God is merciful! Today was a much better day. I got up at 5am to start the day, listening to hymns as I got ready for school. I had a funny moment when I went to put on my shoes. Just recently I replaced a light bulb in my room (which has been out since Mom and Caleb were here.) My shoes are much more illuminated now and I discovered that Mom left a blue brush in the pair I hardly ever wear. The blue brush has been passed back and forth between Hannah and I for several years now. We both claim it is the other's, trying to get rid of it on one another. Since we started living further and further apart, the passing has been less frequent, but certainly more creative. By the time we are finished with it, the brush will have probably traveled more miles than either of us!
In class today I asked the kids some math riddles, which was a fun way to break up the lesson and get them thinking about math in a different way. They couldn't answer all of them, but one that surprised me was, "When do giraffes have eight legs?" Every class figured it out - "When there are two of them." I asked the c.c. (who also teaches 9th grade math) during the break. He and I both laughed over the fact that neither of us would have guessed it. My favorite riddle, "How many eggs can you put in an empty basket?" ... "Only one, after that the basket isn't empty." :)
During fifth grade's quiz, I asked the students to use a picture or a story to tell me about something they learned in math this year. My inspiration came from something I had heard and written down awhile ago, "Learning takes place when we experience what our minds already know in a new or different way." I wanted my kids to take what they already know and try to communicate it through storytelling. Their responses were very creative and I enjoyed reading most of them. On Melody's quiz (the one who had come to me about "losing" her BFF), her entire response was about why God has given us math and what we can learn about Him through math. [Many thoughts follow here, but will have to come another time.]
The sun was shining brightly after school, and I went to the market as an excuse to enjoy its warmth as long as possible. It was good to be outside and breathe in the somewhat-smoky-but-fresh air. As I walked home, R (the little 4 year old that I took to Gely last year) was out playing in the alley. I always ask him how he is doing, but today I noticed that there wasn't anyone playing soccer with him. I stopped for a moment (with my groceries in hand) and he kicked the ball to me. We kicked it back and forth a few times before I waved goodbye.
For the rest of the afternoon, I worked on schoolwork, then listened to a message on praying God's will. It was a good reminder that if I am to delight in the Lord, I have to delight in the things that bring Him delight and pray for those things to be fulfilled.
Popcorn for dinner. Then Sarah and I had our girl evening before heading off for bed.
Wednesday, February 13th:
Another 5am morning, which seems to help me focus my thoughts and prepare for school. Lisa picked Mary and I up from our apartment and we all drove together. I had a good morning with fifth grade, though Prissy has been leading the girls of 5A through the roller-coaster of her power trips. I try to remain unaffected and lead the rest of the class through the lesson. At some point we will have to talk, but for now I'm weathering the storm, waiting for the waves to calm before I try to approach her.
After sixth grade finished their quiz, I had them write out the names of all of their classmates and share something they really appreciated about each one. 6B complained about it (they've been doing that frequently), but the papers I received were thoughtful. In 6A, one of my twelve-year-old boys wrote down my name and said, "Miss Helen: Because she is like a mother to me." Sweet and serious at the same time ... I was reminded to pray that my influence as a "mother" would honor God and not myself.
This is the very sweet student who made that remark ... I'm pretty sure I'm not old enough to have a 12-year-old son!
During the break, I was finally able to get one of my students to tell me some of the heartache that I've glimpsed at various times throughout the past week. She couldn't tell me all of it, but from what I understand her family was in a terrible accident when she was very young and she was one of the few survivors. She lives with grief, remorse, and guilt. In the face of so much sorrow, what can one say? I longed to give her the peace that I have, but it isn't mine to give. I can only explain it, share it, and express my desire that she should have it. Only the Healer of souls can give her a new heart, remove her guilt, and bring her peace. I held her as she cried on my shoulder and told her I would pray for her. Such a heavy burden for one so young to bear.
When I got home, I listened to a sermon on the glory of God as our motivation. As I thought through it and looked up some articles on-line, I realized that I've been feeling overwhelmed as of late. I wouldn't have thought that initially as I see little being accomplished and the days seem to drag on in an endless stream of monotony. But as the truth came, I felt a sense of relief. In the midst of day-to-day living, I've been building up expectations for myself that lead to new "resolutions" and "I ought to dos". Even though those "resolutions" just felt like ideas, they were piling up in the back of my mind and creating a burden I didn't need to bear. I was able to turn them over to the Lord, then ask Him to focus on the things He wants me to focus on.
At 6:30, we went to Andy and Lisa's for team time before our Skype call. Andy had us read Exodus 14, then we shared the verses that stood out to each of us. I was especially encouraged when I realized that God didn't have to harden Pharaoh's heart and lead the Egyptians to pursue Israel, but He did it to glorify Himself. The Israelites had only to stand still and see the power of the Lord. When troubles come upon me, it is easy to think that I am doing something wrong. But the sermon this afternoon and this passage in Exodus remind me that trouble is used to glorify God. My sin or "success" is in the way I respond to the trouble. Do I wait on the Lord, trusting Him to glorify Himself, or do I cry out in fear? "Wherefore criest thou unto me? speak unto the children of Israel, that they go forward." The evening was a reminder to press on with God's purpose in the forefront of my mind, "And Israel saw that great work which the Lord did upon the Egyptians: and the people feared the Lord, and believed the Lord, and his servant Moses.."
We had a good Skype call with our directors back home. In the process of answering questions for a family that is looking at coming here next fall, we shared how we came Duhok. It was a good reminder of my purpose and desire for being here. After our call, as we were recapping the week, my iPad started "ringing" - when I answered it, there was Eithen! It was so good to spend some time with him. He showed me a puzzle he recently finished and sang me a song he made up about flying to come and get me when he is big enough to be a "fly-lot" (pilot). It's been six months since I last gave him a hug! After I Skyped with Eithen (and Mom and Grandma), Lisa drove me home. It was a late night, but a refreshing day.
