Wednesday, November 28th:
A fairly uneventful day, which wasn't a bad thing. The sun was shining and that made for brighter spirits in both of my 5th grade classes. 5B sensed my happiness, and laughed over little things with me. It didn't take much to keep the students well-behaved. Sometimes, in the middle of a lesson, I am struck with a reminder of how awful they were last spring and it makes me grateful for the little unruliness I have to maintain now. Typing that last sentence reminded me that one of my students threw a chestnut shell at the white board yesterday. He missed and it hit me on the bridge of my nose. Most of the reminders aren't that physical or painful...
As I walked into 6B, Lisa told me that the kids had been disrespectful. The curriculum coordinator had asked to speak with her during the class, and the students took advantage of the opportunity, talking and shouting instead of waiting quietly. She was disappointed since these were the students who had written apology notes last week - it was apparent they hadn't meant what they had said. After she left, I talked to them about honoring Miss Lisa and all of their other teachers. God gave me words to speak. I reminded the class that God rebuked the people saying, "you honor me with your lips, and not with your hearts." It is more important to honor someone with our actions than with our words. The students were subdued after that, and I hoped it was sincere penitence, not merely sulking attitudes.
After school I walked home and took a nap. When I woke up, I finished my grading before going to the orphanage. God answered prayer and the girls were there when I arrived. Not only that, but the worker in charge was very friendly and seemed happy to see me. It took a few failed attempts before we were able to start a conversation. I showed the girls pictures from Istanbul and learned Kurdish words for the things in the pictures. As I tried sentences in Kurdish, they would respond with words they knew in English. I was able to tell them that my mother and brother are coming to visit in January. When I asked if we could come visit, the worker gave me her number so I could call and make sure they were there. By the time I had to leave, we were having a really nice time. They invited me to stay for dinner, but I'd already planned to have Pizza Hot with John and Mary. Two of the girls walked me to the gate and I told them I would see them again in two weeks.
After pizza with John, Mary, and Sarah, I went home and worked on a card for one of the teachers who is leaving tomorrow. I would consider her one of my close friends at the school. This semester has flown by and I regret not having spent more time with her. As I wrote out the card, I kept asking myself if there was some way we could've talked more...
At 8, we Skyped with Dave and Lisa. Sarah and I went across the hall and we conferenced in with Andy and Lisa and the home office. Even though it doesn't seem like there is much to talk about, we always fill up the time and can't believe when the hour is already over. I crawled into bed soon after ... despite my afternoon nap, I was really tired.
Thursday, November 29th:
My uneventful yesterday was good preparation for the fullness of today. Classes went well, though the kids were a little restless with the anticipation of the weekend. First thing in the morning, I reminded 6B to honor Miss Lisa with their actions. When we made the transition, she told me that they were standing at attention when she walked in! (Full marks for effort!) They were well behaved for the rest of her class ... and made sure to tell me!
After I finished teaching, I met Miss Suzan (the teacher who is leaving for a government position) in the teacher room. She brought lunch for everyone (which is customary when you are the one celebrating). I gave her my card and a gift and we took pictures together. She told me about her new teaching job and promised that we would get together. It made my heart ache when she told me that I was her closest friend ... for as little as we know about each other, it is hard to think that she doesn't have anyone else or Someone in her life who will be a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
Another teacher has been offered a government job and has to make a decision by the end of this week. When I gently asked her about it, she began tearing up. I told her we would be praying for her as it would be a difficult decision either way. She is an Assyrian from Baghdad and has several relatives working at the school. She and one other teacher have been with CSM the longest and we would certainly miss her wisdom and experience. On the other hand, a government job is more secure and offers much better benefits. It would be a way for her to financially help her family, though it may not be the job she would prefer.
At 1pm, H (my expat friend that I met with regularly last year) came to the school to pick up her son. We taxied back to her house together for lunch and a refreshing conversation. Though language can be a barrier at times, I love that everything comes back to God's Word in our discussions. It reminded me of Br. Andrew when he would visit Christians in places behind the Iron Curtain. At times, they didn't share a common language, so A would open up his Bible to one of Paul's letters and show them the reference. They would find it in their copy of God's Word and understand his greeting. They went back and forth, conversing through the Scriptures. Sometimes H and I aren't exactly sure what the other means, but then we reference a passage of Scripture and we are back in the same thought. H was really encouraging as she told me the struggle she sees in herself - she described it as having two hearts. I knew exactly what she meant and we compared notes about the ways God has been humbling us and drawing us closer to Himself.
When I got home, around 4:30, Mary invited me over for pasta and BLACKBERRY pie! Berries of any sort are a delicacy here, and I was thankful for her willingness to share. We enjoyed a nice meal together, though we were all a little tired from the busy-ness of the week. As I left to go home, Henry gave me a kiss on the cheek. So cute!
Unexpectedly, but thankfully, I was able to Skype with Mom later in the evening. It was a relief to talk about how the events of the past week have been affecting me. Some of the things I can't talk about here, but God is opening my eyes to see a much larger picture of His glory. Mom encouraged me in these thoughts and helped me articulate things that have been spiritually overwhelming. She reminded me that this conflict is evidence of God's work in my life and should be a comfort. "It is a blessed struggle," she said. Sometimes it is doesn't always feel blessed. Instead, I ask, "Here? Again?" Part of our conversation revealed why certain things have been "collapsing" around me. During the first two months I had built up those things with wood, hay, and stubble. God brought them back to nothing so that I can build again with gold, silver, and precious stones. It was actually a relief to understand that this is deliberate and not because of one event that brought it crashing down. I had been singling out that event and wondering what I'd done wrong at that point. God, in His mercy, simply used the event to reduce my efforts to nothing so that I might depend on Him to build it up again. I would rather restart now than find it worthless in eternity.
It was a late night, but a spiritually refreshing day. God has provided me with sweet fellowship lately and I pray it is being used in preparation for whatever lies ahead...
