guessing.
"Rome."
"America."
"Egypt."
At last, one student whispered something about Adam and Eve.
"Right! God created math when He created the earth."
Thoughtful looks.
"Well let's talk about it. Did man create math?"
Some students try to give examples of ways that we have "created" math, but I explain that we simply invented the symbols that help us explain math.
Another student points out that Adam didn't have the symbols, but he counted the animals.
"Exactly!" (My heart is beating faster and I know my excitement is evident.)
"So how do we know that 1 x 3 will still be 3 tomorrow?" Pause. "Think about this and come ready with an answer tomorrow. I'll give you a hint, it has something to do with the fact that it was created and Who created it."

During a break between classes, I had two girls come up to me and tell me they like math now. "You actually explain the lesson, Miss!" It was neat to see them so excited. They added, "We really like the 1 finger, 2 finger system too." Music to a teacher's ears! :)

My first class was pretty rowdy, so I ended up keeping five of the students during their long break, which meant they had to spend 15 minutes in my 6th grade class. It was tough, but as we talked about their behavior afterwards, each one responded with how they could be better tomorrow. Praying that there will be a break-through with each of my students.

Sarah and I had just started walking home, when one of the teachers offered us a ride. This particular teacher has been very friendly with John and Mary, and I got to know her a little bit last year. Most of her children are grown, and she is motherly in her concern for us. Thankful for the relationships with teachers and trusting that they will continue to develop.

Completed a lot of grading, just in time to Skype with the family. The computer made the rounds ... poor Dad went last and probably had the shortest amount of time since I had to leave so we could meet the team at Dream City. Andy and John have been under the weather the last two days, but feeling a little better today. We stopped in at the cafeteria and had some dinner, then went on the Ferris Wheel for a view of the city. There is no set number of cycles; we simply asked the operator to stop when we were finished. Apparently he couldn't stop the ride after just letting a new group on, so we had to wait to go around once more. :)

Sarah and I made a quick Mazi run afterwards (Dream City and Mazi are right next to each other.) We picked up groceries for Wednesday night's team dinner and a few other odds and ends. I had a migraine (they have been coming on more frequently this week) and my low back has started hurting again. I wore tennis shoes to Dream City, hoping that would alleviate some of the pain. God was very good to me and gave me the strength to be with everyone and get what we needed at Mazi. I even found a storage basket for my room, which I've been shopping for around town very unsuccessfully.

As I ended the night, I did some research on math, its origin, and how it shapes our view of the world. I found this interesting fact: "The New York Times reported that mathematicians believe in God at a rate 2 1/2 times that of biologists, quoting a survey of the National Academy of Sciences." Encouraged to know that there is a reason to teach math!

Monday, September 10th:
Talk S-L-O-W-E-R, talk S*L*O*W*E*R, talk S.L.O.W.E.R ... my mind kept repeating that over and over again today. Apparently some of the sixth grade students sit through an entire session without understanding half of what I've said. The primary student who keeps mentioning it likes to complain about everything, so I'm not convinced that it is simply my Western accent that is the problem. However, I know that I need to talk slower anyway ... based on a few experiments today, attention increases dramatically when I enunciate my words.

My first class was attentive up until the last 10 minutes. They can get a little talkative. However, I am focusing my efforts on some of the students that really use disruption to get attention. I read a website about classroom discipline and implemented some of their suggestions, including:
Give them extra responsibilities
Let them determine the consequence for misbehavior
Don't address them from the front of the class, but talk quietly at their desk

I tried to really think through each disruption that arose without allowing it to take too much time. Talking slower helped me process a little faster! I tried having the discussion from yesterday about "where did math begin?" with my first class, but they are less enthusiastic. I really have to remember that they prefer manipulative interaction! (I usually end up making four separate lesson plans for two math classes!)

My discussion in 5A was much more productive. The students came ready with their answers and could hardly wait until the last 15 minutes of class to talk about it.
"Math stays the same because God created it!"
"Good! But why does it stay the same? What happens to things that you and I create?"
We talked about making pots and drawing happy faces. "See how they change each time I create it? What do we know about God that explains why math stays the same?"
"He is the same!"
"Very good!"
We laughed at how difficult tests would be if math "facts" changed every day. How would you know the right answer?
At the end, I asked them to look up the word, "Constant." "This is a math term," I explained, "And you will find that it is a word that describes God too. We can be thankful that a constant God created math!"

In my sixth grade classes we reviewed Linear Measurement, but we also discussed mastery of a subject. They are constantly telling me before a lesson, "Miss, we already KNOW this." So today I wanted them to see that understanding isn't enough. They need to be able to apply, analyze, and evaluate. We talked about several examples of how we grow in our understanding - from how pencil sharpers work to toddlers asking why to my understanding of how to navigate around Duhok. It would be far from the truth to say that they were engrossed, but I hope they were at least challenged. And I did try to talk slower!

Exciting news! We got our residency cards today! This time around was sooo much easier! Definitely an answer to prayer.

When Sarah and I got home, I graded more papers (that is a recurring theme lately). Thankfully, I've discovered that listening to lectures while I grade doesn't make it seem so tedious. If my brain isn't focusing on something besides grading, all I can think of is how good a snack would be, or how uncomfortable I am, or how much longer this will take. :) Yesterday, I listened to a message on work - the primary goal of our work ought to be to help others. Today I listened to a message on greed, and I listened to it again. I am still in the digesting phase. It will probably take a few more times before I start to understand the application.

As I've been grading, I've also been asking myself, what is the relevancy of math? As a student, I was always self-motivated to learn math. My math professors in college rarely gave me any practical reason to further my studies, and it was my own interest that kept me motivated. However, I know that not all of my students have that inclination (in fact the majority do not.) As their teacher, I want to see my students interested in math, excited about the possibilities to learn more and the opportunities math will provide them. The question is, "How do I go about it?"

One student has already won my heart. He asked me a question today related to Algebra 2 and told me that he and his father are studying it at home! I can see his eyes light up when we talk about math and I love grading his papers - neat, orderly, easy to read, all the steps to solving the problem and the answer clearly given. It is motivating as a teacher to work with students who are excited to learn!

Around 5, we went over to John and Mary's for Pizza Hot pizza. Just as we sat down to eat, Plop. An olive landed in the ketchup on my plate. Thanks, John! I think that would go down in the Duhok Book of Memories... if it existed. Came home for more ... grading ... and an early bed. I didn't sleep very well last night, so I hope tonight will be better!

September 7th and 8th: Suffering, Defeat, and Resurrection

Friday, September 7th:
It was nice to sleep in and not worry about getting ready for school this morning. I slept until 8:30, then graded some papers until I was pleasantly interrupted by an invitation for waffles. Visited with John and Mary for about a half hour. A few days ago, John caught two geckos, which he decided to keep as pets inside his terrarium. Since then, the geckos' latest eating habits and terrarium changes have been the main subject of conversation. :)

Returned to grading, but set a time restriction so I could try to not only be more productive, but more realistic about how much grading I should really complete each day. I've decided that at least twice a week I will simply check to make sure students are completing their homework, then put the answers on the board the next morning. It takes me at least two hours (probably closer to three) to grade and correct all four classes (about 90 papers).

In the afternoon, I had a pleasant surprise. My friend from back home, who just left to teach in the Philippines was on Skype! We got to chat for awhile, comparing our locations and the things God is teaching us. She is still in the "take it all" mode, so it was fun to hear about what was new and exciting for her.

Afterwards, I moved on to lesson planning for this coming week. Sarah and I watched "The Scarlet Pimpernel" while I jotted down my notes for each day's chapter. At 5, we went over to Andy and Lisa's to watch Z & Z while they went on a date night. Zephie was not very happy when she discovered that Mama had left her, so I got lots of "cuddle" time (even though she wasn't sure she wanted me as a replacement). Sarah built a tower with Zander, made him a tunnel out of dushaks, and went to imaginary places. Andy and Lisa brought home dessert, which we enjoyed while visiting with them after the kids went to bed.

We walked home and stopped in at Holland so Sarah could pick up some conditioner. We had a fun time looking for one that didn't have a "cone" in it (used to describe any chemical that ends in "cone"). It was good walking weather and nice to get some exercise.

Saturday, September 8th:
Woke up this morning plagued with such rebellious thoughts that I felt my heart must be truly hardened. As I begged the Lord to "take away my stony heart and give me a heart of a flesh," I was reminded of the part in Pilgrim's Progress where, "poor Christian was so confounded, that he did not know his own voice" and "one of the wicked ones got behind him, and stepped up softly to him, and whisperingly suggested many grievous blasphemies to him, which he verily thought had proceeded from his own mind. This put Christian more to it than anything that he met with before, even to think that he should now blaspheme Him that he loved so much before; yet, if he could have helped it, he would not have done it; but he had not the discretion either to stop his ears, or to know from whence these blasphemies came." Instead of fixating on the wickedness of my heart, I prayed that God would deliver me from the evil one and help me to walk in His strength. The morning improved as God answered prayer.

Sarah and I went to fellowship by ourselves (John and Henry were sick and Mary was looking after them, so they couldn't join us.) We had an encouraging time studying Luke 23 and the 11 different responses to Jesus as He was led to His crucifixion. We picked up a chicken on our way home ... ironically we saw two little baby chicks in the alley near our apartment. It is very unusual to see "wildlife" or any living animals, so we stopped to take pictures (and tried to hide the cooked chicken we had just picked up for lunch.)  :)

After lunch and an encouraging conversation with Sarah, I listened to a short message (it was actually a response by Tim Keller during a Q&A session). From the 5 minute response, I gleaned 5 important points that I thought were relevant to the heart issues I've been struggling with, and tied in with the reading from John 11:
1. When we resist God's will, we are essentially saying "there can't be anything better than what I've imagined." (Like Thomas, who though there couldn't be anything more reasonable to expect from a journey to Bethany than death.)
2. We often stray into two lines of thinking when God's will doesn't "align with our own". We either say, "There must be sin in our lives since God is not answering our prayers" (Keller pointed out that Jesus' request was not granted and that was certainly not a result of sin in His life). Or we say, "God's will must necessarily contradict my own desires, so I better get used to it" and then we refuse to be happy in Him. This last point is the one I am struggling with. ("Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellowdisciples, 'Let us also go, that we may die with him.'")
3. Our plans never include suffering or defeat, but the gospel has at the heart of its victory both suffering and death! (Am I ready to lie down my life, my plans, my self, for the gospel?)
4. As Christians, we proclaim a suffering God. Jesus suffered so that we, through our own suffering, might be made like Him. (Will I follow Christ in His sufferings?)
5. In the gospel, resurrection will always be on the other side of death. (This was the miracle that Jesus intended to show His disciples! Do I believe that there is a resurrection for me here, which God will reveal in His own time?)

The second message I listened to looked at the fear expressed in Psalm 3. Not only was David afraid for his physical well-being, but for his very self and identity. Everything he had counted on to define himself had been stripped away - his favoritism with the people (they were about to depose him), his moral integrity (they knew of his affair with Bathsheeba and the murder of her husband), and his ability to parent (his own son was trying to kill him). In verse 3, David recognizes that God is his shield IN danger not apart from it. We have to follow God even in the midst of danger. To obey will be difficult, but to disobey is fatal. David also recognized that God was his glory, the lifter of his head. It wasn't the physical that could bring him glory, but God alone. These two points confirmed the things I've been meditating on throughout the week. God is calling me to follow Him into the difficulties and I dare not disobey. Secondly, my disinclination to follow Him reveals that I do not believe He alone is my glory. I trust that He will show me how to delight only in Him (my resurrection) in the months to come.

After a profitable time of rest, Sarah and I went out to get some things for Mary, then watched Iron Lady, a movie about Margaret Thatcher. It was a little depressing, but very informative about her life and the events surrounding it. Sarah made two big bowls of popcorn - one for each of us. It was delicious! And reminded me of home. When we finished it was about 8:30, so we went over to visit Mary and make sure Henry was sleeping well. All was quiet on the Eastern front :) and we were able to chit chat over a cup of tea.