October 7th and 8th: Come to Me ... And I Will Give You Rest

Sunday, October 7th and Monday, October 8th:
I am combining the last two days, since they have just rolled into one long day. I've had a hard time physically. On the way to Erbil, I reached behind the seat to get something and scratched myself on a staple that was sticking out of the back of it! I think the scratch has gotten infected. I've been dousing it with peroxide and keeping neosporin on it pretty regularly. I also think I am fighting off a stomach bug. My face seems to be experiencing an allergic reaction (might be a result of the stomach bug). On top of all that, I've been extremely tired (barely able to keep my eyes open during Sunday's classes).

After "making it through my classes" (which is a terrible feeling since I usually LOVE teaching), I came home and took a nap on both days. I've finished just enough grading to get by. Last night (Sunday), Mary had us over for spaghetti, which was amazing. Just as we finished eating, a sound outside prompted us to leap up from our chairs and head for the windows. We moved up to the roof where Sarah and I danced in the RAIN! It was dirty, but we hope this means the beginning of Fall weather...

At 4pm today (Monday), we had our team devotional time. I was feeling better, which was an answer to prayer as I didn't want to drag down our time together. We read part of Jeremiah 10 and Colossians 3, then sang some hymns together. It was an encouraging time, especially as we shared prayer requests. I have been struggling with the silence that seems to drag on day after day. Trials are easier to bear when we see a loving Father behind them, but when He does not seem to answer, every day feels full of affliction. For the past week, Spurgeon has been talking about the love of God, His ability to fill us so that we can walk in His strength, His never-ending supply. My heart wants to know more of this, but it feels so empty. Physical struggles have only amplified my sense of weakness. Today I realized that instead of demanding spiritual growth, I need to wait on Him - "though He slay me, yet will I trust Him." Though He hasn't revealed anything life-changing in the past few days, I know He has provided just enough spiritual strength for each day's trials (and time to rest from them). My goal for this week: Remember His promises, see how He is providing, and be thankful that He is enough!

After team time, all of us went to dinner at a restaurant recommended by Andy and Lisa. It is similar to the "Sheep Restaurant" but it has an upper-level with high chairs for the babies. Enjoyed eating together, came home to finish a little schoolwork, then off to an early bedtime.

October 1st and 2nd: Little Things to Remember

Monday, October 1st:
The pipes that collect our shower water and dish water are drained throughout the day into the alley outside our house. The sound of water splashing underneath my window as I get up in the morning is oftentimes deceiving, and my heart will leap with the thought that it is raining outside. On most days like that, I lay in bed and pretend that it is rain and that I am back in Oregon waking up to a Fall morning. I've felt more homesick these past few days. I find myself in the middle of my normal routine and all of a sudden I am reminded of a moment back home or thinking of what I would be doing if I were home. Other times, a familiar smell catches me off guard.

Each class took a test today. The students know that I will follow through when I say they will lose points for talking, so it ended up being a quiet day. I got to sit in on Sarah's class, just to be on hand for any classroom discipline she might need. They can be a handful, but were encouraged to be better behaved after she expressed her desire to make the lesson engaging provided they would listen. I shot up my eyebrows at two of the boys, but the class as a whole did really well and enjoyed Sarah's lesson. I stayed until 2:30 pm and visited with students on the way out. Hopped in a taxi and went to Andy and Lisa's to meet up with the Director's daughter from Erbil. She is in charge of curriculum and will be teaching at the school in Suly this year. John, Mary, and Sarah came over too and all of us visited for about an hour. After she left, we had our team devotional time. It was a good trial run. The meeting is more focused since we don't have to worry about a meal, catching up, and a Skype call. Andy challenged us with three questions, which helped us share what God has been teaching us. It was helpful to know how to pray for the others.

After team time, we went to Al Azaim and ate outside. It is Zander's favorite restaurant - he calls it "A to Z restaurant" because of the giant lettering on the top of the building. I think the name might have a double significance, since they really do serve it all, from A to Z. From salads, soup and bread to our main course to the chips and french fries and finally dessert and chai, everything was really good. We were stuffed full with food. I had parzola (lamb chop) since they were all out of beef, but brought a lot of leftovers home. John, Mary and Sarah headed out early so Henry could go to bed. Andy, Lisa, Z&Z, and I visited for half an hour longer while Zander played on the playground equipment. It was good to catch up with Lisa. We took a taxi home and then I worked on grading my stack of papers.

Tuesday, October 2nd:
Our first "phase" ends on Thursday; phase grades will be finalized then as well. I've been telling my kids to turn in their work for the past two weeks, but somehow it always manages to pile up in the last few days. I had a lot of grading to do last night. I finally quit at 10pm and got up early this morning to enter the grades in Excel.

Since most of the students did not do as well as I'd hoped on their tests yesterday, I offered them an assignment worth "extra marks" if they listened quietly to the lesson and made it through the material. All of the classes did well, but it was interesting to notice that the students in my disruptive classes were more excited about the opportunity than the students in my "better" classes. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw my usually "difficult" students working diligently. Most times I end up regretting these types of "great ideas" when quiet working time turns into mass chaos.

As it turned out, my first sixth grade class (6B) had a surprise waiting for me when I walked in. The classroom was in complete silence as EVERY single student was working on their warm-up problems. I couldn't keep the smile off my face! It was nice to reward them with no homework for the day in addition to the opportunity to earn extra marks. The students in 6B are eager learners and they often have lots of questions for me during the break. Today, as I was answering their math questions, Sarah came by with a Coke to help me get through my next lesson! That really made my day! As I saw my students studying my reaction ("Wow! Thank you so much! Isn't she thoughtful?"), I realized she had just provided a tremendous example of how Christians love one another.

As I left the classroom, I had the opportunity to encourage two of my sixth grade girls to forgive each other. Similar scenario to Sunday, except this time another student chimed in. "Remember, you are supposed to forgive each other 70 times 7!" I reminded them that friends are from God and we need to cherish the ones He has given us. One of the students (who is new this year) looked skeptical, but the other promised me she would keep trying to be friendly.

I stayed after my classes to grade papers and was thankful when I got through the entire stack! Said goodbye to students on the way out, jumped in a taxi, and picked up Sarah at the bottom of our street to go to Mazi. She picked up her wire, then we did some shopping for tomorrow's team dinner. John and Mary were just arriving as we left, so we took their taxi home. We are fighting off another torrent of mosquitoes. Sarah and I have almost sealed up every hole imaginable and poured bleach down the drains that we can't seal. We've started a scoreboard - Sarah and Helen vs. Mosquitoes.

After entering grades in Excel (I'm sure there will be one more large batch to process tomorrow), I joined Sarah for popcorn and a movie. We painted our nails and swatted at mosquitoes while we watched. Ended the night talking about home. For Sarah, it was probably similar to having a conversation with Doug the dog from the movie "UP." "So when was that? [Abrupt break and a pointed finger] Mosquito!" ... "Oh, right. I had something like that happen to me too. Right above your head!" By the end of the night, our "kills" board was pretty full.

September 23rd and 24th: Baby (chick) Steps Forward

Sunday, September 23rd:

Despite the uncertain start to our day (with the school rep picking us up and Mary needing an escort to class), God blessed in tremendous ways! My first class went well. "Pedro" is really trying hard in class and I haven't had to reprimand him. In fact, he came up to me at the beginning of class to find out which homework assignments he is missing. We did an activity in class that I guessed my first class would like, but my second class would probably hesitate over. I had them make their own multiplication tables. The first class dove right in; students asking me if they were doing it correctly after they were already halfway through. My second class was as predicted. "Miss, we don't understand." "What, Miss?" Interestingly, when we used the class as a multiplication table (R is in the first row, first seat, he would be 1. S is in the second row, third seat, so what number would she be? 6), the students who have the hardest time sitting still and paying attention were able to answer the fastest.

My sixth grade classes were amazing! On Thursday I told them to come prepared for a discussion about why God created math. Many tried to give me their answers at the beginning of class, but I made them wait until the last fifteen minutes.

"A week ago we learned that God created math when He created the earth. So, today we're going to talk about why God created math."

I got all kinds of answers. "So Adam could count the animals." "So God could number the stars." "So we can go to the market and buy things" ... I stopped the discussion, "Wait a minute, did Adam go the market?" Bursts of laughter. "So if Adam didn't need to buy things, why would God create math at the beginning? You are giving me ways we use math, but think about a tornado. How do you know a tornado has been through the area?"

"Because of the carnage." (Big vocab word. You can tell Miss Julie was their literature teacher last year.)

"Right, because of the things you see on the ground, the effects of the tornado. You are giving me the effects of math. But explain to me the tornado itself. Why did God create math?"

The students started getting closer and closer, "So we can learn." "To understand."

"To understand what?"

One student answered, "Gravity."

"Now you are getting closer. What other laws of nature does math help us understand?"

We made a long list including the rising and setting of the sun, our breathing and heartbeat, the existence of the mountains, land, and water.

"We take these things for granted. We know them to be true. But what defines them? How do we explain them?"

The light is beginning to dawn on their faces. "Math?"

"Exactly! Math provides us with a framework to understand ..."

"God's creation!"

In one of my classes, a student piped up, "Miss, we don't have to worry about those things because God rules them. He makes sure they happen." I explained that God controls them, but has given us math to understand them. She replied, "Oh ... so then we can develop the earth based on what we know." Exactly. Math is important.

Such an answer to prayer, especially with these students who have so fiercely resisted my "new" style of teaching. I had students telling me at the break that this is the first year they have actually done well in math. Others are more subjective, “Miss, every year I HATE math, but this year, I love math.” And then I had a teacher come up to me. "Miss, the students were asking me a question that I think you had asked them." I sucked in my breath, "Uh-huh." "Something about the natural elements and why is math important. I told them I didn't know. I hate math! Then they told me that Miss Helen says, 'Math is everywhere. That it explains all the nature around us.' This is really good Miss. Before, they only have teachers that tell them that math is numbers and plus and minus. They don't understand that it is important and that they need it all the time." I am relieved. And then I am thrilled. The students' understanding of what I am teaching them is growing. Multiplying really. If each student passes on one idea to two of their friends, the exponential effects of that ... well, eternity will tell! :)

After school, we had a fun surprise. The shipment from America came in! They brought the gray crates into the resource area and started cutting off strip ties. After counting up our boxes and checking the contents, we (and by that I mean, Andy, John, and one of the school guards) carted them back down the hill to a taxi. Several students asked about the boxes, but only one of them offered to help us load them into the taxi (I was very pleased that he was one of my students!) Once we arrived home, we dove into the boxes and unloaded them. I brought a lot of books and school supplies (special prizes for the students who meet their goals at the end of the semester). Unfortunately, the drill that Grandpa gave me is missing. I will have to find out if it is still in America or got lost in transit. At 5pm, I was able to Skype with the family, which is always an encouragement.

Monday, September 24th:

We were given a ride to school again this morning. After her first class, Mary went with the school administration to the security office to file an official complaint regarding the Facebook threat. We hoped she would be back before John needed to teach his classes, but we had a backup plan just in case.

Grade 5B started out noisier than yesterday. “Pedro” is still doing well. By the end of class, I had written a lot of names on the board since students were out of their seats and talking to each other. As I was showing students their phase averages (grades), someone erased all the names. Still trying to figure out how to deal with that problem… We had a discussion at the end of both fifth grade classes about facts. Our discussion led in the same direction as sixth grade, but I wanted to use terms that they are using in math. We made the connection that facts are not just “multiplication facts” and “addition facts,” but truth and reality. We listed examples of facts on the board. Then I asked them how we explain facts to other people. “In English.” “Arabic.” “Kurdish.” “No, we use a universal language. Do you know what it is?” In 5B (despite the growing chaos), one student guessed it. “Math!”

6B is usually my best class, but today they were pretty noisy. We worked through the lesson and then I had them work quietly on the problems while I showed everyone their phase grades. I hope it will help the less-motivated students to turn in their homework before the end of the phase. I ended up staying with them into the break to answer their questions and make sure they knew which assignments they were missing.

When I walked into 6A, they were silent. Yesterday I told them (I actually wrote it on the board since I couldn’t talk over them) that if I walked in and the entire class was working quietly on their warm-up problems AND they could listen quietly during the entire lesson, I would let them have a day of no homework. I was impressed that all of the students were trying so hard … especially since I came in half way through their break! They still had 15 minutes before class started. I let them off the hook and told them to enjoy their break. During the break, I talked with John and since Mary still wasn’t back from the police station, we went to our back-up plan. I explained to his 7^th grade class that I would be teaching them (well, supervising them) simultaneously with my 6^th grade class. They needed to read the lesson, then start working on the homework problems. If they weren’t working when I came back to check on them, they would have to copy sentences for me for the rest of class instead of going to the garden. I talked to two of my 6^th graders about cheating; then started class as everyone finished their warm-up. I was thankful that my 6^th graders wanted to impress me, since being out of our normal routine could have easily led to bedlam. After I explained the lesson, they started working on the problems in the book. I told them it would be really hard to earn a no-homework day since I would have to leave and check on 7^th grade and there would be opportunity to find them talking when I got back. They actually did really well. When I went back to 7^th grade, they were just finishing up the problems. I quizzed each student on the lesson before allowing them to leave, and then rushed back to 6^th grade. They were working quietly and I was able to reward them with no homework just as their next teacher walked in. Phew! The 45 minute session felt like ten minutes, but it was a good test to see how well my students can do when they know what is expected of them. Thankful to see the blessings…

I met H, her husband, C, and their son after school for juice and cookies. (I tutored her son last year and he is now going to CSM – an answer to prayer!) We drove to a place right around the corner from our house. I’d been there once before with Julie. It turns out that H and C know the owner; he was very friendly and generous. I had a pomegranate slushy and we ordered a variety of cookies that tasted really good. We had a nice talk and caught up on the events of the summer.

When I got home, I took a quick nap and finished grading homework. At 6, the team met up at John and Mary’s to find out how things went at the security office. On the way over, some of the neighborhood boys were coming up the stairs. They were holding a box with … baby chicks! Unfortunately, they only spoke Kurdish and mine doesn’t reach beyond market and taxi lingo. Through hand gestures, I realized that they were trying to give me the chicks! I told them I had nowhere to keep them, but they were insistent. Sarah came out and recorded some of our dialogue. After asking them what I would do with the chicks, they tried the little English they knew. “I love you. You take.” I finally remembered the magical phrase that means no. “Supas. Supas,” I said. Or “Thank you. Thank you.” Almost immediately, they picked up the box, turned and walked down the stairs. It was one of those random, awkward experiences that make for a good laugh. Over Pizza Hot and French Fries, Mary told us about her morning. She said the “report” went well – lots of people reassuring her that this was Duhok and she’d be safe. We were comforted knowing that Duhok is still in God’s control and we’d all be safe for that reason. Ice cream for dessert, then I played with Zander in the living room. Henry got new toys in the shipment from America, so we built a city out of foam blocks. Henry joined us. At point he could not stop giggling as we knocked over the blocks and tossed them in his direction. A fun way to end the evening.

September 17th and 18th: A Little Bit of Progress and Lot of Heartbreak

Monday, September 17th:
Sarah and I have been lamenting the fact that we are missing all things FALL - Monday night football, spiced lattes, and leaves changing colors.

This morning was tough for my students. I warned them that anyone talking during the test would receive a zero. Apparently they didn't believe me. Three of the students were sent outside to "reflect" on their behavior. Instead of staying outside, they came back in and distracted the other students. I took their tests and tore them in half. Though the three acted undaunted, the other students in the class realized I was serious, and we had a fairly quiet class afterwards. When students finished their test, they had to write an apology note to Miss Sarah. "Miss, why do you keep saying, 'Miss Sarah, Miss Sarah?' We don't want to talk about it anymore." They actually noticed! I explained that it is very important that they treat guests respectfully and that we will continue to talk about "Miss Sarah" until they realize that their behavior was disrespectful.

My second class went well and I didn't have to give anyone zeroes. After they finished, they wrote thank you notes to Miss Mary. My other classes wrote notes as well. During morning devotions, I had prayed that my students would learn to love others and I realized how much they needed it when each class would ask, "But, Miss, what do we say?" Many of them copied down what I had intended to be a suggestion, "Thank them for being here while I was gone since you wouldn't have had anyone to teach you."

In sixth grade, I waited for the students to quiet down before handing out their tests. In the meantime, I wrote “minus points” on the whiteboard and wrote down a tally mark each time they started talking. In the end, both classes lost 3 points off their tests.

Stayed after school with Sarah and graded papers. For the walk home, we bought ice cream bars and enjoyed an after school treat. When we got home, Mary invited us over for tea. It was a nice time to catch up and relax together. I was able to get some grading done before we went back to their place for dinner. Mary made falafel, which we ate on flatbread with cucumber-yogurt dressing, tomatoes, and onions. Yummy! It was nice to eat an early dinner as I had lots of time afterwards to finish grading tests and homework. I had my first class tell me on the back of their test papers something about their class I should know. One student wrote, “Miss they hate you because last year you didn't teach the lesson you just put X’s next to names. But this year you are better.” Ouch! Hard words to swallow, making me doubt my discipline policy and wonder what I ought to do better. I wasn't able to see that I could do anything differently considering that no one hears the lesson when the students are misbehaving, but I did ask the Lord to help me learn and stay focused on teaching each lesson.

Tuesday, September 18th:
Mary is not feeling well, so Sarah subbed for her class. We enjoyed a nice walk to school and noticed that it was actually "chilly" (not Grants Pass chilly, but Iraqi chilly).

My first class went fairly well. It is a challenge to be consistent with discipline, especially when it doesn't seem to have much effect. Three of the boys continue to cause problems on a daily basis, but the boys who are “on the fringe” are doing a little better. In my first and second class, we made it through two chapters in the book, which was a feat in itself. I was thankful to catch up after missing a day when there wasn't any paper for my tests. The students seemed to understand the material, which made it a double blessing.

Sixth grade went well. They were not pleased when they realized that I actually subtracted points for talking. When they complained, “But it wasn't me, Miss,” I told them that I was serious about no talking during tests and that their entire class had to take responsibility since one person wouldn't be talking unless others were listening. Most of the students had turned in extra homework problems, so their grades were largely unaffected. I hope it served as a reminder that I mean what I say and will follow through. Before looking at our lesson, I told them I needed two minutes outside the text. In each class, I explained that math was not simply writing answers on the board for them to copy. I even went on to say that writing up answers was a terrible way to teach math. My goal was not to have them know the right answers, but to understand the ideas. Those ideas would affect the way they looked at the world around them for the rest of their lives. The students responded to my enthusiasm and agreed to be patient and "stick with it" even if my teaching method was different. "It may feel uncomfortable, but that's how you know you are growing." Those words have been ringing in my head since I got here. I actually took the idea from a workout article - "adapting to a set routine is what stalls progress." And I've been applying that concept to the way life works here. We strive to stay in our comfort zone, but God calls us out to teach us and grow us. I often react like my students - complaining, goofing off, or asking why without any trust.

During the long break, I took “Pedro” aside and talked to him. I felt like I gave the same spiel about consequences for bad behavior, but this time he seemed more attentive since we were talking one-on-one. It turns out he wants to earn a "Your student was TERRIFIC today" more than anything. I told him it was not very difficult. He simply needed to listen, do his work, and not distract the other students. I was encouraged by his reaction and tried to show through my words and actions that I care about him. "If you were the best student in my class, 'Pedro', I would be thrilled!" He looked at me questioningly, then beamed. "Really, Miss?"

Just after that, one of my fifth-grade students came up to me and told me that another student had made obscene gestures behind my back during class. I was shocked and didn't know how to respond. I knew I couldn't deal with the situation as it was too personal, and I was too stunned to even address it. I didn't doubt what the student said since I have noticed more perverse behavior and jokes in that class. Thankfully, Mr. B (the curriculum coordinator) walked by at that moment, and I asked him for his help. The student explained the situation. Mr. B was appalled, and went to talk to the student. I learned later that the accused-student denied doing it and even started crying. (It doesn't sound like either student denied that it had happened.) When the other student got side-tracked with how the class had been mistreating him, Mr. B didn't press it any further. He told the class that if anything like that was reported again, the student responsible would leave the school and not come back. Without anyone else knowing, he put the accused-student in charge of reporting any offenses to him...

It was a disheartening way to end the day. I was really heartbroken that my students would know something so obscene, let alone do something so obscene in front of everyone. Sarah also had a difficult last class. We talked on the way home about the frustration and discouragement of trying to be different from the local teachers, then being treated differently in a negative way. We want to discipline in love and teach in truth, but then we are treated with contempt and disrespect in ways that the local teachers would never be treated. We encouraged one another that Jesus also faced contempt and ridicule for coming in a lowlier state than the Jews had expected and for teaching hard lessons.

After scoring Multiple Intelligences tests for a little while, Sarah and I walked to Pizza Hot and ordered pizzas and french fries for dinner with John and Mary. Mary was still not feeling well, but better than before. We didn't stay long, since we wanted to pick up some food for tomorrow night's team dinner. Got home around 6:30, took showers, then finished paperwork while watching Swiss Family Robinson. Brought back good memories of acting it out with Hannah when we were kids.

Internet failure, so I spent part of the night uninstalling everything to try it again in the morning.

September 9th and 10th: A Few of My Favorite Things

Sunday, September 9th:
Happy news - I found out this weekend that I am getting paid more per class than last semester. Barring any surprise expenses, I hope to save up enough for a roundtrip ticket for Mom so she can come visit me (when she gets here, then I'll tell Dad that I could only afford a one-way!) :) Caleb is already planning on coming in December, but I don't think he will be able to make the trip alone. John, Mary and Sarah are planning on going home for Christmas break; Andy, Lisa and the kids will go visit another country then, so it would be nice to have Mom and Caleb here.

The highlight of the day occurred in my second class (5A). Following a very simple lesson from our book, I used the last fifteen minutes of class to ask the class, "Where did math begin?"
They spent several minutes guessing.
"Rome."
"America."
"Egypt."
At last, one student whispered something about Adam and Eve.
"Right! God created math when He created the earth."
Thoughtful looks.
"Well let's talk about it. Did man create math?"
Some students try to give examples of ways that we have "created" math, but I explain that we simply invented the symbols that help us explain math.
Another student points out that Adam didn't have the symbols, but he counted the animals.
"Exactly!" (My heart is beating faster and I know my excitement is evident.)
"So how do we know that 1 x 3 will still be 3 tomorrow?" Pause. "Think about this and come ready with an answer tomorrow. I'll give you a hint, it has something to do with the fact that it was created and Who created it."

During a break between classes, I had two girls come up to me and tell me they like math now. "You actually explain the lesson, Miss!" It was neat to see them so excited. They added, "We really like the 1 finger, 2 finger system too." Music to a teacher's ears! :)

My first class was pretty rowdy, so I ended up keeping five of the students during their long break, which meant they had to spend 15 minutes in my 6th grade class. It was tough, but as we talked about their behavior afterwards, each one responded with how they could be better tomorrow. Praying that there will be a break-through with each of my students.

Sarah and I had just started walking home, when one of the teachers offered us a ride. This particular teacher has been very friendly with John and Mary, and I got to know her a little bit last year. Most of her children are grown, and she is motherly in her concern for us. Thankful for the relationships with teachers and trusting that they will continue to develop.

Completed a lot of grading, just in time to Skype with the family. The computer made the rounds ... poor Dad went last and probably had the shortest amount of time since I had to leave so we could meet the team at Dream City. Andy and John have been under the weather the last two days, but feeling a little better today. We stopped in at the cafeteria and had some dinner, then went on the Ferris Wheel for a view of the city. There is no set number of cycles; we simply asked the operator to stop when we were finished. Apparently he couldn't stop the ride after just letting a new group on, so we had to wait to go around once more. :)

Sarah and I made a quick Mazi run afterwards (Dream City and Mazi are right next to each other.) We picked up groceries for Wednesday night's team dinner and a few other odds and ends. I had a migraine (they have been coming on more frequently this week) and my low back has started hurting again. I wore tennis shoes to Dream City, hoping that would alleviate some of the pain. God was very good to me and gave me the strength to be with everyone and get what we needed at Mazi. I even found a storage basket for my room, which I've been shopping for around town very unsuccessfully.

As I ended the night, I did some research on math, its origin, and how it shapes our view of the world. I found this interesting fact: "The New York Times reported that mathematicians believe in God at a rate 2 1/2 times that of biologists, quoting a survey of the National Academy of Sciences." Encouraged to know that there is a reason to teach math!

Monday, September 10th:
Talk S-L-O-W-E-R, talk S*L*O*W*E*R, talk S.L.O.W.E.R ... my mind kept repeating that over and over again today. Apparently some of the sixth grade students sit through an entire session without understanding half of what I've said. The primary student who keeps mentioning it likes to complain about everything, so I'm not convinced that it is simply my Western accent that is the problem. However, I know that I need to talk slower anyway ... based on a few experiments today, attention increases dramatically when I enunciate my words.

My first class was attentive up until the last 10 minutes. They can get a little talkative. However, I am focusing my efforts on some of the students that really use disruption to get attention. I read a website about classroom discipline and implemented some of their suggestions, including:
Give them extra responsibilities
Let them determine the consequence for misbehavior
Don't address them from the front of the class, but talk quietly at their desk

I tried to really think through each disruption that arose without allowing it to take too much time. Talking slower helped me process a little faster! I tried having the discussion from yesterday about "where did math begin?" with my first class, but they are less enthusiastic. I really have to remember that they prefer manipulative interaction! (I usually end up making four separate lesson plans for two math classes!)

My discussion in 5A was much more productive. The students came ready with their answers and could hardly wait until the last 15 minutes of class to talk about it.
"Math stays the same because God created it!"
"Good! But why does it stay the same? What happens to things that you and I create?"
We talked about making pots and drawing happy faces. "See how they change each time I create it? What do we know about God that explains why math stays the same?"
"He is the same!"
"Very good!"
We laughed at how difficult tests would be if math "facts" changed every day. How would you know the right answer?
At the end, I asked them to look up the word, "Constant." "This is a math term," I explained, "And you will find that it is a word that describes God too. We can be thankful that a constant God created math!"

In my sixth grade classes we reviewed Linear Measurement, but we also discussed mastery of a subject. They are constantly telling me before a lesson, "Miss, we already KNOW this." So today I wanted them to see that understanding isn't enough. They need to be able to apply, analyze, and evaluate. We talked about several examples of how we grow in our understanding - from how pencil sharpers work to toddlers asking why to my understanding of how to navigate around Duhok. It would be far from the truth to say that they were engrossed, but I hope they were at least challenged. And I did try to talk slower!

Exciting news! We got our residency cards today! This time around was sooo much easier! Definitely an answer to prayer.

When Sarah and I got home, I graded more papers (that is a recurring theme lately). Thankfully, I've discovered that listening to lectures while I grade doesn't make it seem so tedious. If my brain isn't focusing on something besides grading, all I can think of is how good a snack would be, or how uncomfortable I am, or how much longer this will take. :) Yesterday, I listened to a message on work - the primary goal of our work ought to be to help others. Today I listened to a message on greed, and I listened to it again. I am still in the digesting phase. It will probably take a few more times before I start to understand the application.

As I've been grading, I've also been asking myself, what is the relevancy of math? As a student, I was always self-motivated to learn math. My math professors in college rarely gave me any practical reason to further my studies, and it was my own interest that kept me motivated. However, I know that not all of my students have that inclination (in fact the majority do not.) As their teacher, I want to see my students interested in math, excited about the possibilities to learn more and the opportunities math will provide them. The question is, "How do I go about it?"

One student has already won my heart. He asked me a question today related to Algebra 2 and told me that he and his father are studying it at home! I can see his eyes light up when we talk about math and I love grading his papers - neat, orderly, easy to read, all the steps to solving the problem and the answer clearly given. It is motivating as a teacher to work with students who are excited to learn!

Around 5, we went over to John and Mary's for Pizza Hot pizza. Just as we sat down to eat, Plop. An olive landed in the ketchup on my plate. Thanks, John! I think that would go down in the Duhok Book of Memories... if it existed. Came home for more ... grading ... and an early bed. I didn't sleep very well last night, so I hope tonight will be better!

September 3rd and 4th: Dust, Discouragement, and Delight?

Monday, September 3rd:
Wanted to mention an interesting experience ... a few days ago, I put on the lotion that I had used exclusively during my first 5 months. As soon as I took a deep breath of it, the memories came flooding back. Nothing specific, but all the feelings brought on by different experiences during those first months. I've noticed that with other "familiar" smells - tea in the market, cigarette smoke, dolma, kerosene - but this was definitely the most intense experience yet.

All of my classes went well. I was challenged by Saturday's lesson to be the teacher that serves her students, uses day-to-day experiences as teachable moments, and knows the material. In some ways, math seems to be harder than art. The ability to create my own art lesson plans meant that I was able to find ways to communicate important lessons through the projects. Math is much more structured. My focus these last few days has been rules and procedures. I know this will help create a positive learning environment, but I feel discouraged when there is so much repetition and so little time for "real" student interaction. I fly from one class to the next, teaching through the younger students' break and preparing for class during the upper level break.

Despite the discouragement that overtakes me during times of reflection, the moments I spend in class are always energizing. The first class of the morning seems to be doing well with more structure. I really love each of the students in that class; my goal is to find a way to individually motivate them and connect with them. The next class went smoothly as well. Two of the boys weren't sure they wanted to implement the new procedures, but were more willing after they realized that all the other students (including the "new" kids) were doing it. I have two new girls in the class (in addition to the two new boys mentioned in another post). The one looks perpetually alarmed, and I am trying to figure out if that is her normal facial expression or if she is just adjusting to a new school.

At the end of each class, I handed out a slip of paper that read, "Your student was TERRIFIC today!" to the one who demonstrated the best behavior, participation, etc. Not only did that little piece of paper have a significant impact on the class, it was also a good reminder for me to look for the positive.

At 10am, as I walked into 6B, all of the students had their books open and were working on the in-class assignment SILENTLY! I was thrilled! They are an exemplary class. Everyone of them comes prepared with their materials and homework, having read today's lesson the night before. I will stay busy trying to challenge them.

After class, I helped the curriculum coordinator organize the library - out with the old books and in with the new. It is amazing how many books they fit into such a small space. When Sarah finished with her class, we walked down to the second-hand part of the market to find her a new schoolbag. She also bought a new shirt. We went through a couple different shops and had a 50% success rate. The shops we go to normally were closed, but thankfully we were able to find what we were looking for at the ones that were open. As we headed for home, it looked like a dust storm was moving across the mountains to the north.

I graded papers for most of the afternoon. At 6:30, the entire team met at the "Sheep" restaurant for meat tikka (or beef on a skewer). The meat was good and we enjoyed hanging out. In the evenings it is definitely cooler, so our walk home felt more like a relaxing stroll.

From this evening's devotion, "The Lord trieth the righteous" - "You are a tree that never would have rooted so well if the wind had not rocked you to and fro, and made you take firm hold upon the precious truths of the covenant of grace." May the winds of school and culture and loneliness cause me to take firm hold of Christ.

Tuesday, September 4th:
This morning I had a progress chart for "Pedro" (that is the name I gave him last year in the blog). I told him that each day he behaves well (i.e. doesn't get sent out of the room), I will put a smiley face on the chart. At the end, we will see how many smiley faces he has and I will show it to the principal and curriculum coordinator. He was pleased with the idea, which was evident in his behavior during class and test score (100%).

I gave a "Rules and Procedures" test in each of my classes. It was a good way to reinforce what we have been learning and reviewing the last few days. As a result of 6B turning in all of their homework, I was inspired to "make a deal" with both sixth grade classes. If they turn in all their homework until December, I will let them have a party. They negotiated for: cell phones, food, no math, no homework, and games. I made them stop at laptops, but I hope the "deal" will be a good way to reward the entire group for their diligence. (As a side note, turning in homework is usually optional. Not only has that been the standard in the past, but only one assignment per week is counted in the gradebook anyway, so many students don't worry about missing the other four.)

After we finished our classes, Sarah and I helped another teacher collate 120 phonics books (about 15 pages each) for her first graders. We managed to avoid paper cuts, but both of us ended up being attacked by the stapler! On the walk home, we both noticed that it was definitely warmer today. It was nice to walk into a cool, relatively smell-free apartment. Sarah and I changed into our lounging clothes, got a snack, and then separated to start on schoolwork.

After getting home, I felt tired ... tired of myself. I heard myself talking all morning long, then on the way home, I heard all the thoughts "myself" thinks throughout the day. Unfortunately, I found I was still stuck with "myself" even in my room at home. Poor Sarah ... she's stuck with "myself" too.

***

The realization that 50% of my job is paperwork hit me when I looked at the stack of papers I had been grading. I paused for a moment, feeling a sudden sense of urgency to figure out why I am here. Last year, I was certain that it was nothing but God's providence that brought me to Duhok. Trusting in His wisdom, my eyes were opened to see His work in this place, spiritual growth in my life, and encouragement for those back home. During the summer months in America, I didn't bother thinking about a reason for coming back - I simply knew I had made a commitment and that staying at home would have gratified the flesh. Sitting on my bed with two more classes to grade, I started to wonder if I shouldn't have taken the time to figure out why God wanted me to come back, and more importantly if I shouldn't try to figure it out right now. My eyes wandered up to the wall where I recently hung the words, "Delight in the Lord." I concentrated on the meaning and realized that I have my reason - God has brought me here to delight in Him. I long to have purpose, to be intentional, to know there is significance in what I am doing, but God is teaching me to delight only in Him. How easy it is to delight in what we have been given, or what we are doing ... and how hard it is to delight in Someone other than ourselves. Delighting in God means that I must come to know Him better. I am reading a book by Edwards on God's chief end. I pray that through the study, I will learn to pursue God's ends rather than my own.

August 27th: Germany and More News

The Journey:

I realized after my last post that I didn't give any info about my time in Germany or the flight here! I left Monday afternoon, August 20th. Mom, Dad and the boys came to Medford to see me off. We checked my bags, then went to lunch for one last Mexican meal. When we came back, we found out that my flight was delayed by a half hour, so we had more time than expected. It was a teary departure with Eithen telling me, "You a go to 'Roc' and come back tomorrow. Then I a be a happy." I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I was going to be gone twice as long this time...

I went through security without any problems and fell asleep on the plane, feeling emotionally exhausted. We arrived in Denver too late for me to make my flight to Germany. The difference between this trip and the last one became apparent when I didn't even feel nervous about missing my flight. Once again, it was a good reminder to depend on the Lord and to realize that if this is His endeavor, then He will get me where I need to be. After bouncing back and forth between terminals to talk to customer service, I rescheduled for the flight leaving the next day. United gave me a free night's stay in a hotel with three food vouchers. I took a shuttle to the hotel, which ended up being thirty minutes away. It was a beautiful hotel though and I was able to rest and relax.

Left on time the next morning and had lunch at the airport. Left for Frankfurt at 1:30pm and arrived the next day at 10am. I took the train to Stuttgart (which was a new experience and served to remind me that I can navigate my way through a foreign country. It helped to relieve some of my trepidation about going back to Duhok.) My German sisters, Katze and Carola, met me at the train station. It was such a relief to see them!

We ate a late lunch together, then Carola and I went for a walk in downtown Nurtingen while Katze worked on a school assignment. Carola and I were able to catch up on life (it's been 8 years since we've seen each other!) The next day we went to Heidelberg, walked around downtown, had Eiskaffees (coffee with vanilla ice cream - my favorite German past time and super YUMMY!) then took the train up to the castle.

Eiskaffee!

View of Heidelberg from the castle:

The castle:

My time in Germany was definitely a blessing. I was able to sight-see and take a breath before transitioning back to life in Duhok. I could get around fairly well, especially as my German-speaking skills came back more each day. After Heidelberg, Katze's parents made schnitzel for dinner. More yumminess! The next day we went to Tubingen where Carola and Katze are both attending university. We stopped by Carola's apartment first, then went to Katze's while Carola went to her physical therapy appointment. We met up again and had pfankuchen for lunch in downtown Tubingen. There were a lot of neat shops that we walked by. A stream runs in front of the houses, so each one has a little bridge going across to their door. After lunch, we went to a factory store and tried on dirndls:

For dinner, Katze's parents hosted a BBQ for the family. We shared pictures and enjoyed being with each other. Carola and Katze helped me print my boarding passes and discussed whether it would be better to drive part way to Frankfurt, then get on the train, or take the train the whole way. We finally decided on the latter. The next morning, Katze and her family drove me to Stuttgart where I got on the train to go to Frankfurt. (On the way to Stuttgart we heard over the radio that there was a large accident on the autobahn going to Frankfurt and all the lanes were closed. God had definitely gone before us when we decided I should take the train!) Made it through the check-in process and security without too many difficulties. I found the right gate, keeping an eye out for the Bishop's and for Sarah. As I turned to leave and take a look around the airport, there they were, walking towards me! It was a happy reunion! Got one last Eiskaffee before we boarded. We found out that the Nelson's weren't going to be able to make it, so that was a disappointment. In Erbil, we got on our big bus with all our luggage and the rest ... is history (or at least in the last blog post)!

Monday, August 27th:

Moving ahead to today... Bishop's, Nelsons, Sarah and I went to the school in the late morning. We were greeted warmly by the teachers and got to catch up with all of them while we waited. It was one more thing to help me feel settled back into the life here. We met with the curriculum director who gave us our curriculum and yearly plans. It is good to be back to work!

When we got back to the apartment around 2pm, the city electricity was out (haven't had that happen in the last three months!) Sarah and I visited with John and Mary since our generator power wasn't working either. Around 4pm we took a taxi to Mazi and introduced Sarah to our local supermarket! After unloading our groceries at home, we got in another taxi and met the Bishop's at Shindokah Restaurant. We got our first team picture:

And introduced Sarah to after-dinner-tea:

Thankful to be here with a loving team, a great job, and a Father who is faithful and caring!

May 27th through 28th (Days 140-141): Patience and Prayer

May 27th:
This morning I went over to John and Mary's for a French toast breakfast before heading off to school. It was a great start to a busy day. From 9 until 10, I oversaw the English final for one of my third grade classes. After the students finished, I had to make sure the corner of every final was folded over to hide the student's name. I meandered around the garden to visit with students, then when most of the tests had been turned in, I went back to the teacher room to help grade. John was there again, so we teamed up on the 7th grade finals. Afterwards we headed over to Andy and Lisa's for Zander's pool party! It was a splash, I mean, a blast! :) Got to help finish off the brownies, then Andy, Lisa, and I cleaned up from the party and headed out to the market. (Lisa got someone to watch the kids during their nap.) We had a good time at the market and explored some new stores. Andy and Lisa were able to find some gifts to take home.

After they dropped me off at the apartment, I got to work and did a ton of cleaning. Rolled carpets, washed floors, scrubbed the laundry room, did three loads of laundry, and moved furniture. Got the second bedroom ready for Sarah, my roommate next year. I was pretty tired by the time the Skype call came around. I got to Skype with Dad, Caleb, and Stephen at 7am (their time), then with Mom, Hannah, John, and Eithen up in Portland at 8am PST. Eithen kept giving me webcam kisses ... it hurt thinking about how nice it will be to get them in person.

Spent some time reading ... experiencing one of those moments when the body is too tired to sleep and the mind keeps right on moving. I think God is teaching me patience. The challenge is to lay aside what I am trying to attain and set it out of my thoughts. It is one thing to realize that God wants me to wait, but it is another to trust Him completely with the outcome.

May 28th:
After another yummy French toast breakfast with J&M, I spent most of the day cleaning. It was the kitchen's turn today. I cleaned out cupboards, scrubbed down walls, deep-cleaned the stove, and put away all the kitchen goodies that we got from Dan and Julie. It took a lot longer than I thought. The blessing was that my thinking turned into praying as I cleaned. It is amazing what the mind thinks to pray for while the hands are busy scrubbing. Among other things, I asked the Lord to help me be a better sister, daughter, and friend when I return home, and a better teammate when I return here in the fall. At noon, I took a little Henry-break. Since it was Mary's birthday, John took her out to lunch while I watched Henry during his naptime.

In the afternoon, I finished cleaning, took a shower and got ready to go back to their place for our team dinner. The group feels a lot smaller now that we are down to five adults. John picked up pizzas and "finger chips" from the local "Pizza Hot." We enjoyed a nice meal together ... or as Zander put it, "with the whole family." Mary made Oreo milkshakes (we found Oreos here the other day - SCORE!) for a yummy dessert. We sang "Happy Birthday" to Mary, then split up around 8, so the little ones could get to bed. Off to a relaxing evening...

May 21st through 22nd (Days 134-135): Getting Ready to Say Goodbye

May 21st:
My last full day of school. Well, it was supposed to be, but in typical Kurdish style, we found out the morning of that school would end at 1pm. My 9:15 class went well. I wrote review notes on the board for the students to copy. They sat quietly and wrote everything down! During the break I talked with students and visited with teachers, asking about their summer plans and trying to arrange a time to hang out. It was a day of mixed feelings. On the one hand I was so happy to spend my last day with all of these students and teachers that I've come to know and appreciate; on the other hand, it was hard to think of saying goodbye so soon.

My 12:15 class did not go as well. Some of the boys have determined not to do anything I tell them. I wrote all the notes on the board and told them it was their choice to study them for their final. Only a few girls decided to copy them down. Even when I suggested playing games, the boys came back with, "We don't want, Miss!" It was disheartening, but as soon as class ended they were all friendly with me again. At 1pm, everyone went home. I sat with my kids one last time ...

When I got home I spent some time reflecting on the last few months. Came away amazed at how blessed and privileged I have been to teach these kids! I can't wait for next year! Overwhelming emotions led to a one hour nap. Still not feeling completely energized when I woke up, but needed to make bruschetta for our team dinner. Julie made a balsamic noodle bowl and Mary made bread (hence the bruschetta). Lisa made a pumpkin cheesecake for dessert. We had a great time of devotions, spending most of it in prayer. A nice Skype call with Dave, then ready to go home.

When I got home, I had an email from Caleb saying that he had had a hard day and needed to talk. We were able to get on Skype and talk together. Getting ready to transition back home to the ones who need me there.

May 22nd:
Spent the morning gleaning wisdom from Julie with regards to 5th grade literature (one of the classes I'll be teaching next year). Afterwards, Dan, Julie, and I enjoyed lunch together, then worked on cleaning out some of their cupboards and taking down pictures. They leave on Saturday! Since they won't be coming back in the fall, we are cleaning out their house, getting it ready for the next tenants. Went over to Andy and Lisa's afterwards. We were just going to catch up, but they ended up having visitors and invited me to stay a little bit longer. It is always fun to hang out with the people on our team. Lisa is really good at making me feel welcome and letting me be a part of their home.

We had originally been told that sometime today we would be invited over for dinner with the governor, but when we hadn't heard anything by 4pm, we decided to make other arrangements. We gathered up the team and headed out to Vin House. Enjoyed a burger (still can't wait to eat a real juicy one in the States) and fries. From there we walked to Mazi and bought some ice cream.

On the way to Mazi:

Zanderman!

Went back to Dan and Julie's to have cake and ice cream. Took some team photos and reveled in one more evening together... not too many of those left as Dan, Julie, and Stacy head out this Saturday!

Came home, watched another part of "Our Mutual Friend" with John and Mary, then ready for bed. A late night, but hey ... no school tomorrow!

May 13th through 14th (Days 126-127): When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemon Bars!

May 13th:
Woke up this morning with a bit of a cloud hanging over me. Spent time praying through it, but still had some heaviness as I went to school. The weather matched my mood. The city was covered with a dust cloud. Even the shadows on the sidewalk seemed dusty.

The 9:15 math class was trying. There was a dead bird in the room that kept disrupting class, though I'm sure it would've chosen to die elsewhere if it had known what a ruckus it would cause. The boys could not sit still at all. I ended up keeping some of them through the break and re-teaching the lesson. Graded papers during my break and turned in the final exam with answers to the curriculum coordinator. They collected them in manila envelopes (each one labeled with a specific grade and subject).

The 11am art class went well, but I had to break up a cat fight at the beginning of class. (Sounds like I was teaching anatomy - from birds to cats.) Two of the girls were clawing at each other because one of them had moved her desk, which intruded on the other girl's space. Of course neither of them took responsibility. We went into the hall and because they wouldn't apologize, I made them write apology letters during class. By the end of the period, they were smiling and best friends again. They decorated and re-decorated their letters, showing them to each other intermittently, so that there really wasn't any need to force the exchange.

During the half hour break, I continued grading papers. The end of the phase is coming up, so students are anxious to improve their grades. The 12:15 class was quiet when I came in (except for their now routine, top-of-the-lungs greeting). Two of the boys kept talking and being disruptive, but I tried to move through the lesson. All of a sudden something happened and a fight between them broke out. I sent the main antagonist into the hall, and continued the lesson in peace. When I let him back in after "5 minutes" - it may have extended a little beyond ;) - I thought we would finish the class quietly. I brought the other boy to the front of the room and had him work through one of the problems on the board. All of a sudden, a full, .33L water bottle came shooting to the front of the room like a missile. It was intended for the student, but hit the board right between us and barely missed my head. I had to react fast as boy #2 reached down for the bottle and tried to throw it back. I disarmed him of the first one, but he had a second one before I could blink. It barely missed boy #1, who picked it up and launched it again. I ended up deflecting it with my hand so that it wouldn't hit any of the other students. There was a cease fire. I dragged both of them outside as the Arabic teacher entered the room. The boys would not apologize. The Arabic teacher got upset with them for causing me grief, but they still refused. I told them they would have to write apology letters (deja vu?) to turn in tomorrow. I rushed off, needing to meet up with H and J. It bothered me that I couldn't follow through and would have to wait until tomorrow.

A quiet taxi ride to H's (which is always a blessing) and a good time with J. H is feeling better (her allergies have been bothering her). And J is really improving in his reading. We had a nice time together, though I really had to pray that the Lord would help me leave the incidents at school behind. He answered my prayer and gave me the strength to encourage H and be completely attentive to J. There was road construction along the main route back home, so the taxi driver had to take the long way. Thankfully I was wearing my sunglasses and he couldn't ask me any questions. (I bought some new "Kurdish" sunglasses when I went to the market with T. Since wearing them, I've noticed that I don't get honked at or "nee-howed" wherever I go. The dark hair comes in handy!)

Got home and felt like a pity party, but realized that my discouragement was merely the result of relying in my own power to resolve the issues at school. God had clearly given me wisdom during the "cat fight" - I was able to pray while taking the girls out of the class, but I had gotten distracted when dealing with the boys and didn't seek His help. My pity party didn't last long and I went over to John and Mary's for a visit.

Came home and Skyped with the family. (Happy Mother's Day, Mama!) Eithen is changing, but still gives me lots of kisses on the webcam. Good to talk with everyone (except Caleb and Stephen who were spending the night at a friend's). Afterwards I did some crazy baking and made lemon bars for our team dinner with another batch to take to school. I also made more granola. Tired, but in a better mood by bedtime.

May 14th:
Got to school and finished grading papers just in time for class. Students are starting to turn in a lot more homework as the phase comes to end, so that also means more time spent grading for me. When I walked into class this morning, I told the kids that if they didn't want to be in class, they were free to leave. If I wrote their names on the board and they didn't go to the garden, then I would take them to the principal after class. They were amazed that I would let them go to the garden without "minusing" them (meaning penalizing them). I assured them that they wouldn't be penalized, but that it was their choice to come to class and learn. If they didn't want to, they could go outside. On the other hand, if they kept other students from learning, then I would have to deal with their misbehavior. The first offender was pretty excited at going to the garden, taunting his classmates, who (to my relief) weren't impressed. He noticed their reaction and hesitated at the doorway. I told him that if he didn't stand outside but continued to disrupt, he would see the principal. He chose to stand in the doorway and stood as still as I've ever seen him for 20 minutes. There were other boys who crossed the line and left. They also stood just outside the classroom and eventually asked to come back in and learn. Two boys, fifteen minutes before class ended, decided that it would be fun to go to the garden and they left, but a teacher confronted them, asked why they were outside and sent them back to apologize. I ended up keeping them through part of their break. We didn't cover as much material as I would've liked, but I did see improvement.

During the break all the teachers told me how much they liked the lemon bars. A success towards my goal - introducing new foods to the country, one dessert at a time! It is really fun to have them talk to me now and include me in their conversations (which sometimes means that one of them will have to translate). Nadia has mentioned everyday how much fun she had taking me to dummbalah!

My 12:15 class got the same lecture about not being in class if they didn't want to learn. By the end of class three boys were standing in the hallway. They tried to disrupt class, but thankfully the rest of the students were engaged in the lesson, at least until the last 10 minutes of class. At that point they started talking and wouldn't settle down. Apparently they weren't attentive for the teacher after me either and it was decided that they would lose both breaks tomorrow. I'll probably help cover some of that time and have them review for their test.

I stayed at the school until 2:30 and hung out in the teacher room. The cleaning lady is quite a character; if words could clean, the school would be sparkling. As it is, the gossip circulates and so does the dirt. Jaco is very friendly though and everyone gets along with her. She enjoys teaching Assyrian to anyone who is willing to learn - I've picked up a few phrases, though my pronunciation doesn't meet the standard John has already set. In the break room, Jaco was teaching one of the Arabic-speaking teachers some Assyrian and I started to catch on to what they were referring to (the conversation was in Arabic). The lesson extended into English as another teacher translated for me. It was fun to learn with them and laugh at our mistakes - it is so easy to feel waaayyyy behind everyone else because they can speak at least two and usually closer to four languages.

I like to stay until 2:30 because then I get to talk to the kids as they load up or wait for their rides. They asked me if I was coming back next year and hoped I'd be teaching them. As it stands right now, it looks like I'll be teaching 5th grade math and story.

When I got home, I took a nap (with all the Assyrian floating around in my brain). Then headed off with John, Mary, Henry, and Stacy to our team meeting. We have the funniest team ever. Zander wanted us to sing along to his "drumming," so we all launched into a song (that Zander didn't know). A snapshot of the moment would've revealed six adults belting out "I've Been Working on the Railroad." We struggled to remember all the lines, but by the second time through we had it down. Now how often do you get a group of adults singing kids songs? Shows what happens when you are immersed in an ESL community! :) We had a nice summery meal. Lisa made a fruit salad and a cajun bulgur salad; Julie made red pepper hummus; and Mary made pretzels! We topped it off with lemon bars for dessert and a devotional that looked at the depths of creation (and all the new discoveries they are making at the bottom of the ocean). We ended the night with our Skype call to Dave and Lisa and taxied home.

Feeling emotionally tired as I think of ending the school year ... I will definitely miss my students. Two and half months back home seems like a long time to be away from them, but then I know that the time will fly by and I'll be missing "home" life once again. Leaving is bittersweet. I can't wait to get back to the things that are familiar, but will miss all the things that I've worked so hard at that have become familiar here. Trying to be rooted and built up in God, established in the faith that He is working all things according to His purpose and for His glory. When my affections are bound up in Him, then no matter where I go or what I am doing, as long as it is with Him, I will have all my joy and happiness. So then the goal must be, to "live to the hilt every situation I believe to be the will of God" (Jim Elliot).

May 7th through 8th (Days 120-121): HaPpInEsS

May 7th:
Really warm first thing this morning. I find that I have to walk on the shady side of the street, otherwise I've worked up a sweat by the time I get to school. (Perhaps it is more lady-like to say that I start perspiring? glowing? glistening?) The test went well in both classes. My afternoon math class was funny ... each class is supposed to greet their teacher, "Good Morning, Miss ..." or "Good Afternoon, Mister ..." Well today they weren't quite in unison, but at least they remembered that it was the afternoon (I usually tease them if they say "Good Morning.") Anyway, the third class down the hall really has it down. Just as my class was getting quiet and preparing for their test, the teacher must have walked into their room, because they belted out a loud, perfectly-timed greeting. My fourth graders looked at me, and I asked, "Do you think you can do better than that?" On the count of three, they had the whole hall echoing! It was pretty funny. I peeked my head out and looked at the third graders and they shook their heads, defeated.

During my breaks I had some funny conversations with the teachers. The guys were talking about their marriages - the meals they thought their wives would be able to cook, but learned afterwards that they couldn't, the jobs that their wives ask them to do around the house. It is funny that in a place so different from America, the conversations can sound so similar!

As I walked home, a dust storm kicked up. It was extremely windy and I was thankful I had brought my sunglasses ... I ended up wearing them to protect my eyes from the dust. Got home and made the meal for team dinner (pasta, parmesan, "sausage," and a little bit of arugula - a family recipe, except we usually have broccoli with it). Around 4, I went over to Mary's and we had some iPad time. She just got an iPad (her brother brought it from the States), so we played Scramble With Friends on our iPads ... I guess you could call it, cultivating our friendship via technology :) John watched a Star Trek episode while we played.

We taxied to Dan and Julie's for our team meeting. Since they won't be coming back next year, we spent some of our team time marking the things we would like for our apartments/houses. The rest will be sold to new, non-SGI family moving into their house. We ate a nice meal together. Julie made green beans with almonds, Lisa made cheesy bread, and Mary made cinnamon rolls for dessert. We laughed together A LOT. Next to the times when I get to help others, I think I'm happiest when everyone else is happy. Just seeing everyone bond over our students' antics and laughing about funny stories really made my day. Sitting around the table, sharing a meal together, I was reminded how much like a family we have become. Afterwards, we split into groups and shared how we're doing spiritually. As excited as I am to go home, I will miss these individuals who have helped me live life in such a challenging environment, laughed and cried with me, navigated difficult situations with me, and built me up.

May 8th:
The dust seems to have cleared up. At some point yesterday I realized that I haven't been consciously calling out to the Lord as often throughout the day, so this morning I spent time praying that God would remind me to depend more on Him. My morning class was tough ... and I asked the Lord for help a lot. (God answers prayer!) I had planned on letting them go to the garden because they had done so well on their test, but they couldn't sit still and be quiet long enough to get the lesson done quickly. I ended up keeping 8 boys after class. Three were given a warning for specific things they had done, three were held five minutes into their break, and the last two I was going to take to the principal. One of the boys had lied to me and told me he needed to go to the bathroom and went to the principal instead (showing him his test and saying that I had marked him wrong for a question he had done correctly); the other grabbed a girl's hair and was dragging her over the desk. They burst into tears when I told them they would need to see the principal - because I (and other teachers) have taken them so often, they've been told that they will be "dismissed" if there are further problems. I told them that they should have thought of that ahead of time, then prayed silently for wisdom. I told them that because they had hurt someone else (versus simply taking up my class time or talking, which only hurts themselves), I couldn't grant mercy and they would need to accept some kind of punishment. I decided that they both needed to write apology letters and turn them in tomorrow (neither of them seemed very pleased, but that wasn't the point). If they don't turn them in, then they will have to see the principal ... time will tell.

My 10:15 art class was pretty good. I told a few of the boys during the break that my 4th grade class was not very good for me, and would they help me out today? They agreed and were actually the best students in class. Some of the boys get incensed pretty quickly ("Miss, he say bad words to me.") and at least one tussle will break out. Today it didn't happen until nearly the end of class. It was definitely a better session than it has been the past few weeks.

My 12:15 math class remembered yesterday's greeting and topped it today! Most days, I have more fun with this second group of fourth graders. They are attentive and responsive, so I feel I can be a little more flexible. Unfortunately the last time I released them to the garden, they weren't very good for their Arabic teacher after me, so I told them today that I wouldn't let them go to the garden even though they had done well on their test. They were disappointed, but I hope they will remember that privilege comes with responsibility. Three of the boys were not attentive at all today, and I had to take them aside after class.

Worn out by the time school ended. But had a nice conversation with another teacher before heading for home. As I was leaving, the kids were just getting on their buses and some were sitting around waiting for their rides. I decided to stop and talk with them and it was nice to listen to them jabber away without having to tell them to be quiet and get to work. They asked me later why I stayed and I told them that I wanted to hear more about them instead of making them always listen to me. One of my little fourth graders (who has a brother in eighth grade) insisted on giving me a ride home, so I waited until their father showed up and got a ride with them.

I am becoming very Kurdish ... I ate, then took a nap when I got home. (A lot of the teachers that I've asked take naps in the afternoon, eat, grade papers, then sleep again from 2 in the morning until 6 or something like that). Anyway, I don't think I'll be going to bed at 2 any time soon! When I got up, I worked on the last test for math and the final (almost finished with it), then went over to John and Mary's around 8pm. We watched the first half of "Our Mutual Friend," based on the book by Charles Dickens, which I read and successfully finished two months ago. We've been trying to watch it since then, but just haven't had time. Mary made some amazing milkshakes - vanilla ice cream, milk, instant coffee, and chocolate pieces. Yummo! It was a good filler for my "Starbucks Frappuccino" craving... Mary and I managed to squeeze in a "couple" rounds of Scramble on our iPads too :P

Every night I find I can go to bed thankful for something! So much happiness ... my desire is to see it all coming from God, so that as the trials come, my affections will be grounded in Him.

April 29th through 30th (Days 112-113): Tired, but Trusting

April 29th:
Went to bed last night thinking about why it bothers me so much when people come up and tell me that I must be from China or Korea or Japan. It's happened a couple times in the last few days and I can get really upset by it. When I tell them I'm from America, they scoff and tell me that my parents must be Asian. Sometimes I feel like I have to go through my entire history just to convince them that I'm American. When I look in the mirror, I often think that my outward appearance isn't an accurate representation of who I really am, but then I have to wonder, "Who am I, really?" When I get down to the heart of it, I belong to God, which means that no human form will ever be an accurate representation. "When He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is." I read through some Scriptures and found comfort in seeing how often Christ was mis-identified as only "the son of a carpenter," an unprofitable Nazarene, and as being bound in his relationship to his earthly brothers and sisters. Though perfect and sinless, the outward appearance that Christ took on Himself, being without form or comeliness, associated Him with sinful man. People scoffed at our Savior when He told them that He was not of this world and became angry when He declared Himself to be God. He didn't try to convince them or argue with them, He showed them by His works who He was. "For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother."


Went over for French toast with John and Mary and their guests. We had a nice time talking, then sang some hymns together and listened to a sermon from John and Mary's pastor in Pennsylvania. I left for school a little early and had some copies made for Mary (naturally, there was enough paper and ink for her print job!)


The "rowdy" class had some trouble settling down. So finally for the last 25 minutes of class, I made them sit with their hands folded and wrote their names on the board if they made even the slightest noise. When they realized I was serious, they started to quiet down. We'll see if it lasts into tomorrow...

At 10:15, I subbed for the science teacher for my second fourth grade class. We went through the lesson and did some of the practice problems. When I saw them again 12:15, we finished working on the lesson problems and then I released them to the garden for about 20 minutes.

My 11am art class went REALLY well. They are working on making their own books. I am giving them the sentences (borrowed from a book I read when I was little), then they are drawing the pictures. Today they drew a picture of themselves over the words, "God always sees me." Every student in the class (except for two) worked diligently and did their best. I was really impressed with the drawings they produced!

At 1pm, I went to H's to tutor J. We had a nice time, even though H has bad allergies right now. She fixed me some yummy pasta and then made me waffles with ice cream, chocolate sauce, pancake syrup, and banana slices! SUPER GOOD! J wasn't too motivated today and really wanted to draw, so I wrote words on the paper, which he drew after reading the word aloud.

Took a taxi to the market and bought a lot of the gifts I was looking for. Felt very successful. Came home and Skyped with the family. The boys had lots of fun things to tell me. At 6pm, John, Mary, Matt, Brad, Henry and I went to dinner at Shendokah, which is a pretty fancy restaurant and hotel on the other side of town. We ate outside ... the weather was perfect. I had parzola which is like a lamb chop. I really enjoyed it. It was nice to sit around and share experiences (well, most of the time ... sometimes I feel like I answer a little too eagerly, wanting to talk in English and say something about what I'm learning here. It brings out a side of me that isn't pleasant.) After dinner it was a little harder to squeeze into one taxi, but we made it home!

April 30th:
Three locals have told me that I look tired in the last few days, so apparently I must really look as tired as I feel! Got some good sleep last night, but between the heat and my allergies I don't have as much energy as usual.

Yesterday I told the "rowdy" class that whoever did not bring their homework today would go to the principal. Four students failed to bring it! We ended up sitting with our hands folded again; it was unbelievable to see how many of them kept pushing and pushing - talking, moving their desks, throwing pieces of eraser - primarily the four who didn't turn in their homework. In the end, I took them to the principal, but I'm not sure what their discipline was.

During the break I graded papers and watched Matt and Brad play soccer with the kids. Three first grade girls came up spontaneously and gave me hugs, held my hand, and told me their names. It was nice to get so much love! I definitely count that as one of God's blessings. During the break, I also gave the curriculum coordinator the names of the students who have turned in less than three of the six homework sets I have assigned. He is anxious to have their grades improve, but I told him that they can't improve if they aren't turning in homework. He agreed and said he would talk to them.

My 12:15 class went well. I feel like I can have a little more fun with their group - even if they are being noisy, they will respond and quiet down when I speak to them. We were about 15 minutes into the lesson when the curriculum coordinator and the principal came into the room. They asked if they could interrupt for about 5 minutes, then proceeded to call the names of the kids on my "no homework" list. They made them stand at the front of the classroom and went through each one, scolding them for only turning in ___ homework sets out of  the six. It was an agonizing process, especially as I watched the students sit back down somewhat disheartened. After the principal and c.c. left, I took a minute to tell the class that when they get in trouble, I feel like I am getting punished too. I want to help them and encourage them, but can't make them turn in their homework. They seemed to respond positively - several of the students who had been reprimanded came up and asked me what they needed to turn in. The c.c. and principal went into the classroom next door and gave the same lecture (I felt sorry for the teacher who was overseeing the class at the time). It is sad to see how they used shame to achieve compliance, instead of showing the students that they have a teacher who wants them to learn and grow and cares enough for them to say something about their poor performance... something I pray that God will allow me to demonstrate to my kids, little by little, day by day.

Met with the curriculum coordinator afterwards since a parent had complained / given suggestions for improvement regarding my tests. I was able to answer two of the three complaints satisfactorily - 1. I grade every piece of homework they turn in 2. I give them the answer to the bonus question (ex: What is mercy?) in class and write it on the board to see if they are paying attention. The third was a suggestion that I move the number of points possible from the beginning of the question to the end and use the term "marks" instead of points. All I could do was smile and say, "Sure" (which is exactly how the curriculum coordinator felt too).

A little after 1pm, I walked down to the market to T's office (from the orphanage). Since leaving her position at the orphanage, she is working for Heartland Alliance, which provides free legal counsel to Iraqi's. Their office is on the fourth floor of what looks like a clothing department store. When I arrived, she introduced me to her boss as "Helen Mezuri," which generated some conversation. After finishing up the monthly report she was writing, we explored the market, ate a bag of chips, looked at jewelry, and got some tamarind juice (I'd never tried it before - sort of sweet and sour). I enjoyed talking with T and asking her questions. She is forward-thinking and has some interesting ideas. Found myself praying often that God would give me the words to stay and keep me from inadvertently doing things that would be disrespectful. T introduced me to some of her distant relatives who own different stalls in the market, so I will be able to shop there in the future.

Came home and made the salad for tonight's team meeting. Mary made lasagna soup, and Julie and I had the sides - bread and salad. We Skyped with Dave and Lisa, then had a fire on the roof with a cheesecake dessert that Lisa made. Felt that I needed to walk in the strength of the Lord many times today, and was grateful to see the many ways He met that need. I am finding that it is possible to stay positive when I am resting in His strength. I used to get so discouraged, even depressed for months on end. Now, I can go into situations and instead of focusing on my shortcomings, I simply ask God to show me what He is doing. The stress to be successful, get things done, and see results melts away - I see that all things are ordained by Him and that He delights to be my strength through every situation.

Lately, external negativity seems to encroach on my joy in the Lord. All around me people are discouraged, stressed, and frustrated ... it becomes draining. But then I realize that this is just one more area I need to rely on the Lord for strength. He endured much greater negativity, but continued steadfastly in the will of His Father. By Christ's example, I know that it is possible to remain positive, but need the daily remainder that it is in His strength alone. I can't depend on myself to know how to comfort others, alleviate their stress, or calm their frustrations, I must continually turn to the Lord to give me patience and wisdom, ultimately trusting Him to meet their needs.