Wanted to mention an interesting experience ... a few days ago, I put on the lotion that I had used exclusively during my first 5 months. As soon as I took a deep breath of it, the memories came flooding back. Nothing specific, but all the feelings brought on by different experiences during those first months. I've noticed that with other "familiar" smells - tea in the market, cigarette smoke, dolma, kerosene - but this was definitely the most intense experience yet.
All of my classes went well. I was challenged by Saturday's lesson to be the teacher that serves her students, uses day-to-day experiences as teachable moments, and knows the material. In some ways, math seems to be harder than art. The ability to create my own art lesson plans meant that I was able to find ways to communicate important lessons through the projects. Math is much more structured. My focus these last few days has been rules and procedures. I know this will help create a positive learning environment, but I feel discouraged when there is so much repetition and so little time for "real" student interaction. I fly from one class to the next, teaching through the younger students' break and preparing for class during the upper level break.
Despite the discouragement that overtakes me during times of reflection, the moments I spend in class are always energizing. The first class of the morning seems to be doing well with more structure. I really love each of the students in that class; my goal is to find a way to individually motivate them and connect with them. The next class went smoothly as well. Two of the boys weren't sure they wanted to implement the new procedures, but were more willing after they realized that all the other students (including the "new" kids) were doing it. I have two new girls in the class (in addition to the two new boys mentioned in another post). The one looks perpetually alarmed, and I am trying to figure out if that is her normal facial expression or if she is just adjusting to a new school.
At the end of each class, I handed out a slip of paper that read, "Your student was TERRIFIC today!" to the one who demonstrated the best behavior, participation, etc. Not only did that little piece of paper have a significant impact on the class, it was also a good reminder for me to look for the positive.
At 10am, as I walked into 6B, all of the students had their books open and were working on the in-class assignment SILENTLY! I was thrilled! They are an exemplary class. Everyone of them comes prepared with their materials and homework, having read today's lesson the night before. I will stay busy trying to challenge them.
After class, I helped the curriculum coordinator organize the library - out with the old books and in with the new. It is amazing how many books they fit into such a small space. When Sarah finished with her class, we walked down to the second-hand part of the market to find her a new schoolbag. She also bought a new shirt. We went through a couple different shops and had a 50% success rate. The shops we go to normally were closed, but thankfully we were able to find what we were looking for at the ones that were open. As we headed for home, it looked like a dust storm was moving across the mountains to the north.
I graded papers for most of the afternoon. At 6:30, the entire team met at the "Sheep" restaurant for meat tikka (or beef on a skewer). The meat was good and we enjoyed hanging out. In the evenings it is definitely cooler, so our walk home felt more like a relaxing stroll.
From this evening's devotion, "The Lord trieth the righteous" - "You are a tree that never would have rooted so well if the wind had not rocked you to and fro, and made you take firm hold upon the precious truths of the covenant of grace." May the winds of school and culture and loneliness cause me to take firm hold of Christ.
Tuesday, September 4th:
This morning I had a progress chart for "Pedro" (that is the name I gave him last year in the blog). I told him that each day he behaves well (i.e. doesn't get sent out of the room), I will put a smiley face on the chart. At the end, we will see how many smiley faces he has and I will show it to the principal and curriculum coordinator. He was pleased with the idea, which was evident in his behavior during class and test score (100%).
I gave a "Rules and Procedures" test in each of my classes. It was a good way to reinforce what we have been learning and reviewing the last few days. As a result of 6B turning in all of their homework, I was inspired to "make a deal" with both sixth grade classes. If they turn in all their homework until December, I will let them have a party. They negotiated for: cell phones, food, no math, no homework, and games. I made them stop at laptops, but I hope the "deal" will be a good way to reward the entire group for their diligence. (As a side note, turning in homework is usually optional. Not only has that been the standard in the past, but only one assignment per week is counted in the gradebook anyway, so many students don't worry about missing the other four.)
After we finished our classes, Sarah and I helped another teacher collate 120 phonics books (about 15 pages each) for her first graders. We managed to avoid paper cuts, but both of us ended up being attacked by the stapler! On the walk home, we both noticed that it was definitely warmer today. It was nice to walk into a cool, relatively smell-free apartment. Sarah and I changed into our lounging clothes, got a snack, and then separated to start on schoolwork.
After getting home, I felt tired ... tired of myself. I heard myself talking all morning long, then on the way home, I heard all the thoughts "myself" thinks throughout the day. Unfortunately, I found I was still stuck with "myself" even in my room at home. Poor Sarah ... she's stuck with "myself" too.
***
The realization that 50% of my job is paperwork hit me when I looked at the stack of papers I had been grading. I paused for a moment, feeling a sudden sense of urgency to figure out why I am here. Last year, I was certain that it was nothing but God's providence that brought me to Duhok. Trusting in His wisdom, my eyes were opened to see His work in this place, spiritual growth in my life, and encouragement for those back home. During the summer months in America, I didn't bother thinking about a reason for coming back - I simply knew I had made a commitment and that staying at home would have gratified the flesh. Sitting on my bed with two more classes to grade, I started to wonder if I shouldn't have taken the time to figure out why God wanted me to come back, and more importantly if I shouldn't try to figure it out right now. My eyes wandered up to the wall where I recently hung the words, "Delight in the Lord." I concentrated on the meaning and realized that I have my reason - God has brought me here to delight in Him. I long to have purpose, to be intentional, to know there is significance in what I am doing, but God is teaching me to delight only in Him. How easy it is to delight in what we have been given, or what we are doing ... and how hard it is to delight in Someone other than ourselves. Delighting in God means that I must come to know Him better. I am reading a book by Edwards on God's chief end. I pray that through the study, I will learn to pursue God's ends rather than my own.
